I just can`t motivate myself to do anything.

Topics related to physical, emotional and psychological forms of pain and suffering

I just can`t motivate myself to do anything.

Postby Stella 7 » Mon Nov 07, 2011 9:14 pm

I don`t know where to begin really.
Two years ago, I had a bereavement, and without going into details, the circumstances were horrendous. This resulted in me having (about 9 months after the loss) some kind of mental breakdown I suppose,although nobody would have known. I managed to "act normally" even though inside it was literally hell.
Someone told me about The Power of Now, and I read it, but at that time I was so messed up I wasn`t able to fully absorb it.
Jump forward to this year, and by chance I "discovered" Ramana Maharshi , I felt a real sense of peace reading about him, and even just looking at his picture.
I also joined Eckhart Tolle`s mailing list, and a few weeks ago there was a free live meditation session with him. Again I really felt peace .
All well and good, but the problem I am having is that I just can`t seem to motivate myself to do anything. At all.
I think I have got lost in the philosophy of all this, ie if we are not mind, just pure consciousness, what is this "worldly" life all about?
I feel most days just so un engaged. .. is that a word? But you will hopefully know what I mean. After this kind of eureka break through, when reading Ramana then watching Eckhart`s online meditation, I feel like I have literally hit a brick wall.
There is so much more I could add, but that`s probably too long already!
Stella 7
 
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Re: I just can`t motivate myself to do anything.

Postby unbornawakened » Tue Nov 08, 2011 12:51 am

Thank you, dear, for being so candid. I know how you feel.

Who am I to give advice ? I am struggling with various issues, and often I am not on top ... plus I don;t know you well enough.

There may be many factors ... chemical (deficiencies that may be genetic), cognitive (being stuck in certain beliefs, mental patterns), behavioral (here I include all the little things including proper nutrition, exercise, socializing, being outdoors, proper entertainment, etc). As far as the 'spiritual', it might or might not help, it depends where you are at, and who you are listening to, but ET and RM are excellent choices. However, there is a danger of misunderstanding ... my gut feeling is, forget RM for now, and listen to ET if it makes you feel better - be sure to put into practice a few simple exercises he suggests.

But most important of all, if I understood you correctly, you need:
1) find out what it is you really want (and be honest)
2) gather the power to act (almost as a spiritual exercise)

I think Anthony Robbins might be a better motivator for you now, than RM or even ET (or you can alternate between AR and ET).

Remember, the key is perseverance. Keep at it, and build the momentum. It might take days and weeks to see effects.
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Re: I just can`t motivate myself to do anything.

Postby Stella 7 » Tue Nov 08, 2011 2:28 am

Thanks so much for the reply. The truth is I do not have a clue what I want, for the past couple of years I have been entirely consumed( if that is the right word )
with my loss.
I was truly moved by RM .
And of course ET suffered.
I don`t really feel like socialising, but nobody who knew me would really know this, I believe I am good company and can act the part well.
Having said that, most of the time I am alone.
Its good to be a member of this board, and read about others.
As far as all the things you kindly suggested, I do eat healthily and so on, mentally , I have just been very sad for a long time now, and this caused much stress, but my doctor said that my problem is just that I am too sensitive.
I have loads of questions about loads of things on all matters spiritual, non-duality, pure consciousness etc.
Will look at what you suggested. Thanks.
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Re: I just can`t motivate myself to do anything.

Postby snowheight » Tue Nov 08, 2011 3:21 am

Stella,

Courageous of you to share your grief here, my sympathies.

Many people post of this phenomena ... loss of motivation ... in the context of a realization based on this work.

There are many kind souls here ( :wink:) who can perhaps suggest resources that might help.

Just thinking out loud now, I guess, when we go through life constantly driven by the never-ending-one-thing-one-thought-one-story-after-another-better-move-better-do-or-ELSE cycle and then suddenly have it *broken* perhaps this should be expected -- some others might question where you are, whether you are telling yourself a story, etc etc. .... and what they say might even have some truth value to it, but I'll let them say it.

Instead I'm going to give you some advice, and with this and $10 you can get yourself a nice latte in a gentrified neighborhood somewhere. First piece of advice: go spend the $10.

Seriously though, try replacing whatever *that* was that isn't there anymore with complete and utter spontaneity. Whatever your work situation might be, that can and will drive itself: recognizing that if certain things don't get done by certain times isn't some sort of story or unconscious thought pattern, it's just witnessing the machine and surrendering to necessity.

Outside of work, try, just randomly, for no reason, to get out, go somewhere unfamiliar but comfortable and sit with your eyes open and pay attention. Set an arbitrary period of time ... heck, roll a pair of dice and multiply that by 10, wait that number of minutes.

Then close your eyes and wait for the next thought that suggests some action to arise. If nothing does, nothing does. But just try it and see what happens.

Good luck to you.
Stop talking. Hear every sound as background. Look straight ahead and focus. Take one deep breath. This is you. This is Now.
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Re: I just can`t motivate myself to do anything.

Postby randomguy » Tue Nov 08, 2011 6:56 am

I have just been very sad for a long time now, and this caused much stress, but my doctor said that my problem is just that I am too sensitive.

How can it be known about "too sensitive", by a doctor or even by you? What if you give yourself the freedom to be sad? I find a certain sweetness to sadness, when not thought that it should be otherwise.

Stella 7 wrote:I think I have got lost in the philosophy of all this, ie if we are not mind, just pure consciousness, what is this "worldly" life all about?

It's a big question. I have seen more than one post on this forum relating some answers to this line of questioning to feelings of depression. Let me ask you this, do you know that you need to know that? Consider for a second that maybe the joy of being (the peace beyond understanding) is just here as part of your nature, and it doesn't require figuring anything out. Would that mean you can let thoughts fall unanswered where they may and just let what you notice be as it is, even if what you notice is sadness? Maybe the meaning of this worldly life is just a weak substitute for knowing that you are this life. Maybe answers to the big philosophical questions are small temporary prizes for when we have forgotten our nature and have not yet realized the way back out of the forgetting. Maybe be what you are, and let your heart answer that in a way other than words.
Do the yellow-rose petals
tremble and fall
at the rapid's roar?
- Basho
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Re: I just can`t motivate myself to do anything.

Postby Stella 7 » Tue Nov 08, 2011 4:31 pm

Thank-you snowheight and thank-you randomguy.
You are quite right snowheight , I should get out and just do something/anything.
And randomguy, that`s a lovely message you gave me, just allow yourself to feel sad, the trouble is other people want me to be the smiler, the joker.And its easy for sadness to turn into depression,if I`m not careful.
Without going into details the person who I loved , died in circumstances which have necessitated in me fighting a battle for the past two years, and it is all too easy to get absorbed in anger, bitterness and of course grief, which hurts as deeply now .
Which was why, when I saw Ramana Maharshi on the internet, I did cry tears, of kind of a pure joy...who knows why, but it was a real liberation, I can`t explain .For that I am glad.
Thanks again, good to be here.
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Re: I just can`t motivate myself to do anything.

Postby snowheight » Tue Nov 08, 2011 8:17 pm

great non-dual pointer on sadness rg ... reflecting on the cultural obsession with wiping out negative emotion just evoked the image for me of someone with a jaded palette killing themselves with too much salt.

Stella 7 wrote:the trouble is other people want me to be the smiler, the joker. And its easy for sadness to turn into depression,if I`m not careful.


There's that great first step Stella, the step of witnessing the false self, the role, being aware of it, being conscious of it, being present to it ... notice what I'm not saying here: I'm not suggesting that every time you see this play out to do something about it, to suppress this pattern, I'm just commenting on your observation of it.

Stella 7 wrote:Without going into details the person who I loved , died in circumstances which have necessitated in me fighting a battle for the past two years, and it is all too easy to get absorbed in anger, bitterness and of course grief, which hurts as deeply now.


There are stories Stella, and then there are stories. We have Tolle's profound pointers that question our whole conception of time, and then sometimes we are confronted with grief that overwhelms and the only cure seems the distance we can put between us and it ... but there is no time like the present for self-forgiveness, because if not now, when?
Stop talking. Hear every sound as background. Look straight ahead and focus. Take one deep breath. This is you. This is Now.
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Re: I just can`t motivate myself to do anything.

Postby randomguy » Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:03 pm

Stella 7 wrote:...and it is all too easy to get absorbed in anger, bitterness and of course grief, which hurts as deeply now .
Which was why, when I saw Ramana Maharshi on the internet, I did cry tears, of kind of a pure joy...who knows why, but it was a real liberation, I can`t explain .For that I am glad.

I agree with snow about observation, awareness, and forgiveness.

Here's a Ramana quote I am fond of:
"Whatever burdens are thrown on God, He bears them. Since the supreme power of God makes all things move, why should we, without submitting ourselves to it, constantly worry ourselves with thoughts as to what should be done and how, and what should not be done and how not? We know that the train carries all loads, so after getting on it why should we carry our small luggage on our head to our discomfort, instead of putting it down in the train and feeling at ease? "

How would God as mentioned by Ramana see it? Would it be as this to which nothing is a burden and experience of any kind is just experience? Could it be that this is how it is seen now? Is this something that can be noticed, remembered, or recognized? Is there a sense of it? What sees? What is aware? Is there a wider awareness within which the stuff of life is observed and is unbothered by division or distinction? Can we see as that as life plays out? Is that a more true foundation of seeing than troubling with an idea of me? Could a sense of something like this have been recognized when seeing images of Ramana?
Do the yellow-rose petals
tremble and fall
at the rapid's roar?
- Basho
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Re: I just can`t motivate myself to do anything.

Postby Stella 7 » Thu Nov 10, 2011 8:25 pm

Thanks.
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Re: I just can`t motivate myself to do anything.

Postby Stella 7 » Thu Nov 10, 2011 8:41 pm

Stella 7 wrote:Thanks.

Here`s a quote I like from Rumi:
"Whatever you seek, is seeking you"
Excuse the post coming in two goes, the computer malfunctioned. I know how it feels.
It is quite true what you write about, of course, but, with years of the mind being in charge ,so to speak, it is not easy .
There are some very smart people on here, and sometimes the more I read, the more confused I get.
Just muddled, cross, and I suppose, ego driven at the moment .It will pass, I am aware I am neither thought nor feeling.
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Re: I just can`t motivate myself to do anything.

Postby randomguy » Fri Nov 11, 2011 6:51 am

The cool kids like poetry.
Do the yellow-rose petals
tremble and fall
at the rapid's roar?
- Basho
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