One step forward, two steps back?

Here you may share how the words Eckhart Tolle have affected your life.
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Jbrooke
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One step forward, two steps back?

Post by Jbrooke » Sat May 19, 2012 4:45 am

Well, yesterday I experienced an awakening I have never fully encompassed in life so far. I was not blissful or stress free all day by any means. But things I had previously been so confused about became clear and natural and made so much sense to me. All sorts of revelations, and better yet, I was able to integrate them into my being and began to sense true peace and joy. It was remarkable.

And then today...

Complete contrast. Nothing clicked or felt right. I was in a horrible depression and state of consuming anxiety. I didn't give up on trying to work through it, but I wasn't able to utilize the practices and insights like I did yesterday. I was a bundle of nerves and despair today. I could hardly manage to just breathe deeply and consciously without my heart palpitating and fogging every inch of my being.

Is this experience a common one? One day being enlightening and full of growth and the next being utterly despondent? What does this all mean?

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kiki
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Re: One step forward, two steps back?

Post by kiki » Sat May 19, 2012 5:12 am

Is this experience a common one?
Yes.
One day being enlightening and full of growth and the next being utterly despondent? What does this all mean?
I would venture to say that your experience is pretty much the way it works for most people.
"Miss Kelly, perhaps you'd like this flower. I seem to have misplaced my buttonhole ... Miss Kelly, you know, when you wear my flower you make it look beautiful." Elwood P. Dowd
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Golf
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Re: One step forward, two steps back?

Post by Golf » Sat May 19, 2012 8:27 pm

Hi, J!

It seems you had a breakthrough, and now, around a curve in the road, the next obstacle comes in your way.
Your insights from yesterday are still valid today, but you were too anxious to remember and practice them.
On days like these, maybe the best course of action would be to just make yourself as comfortable as possible, or get busy with something (whatever feels better) so that it passes more easily, and the insights will pop back into your head tomorrow.
"If you're so smart, how come you're working at a gas station?"
-"It's a service station. We offer service, there is no higher purpose."
8)

Jbrooke
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Re: One step forward, two steps back?

Post by Jbrooke » Sun May 20, 2012 12:18 am

Yes, I definitely had a breakthrough the other day. It was pretty exciting, actually. And so, to experience the polar opposite the following day really scared me. I attempted to put the practices into play and to apply what I have experienced and learned so far and felt miserable. My seemingly infinite fear of not progressing and instead, regressing as it seemed, was very frightening. I realize that not every single day will project more and more peace and growth and so on. I know it doesn't work that way. But, the thing that was so scary and confusing to me was the fact that I HAD made a breakthrough and felt alive the day before and yet felt worse than ever the following day. The contrast was so blatant.

Regarding what kiki said about this experience being something that most of us share was interesting. And I can't help but be curious and wonder if this rapid cycling starts to even out as we grow into the process? Does it eventually become more consistent?

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kiki
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Re: One step forward, two steps back?

Post by kiki » Sun May 20, 2012 12:55 am

And I can't help but be curious and wonder if this rapid cycling starts to even out as we grow into the process? Does it eventually become more consistent?
Yes it does. You'll find that those periods of confusion fade more quickly as you get more familiar with being present.
"Miss Kelly, perhaps you'd like this flower. I seem to have misplaced my buttonhole ... Miss Kelly, you know, when you wear my flower you make it look beautiful." Elwood P. Dowd
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