Page 1 of 1

The paradox of Contentment versus Fulfillment?

PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 7:08 am
by meetjoeblack
Hi I am Joe.

I am struggling with the concept of contentment and fulfillment.

In the presentment moment, here and now, I can be content. I am single. It would be madness to not accept the reality and yet, do everything in my power to make changes. I feel the same with work. I can be content, here and now, present to the moment, and yet, I am not fulfilled. I feel like my life is meant to do/be and offer so much more value then I am currently doing. Despite working hard, taking my vitamins, getting an education, I feel like I am following the beaten path but, I am no more fulfilled then I was before I took drastic amount of action.

I recently began taking up daily habits. These consist of meditation when I wake and before bed. Depending on my mindset guided meditation or silent meditation. I am not rigid about this process. I then begin the morning with what I am grateful about? I come up with how I could make today great? I end off with affirmations to begin my day. I end the day off with victories no matter how small. I also reflect on how I could improve the day. I have noticed a difference by practicing gratitude.

I know a job or work will never be fulfilling entirely. I know the same as a relationship. This is what I am struggling with at the moment. To be content and yet, fulfilled or maybe this discontentment seeping in. Something I am struggling with in the sense that, I want to work towards fulfillment, towards a better life but, I wonder at times if this is just chasing phantoms?

When single, I desire a gf or to date. When I am dating, I want my freedom. When I was in school, I was excited to finish, to get into my career, and feel accomplishment. I got into my career and I first asked, "now what?"

Wherever you go, there you are!

Now, I have some ideas and a vision for my life that I am working towards. I am content here and now to the presentment but, I am not fulfilled. I am working towards this dream. I just struggle with fulfillment or finding fulfillment in the present moment. Can you be content and not fulfilled or am I just chasing phantoms? This life is a gift and if I am not giving on my gifts, living at my edge, I wont feel fulfilled. It seems like a paradox; to be content here and now yet, working towards a dream.

Re: The paradox of Contentment versus Fulfillment?

PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 10:49 am
by DavidB
Don't bother searching for fulfillment. Searching for fulfillment is similar to trying to become enlightened, both are illusions and will ultimately create frustration. The truth is that we are already fulfilled, nothing more can be added.

There are 3 fundamental aspects of the human condition.

Limitation
Vulnerability
Loss

Contentment comes from acceptance of all three.

The feeling of being unfulfilled will always be there however, as it is a fundamental aspect of who we are as human beings and cannot be eliminated completely. Once we know this though, we don't take it personally any more, we simply accept it as a fundamental aspect of who we are and allow it to be as it is, no longer a source for dysfunction.

Re: The paradox of Contentment versus Fulfillment?

PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2017 11:50 pm
by dijmart
Striving for fulfillment....reminds me of when ET said all he wanted was his college degree (in whatever), he says, "Once I got it I was happy for about 2 weeks".

I have a similiar story...when I went to college for nursing in my 30's, all I wanted while busting my arse studying was to graduate and get my RN license and be a nurse. Once I had it...I was happy/fulfilled for about a week, then came....all I want is a nursing job! Then, once I had the job I didn't like the job :lol:

So, I started and quit 3 nursing jobs in 6 months. Finally, found a nursing job I could tolerate. Thing is I hate nursing!!! Funny since at one point it's all I wanted. So, eventually after gaining 5 yrs experience, while I'm still in a nursing role. I no longer do patient care, but have contact with patients. This suits me, but it took awhile to get here. Seems like I really didn't know "what I wanted", just thought I did.

Anything we can "gain" in the manifested world is limited, it won't provided lasting fulfillment. Also, anything "gained" here can also be lost. Bummer!

Re: The paradox of Contentment versus Fulfillment?

PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 12:32 am
by DavidB
I did nursing too. It seemed like a great idea at the time, while I was still ambitious and had a need to become something and do something. By the time I finished the nursing course my priorities had changed. I only had to work as a nurse for 3 days to realize nursing was not what I wanted to do. Too much stress, too much responsibility.

I earn less with what I do now, but I'm also contented, which for me, is far more valuable.

Re: The paradox of Contentment versus Fulfillment?

PostPosted: Thu Feb 23, 2017 1:36 am
by dijmart
I did nursing too. It seemed like a great idea at the time


Oh yeah, it seems like a great idea, I agree. Too bad it's not all its cracked up to be. More like a glorified slave, with massive responsibility and abused verbally by doctors and patients. In floor nursing at least. That's why I went into home health care, no doctors screaming at you and if patients were nasty I high tailed it out of there ASAP!

I only had to work as a nurse for 3 days to realize nursing was not what I wanted to do.


Hope you don't mind, but... :lol:

Yeah, my 1st nursing job was in the ER and I quit after 3 weeks :lol: I don't know how I lasted that long, except I had been an EMT in an ER years prior, but not with nearly the responsibility of a nurse.

So, out of sheer curiosity what do you do now? If you don't mind saying?

Re: The paradox of Contentment versus Fulfillment?

PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 1:14 am
by DavidB
So, out of sheer curiosity what do you do now? If you don't mind saying?


I still work in one of the largest hospitals in my city, with both an Emergency and an ICU. I work in the ancillary services, which I love. I have very little responsibility and get to walk around all day and have chats with colleagues.:D

It's not a career and it doesn't pay nearly as much as nursing, but at the end of the day, I go home and rest contented. :wink:

Re: The paradox of Contentment versus Fulfillment?

PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:46 am
by dijmart
DavidB wrote:
So, out of sheer curiosity what do you do now? If you don't mind saying?


I still work in one of the largest hospitals in my city, with both an Emergency and an ICU. I work in the ancillary services, which I love. I have very little responsibility and get to walk around all day and have chats with colleagues.:D

It's not a career and it doesn't pay nearly as much as nursing, but at the end of the day, I go home and rest contented. :wink:


That's awesome! I loved my job as an ER tech, I had responsibility, but it was rather easy for me and I got to walk around to other departments often. Things have changed in ER's though which I saw first hand when I started there as a nurse. Unfortunately, most hated there job and were miserable. Back in the 90's we had fun often, which I guess is weird for an ER, but it made coming to work pleasant.

Anyways, thanks for sharing :D

Re: The paradox of Contentment versus Fulfillment?

PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 3:42 pm
by rachMiel
Addressing a similar question from a psychological pov:

https://www.ted.com/talks/daniel_kahnem ... _vs_memory

Re: The paradox of Contentment versus Fulfillment?

PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2017 5:45 am
by meetjoeblack
Thanks guys.

I like this forum. I never see flame wars/trolling/etc so, it is refreshing.

I input a whole lot of energy, time, and effort into an endeavor. It does not feel like it was paying off not to mention, all the fallout I experienced but, it definitely opened up a new path for me. I have always felt like entrepreneurship was calling me but, I watched struggling growing up on that path so, I was always fearful. Also, with social media, to put yourself out there, it is very scary because of the haters/trolling/flame wars but, living in fear is not really living. There are things I want to accomplish in my life but, I am not so sure there is a lasting feeling of fulfillment.

I am realizing more and more, I have spent my life chasing phantoms. Happiness always awaits in some distant place or path. One day, I will travel. One day, I will meet the perfect girl for me. One day.... !

Chasing a future is something I have done most of my life but, the past harmonizes. I get more of what I need. Not what I want. So, I grow.

I am breaking out of a stage of ambiguity. I thought I knew where my true north was. I am not so sure anymore. And I am ok with not knowing. Similar to the law of attraction, I have come across a few programs on 'energy' and 'reiki.' I came across a series of different tools, activities, daily habits, and breathing exercises. Since doing so, I have realized my energy was higher. I noticed people reciprocating to my energy and doors opening. I don't know if it is placebo or if there is definitely something to it. So, I am going to continue.

Outside the panic attack I just had, I have been in great state and physiology. I am doing pranic breathing; guided/meditation daily. I notice it a lot but, I notice a wave of fear comes over me. Likely why I never did well experimenting with drugs lol