Can I really accept this?

Topics related to physical, emotional and psychological forms of pain and suffering
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Re: Can I really accept this?

Post by Midnight » Sat Aug 20, 2011 1:05 am

Hi, thanks all.

I feel like I have accepted this before, peace comes, but the state doesn't leave, I do not want to accept it if it will not go, you can't understand how horrible it is to feel like your not yourself anymore, not fully taking in the enviroment no matter how beautiful it is, forgetting there was a past at all, totally detached beyond even the concept of detachment, here but not here. Every time I try and explain it someone mis-understands and says I'm thinking too much or some other advice that isn't meant for me and doesn't apply.

I'm not purposefully whining, but I'm fed up of this. If I understood WHY it was happening then I could accept it. Get me?

What a mess!

Mtn Wanderer
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Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2011 6:21 pm

Re: Can I really accept this?

Post by Mtn Wanderer » Fri Aug 26, 2011 8:22 pm

Hey! Accept what? The panic? Circular thinking? You don't have to accept it... It is already. You obviously know it exists. YOU know it exists. There you are! Knowing. You are knowing circular thinking and panic exists in you. You are knowing. You are. The one reading (and writing!) this is not a bundle of thoughts and adrenaline. You a not your thoughts, you are the one who is watching the thoughts ... Burning white thoughts. Aware of the pain, fatigue, fear. Just stay there. You who are tired. You who are afraid. You are. You live. Alive, you are. So alive. Full of life, which for this period of time is experienced as pain. But oh, the life that's breathing you. The very breath that breathes you, you are That. Stay there with the life.... Breathe. You are. Accept that first and last. Whatever is important will still be there after you rest a bit. Seriously! Feel the earth's gravity holding you to it. Try escaping that. My very favorite thought, that popped up after my panic days were done, was that with the earth's pull, we also feel the pull of the stars. Thoughts will not always torment. Feel the life of breath. Know it IS. And it is you. So many thoughts sent up for you to be the way through the turmoil. The one who saw it start, recognized the coming anxiety and now panic, will also be the one watching it fade, or drop away. You have not changed. This will not change you. You are the same, yesterday, today, forever. To quote 'the good book'. Gosh, I (yes, this one also breathing, I) hope this helps. 'Cuz I remember the forever feeling days and nights of panic, and they sho did suck!

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