Afraid for myself.

Topics related to physical, emotional and psychological forms of pain and suffering
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Afraid for myself.

Post by brinabeans » Tue Aug 30, 2011 8:14 pm

It's a long story, but I've been diagnosed with schizophrenia. I dont have many symptoms though, mostly just the vague feeling that someone is trying to get inside my head. I say to it "leave me alone" and "go away". I feel like it wants to enter me and so im on guard. This feeling is difficult to accept, but im working on it. Trying not to drink over it, especially because when i drink it gets worse. I feel I'm being harassed by entities that are on the outside of my brain, surrounding my head on the sides of my head. they are not pleasant. They want to use my body, over take me and live in this body. I'm already here. This is my mind and body.

I catch myself getting caught up in the worry, and try to come back to the now and allow it to be.

Has anyone out there experienced this? If so, what helped?

-Thanks, Sabrina

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Re: Afraid for myself.

Post by snowheight » Tue Aug 30, 2011 9:26 pm


Haven't experienced this directly although a few people close to me have. The medication prescribed for this can be very helpful with the specific condition, although it does require quite a bit of physical discipline (eating right and exercise) to counter-act the side effects. Drinking is something that makes the condition much much worse.

My sister goes to a retreat run by a Zen Buddhist monk who was diagnosed with the affliction and who took up his spiritual practice in hopes that it would help. At this point he doesn't take any meds.

Wishing you the best,

Stop talking. Hear every sound as background. Look straight ahead and focus. Take one deep breath. This is you. This is Now.

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Re: Afraid for myself.

Post by ashley72 » Tue Aug 30, 2011 10:50 pm

I haven't experienced this either. But it does sound by your description of the symptoms.... that identifying with certain kinds of thoughts is causing the problems. The Power Of Now, should be helpful for your condition. If you can stop identifying with these "conditioned" delusional thoughts you will break free from the suffering.

It's wonderful you are already so aware of the problem, that's an important first step in overcoming the issue. My advice is to keep trying to witness the thoughts, but not judging those thoughts and feel the inner body as much as possible when those thought arise. But don't judge the feelings, just be aware of the feelings as much as possible.

Good luck. Be as positive as you can, and accept and go with the flow, don't resist anything and embrace life as much as possible. These are important principles to follow.

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Re: Afraid for myself.

Post by far_eastofwest » Wed Aug 31, 2011 1:35 am

this may (or not) be helpful
you may decide to visit a naturopath/dietician person

you are what you eat is an old saying but very apt for modern day sugar/starch/fat filled diets
and alcohol is a super sugar - great for feeding all sorts of not very helpful bacteria in your gut, and interesting to know there are more bacteria cells in a human body than human body cells, so don't underestimate the importance of those little bugs inside you.
Not to mention alcohol hasn't really one positive effect on people but lots of negative ones

investigate ways to increase your self worth

for the gut/schitzophrenia research link:
There is nothing harder to find than a black cat in a dark room
Especially when there is no cat....

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Re: Afraid for myself.

Post by Webwanderer » Thu Sep 01, 2011 3:50 am

Sabrina, love is a strong healing potion. This reality is no less true when applied to one's self which is the foundation for love in general. And love, unconditional love, is unconditionally accepting. That's not to say that one should not bother to seek healing. It is to say that love is not dependent upon results. We all have our challenges. Know that you have inherent strength to deal with yours. Love will open the doors.


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Re: Afraid for myself.

Post by alex » Thu Sep 01, 2011 10:36 am

It sounds like you are speaking from an open heart centre WW :) I have had moments of feeling such an indescribably sweet love, pure bliss radiating from somewhere. Do you feel this often? Love just because. Love that just is.
Sabrina I haven't experienced exactly what you describe but I have had some feeling of a dark entity pushing on my chest. It happened a few years ago and co-incided with sleep paralysis - it is where you wake up and can't move at all, like your brain is fully awake but your body isn't yet. Not a pleasant feeling, especially when it felt like there was this big dark presence pushing down onto me. Eeek. I'm not sure if it's like yours though as it felt very physical rather than to do with the mind. I feel it is because I was at a very down point and had such a low vibration.
All I can suggest is to really concentrate on getting your energy and wellness levels up. Seriously go on a mission to eat really healthlily and do lots of excercize. Dedicate a half hour a day to a proper sit down meditation. Research into what kind you'd like and think about attending classes. Don't worry so much about all the awakening bizzo, meditation is really good for upping the seretonin (feel good chemical) levels in your brain.
When you are feeling well and balanced again is the time for self exploration, right now I'd concentrate on getting well :)

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