Addictions and Compulsions

Here you may share how the words Eckhart Tolle have affected your life.

Addictions and Compulsions

Postby Jbrooke » Sat Jun 16, 2012 12:59 am

Can any of you share your experiences with compulsive/addictive behaviors?

I have dealt with a relentless binge eating disorder for over 30 years (since I was a child) and it continues to get worse and worse. The truth is right in front of me. Within me. I know, without doubt, that the only way through this compulsion is being aware and being patient and being awake. I KNOW the "answer" is not dieting or attempts to control. I know it's all about letting go. But, I can't stop the bingeing. I think I have been bingeing more since becoming more enlightened within this past month or so. Is this typical?

I would love to hear from any of you who struggle with addictions and deeply embedded compulsions. I feel so scared right now.

Best to all,
Jen
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Re: Addictions and Compulsions

Postby smiileyjen101 » Sat Jun 16, 2012 2:06 am

Hi Jen
When we experience stimuli we usually channel them down paths to responses that ease any discomfort we're feeling.
If something 'that' works to relieve the uncomfortableness of 'this' the next time we feel 'this' our response is 'that'. It becomes automatic and unconscious response to stimuli

when this...
then that...

The pain of facing 'this' rather than applying the band aid of 'that' becomes falsely identified as a life threat. We build up a dependency on this lifesaver as if it really is, so letting go of it means two things a) we lose our safety response to a perceived threat and b) if we let go of the false lifesaver we're left alone with 'this' perceived threat again.

You'd be noticing your response more now because you are more aware of your thoughts, feelings and responses. In panic at even the thought of having (or wanting, or needing) to give up your life saver it creates more awareness on your attachment to it.

It's helpful to learn what triggered 'this' feeling of unsafeness, when it was, in what situation and notice that you selected that particular response because of the possible powerlessness you may have felt to alleviate the suffering from the stimuli in the first place.

There are many helpful strategies to hold 'this' and 'that' apart from each other, break the cycle of 'if this... then that'
Neuro linguistic programming is awesome and helped me immensely to reframe a perceived threat and break a pattern of behaviour into a more healthy ...if this.. then something different to that.

Cognitive behaviour therapy looks at the building of this response from the beginning, and also works on consciously choosing different responses to stressors.

So in a sense you can go back to the original choice and say well, that might have been the only option that occurred to me then, but now I can identify other options when I feel 'this'.

What those other options might be are likely to be personal choices in things that are both helpful and healthful for you.
Then like the first learning of 'if this... then 'that' you learn to channel the responses to stimuli down another series of responses, in time, like the first one it becomes automatic.

NLP is helpful in breaking the 'comfort' attachment to the response that you want to change, associating that response with pain instead of comfort.

It's not immediate, neither is the addiction or compulsion, they both are learned responses.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
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Re: Addictions and Compulsions

Postby Yutso » Sat Jun 16, 2012 3:26 am

http://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Not-Your- ... 1583334262

This approach is backed by neuro-science and is in accord with Tolle.
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Re: Addictions and Compulsions

Postby arel » Sat Jun 16, 2012 5:30 am

I notice that my body's predominant sensation, is the sensation of self preservation. A fear of varying degree depending on a situation, confined in the body. Since it is such a predominant, always buzzing feeling, we get a sense of self as it. I believe because our attention is on it constantly with whatever else comes up. This website is dedicated to shifting that sense of self from the body to what knows it. There is no fear "there". No addictions and compulsions, because all of that is simply because of that natural sense of self preservation in the body. When what we know as self shifts, it all shifts as well. So know yourself as often as you can. And as you said, it will be kicking up violently. Because that what the sense of preservation does, preserves its existence. But then you see again, that You are safe, again and again. "Chill". Wanting to quit is also born of that false-self preservation. Doesn't matter. It's good for the body.
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Re: Addictions and Compulsions

Postby Jbrooke » Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:36 am

Thank you all. I bought that book that was recommended and look forward to reading it.

I just have to continue reminding myself that it took over 30 yrs to form this compulsion and it will take time to free myself of it. Gotta practice patience...
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Re: Addictions and Compulsions

Postby Pako Chubi » Tue Jun 26, 2012 9:21 pm

Jbrooke wrote:Thank you all. I bought that book that was recommended and look forward to reading it.

I just have to continue reminding myself that it took over 30 yrs to form this compulsion and it will take time to free myself of it. Gotta practice patience...


When you stop feeding the anxiety, the necessity, addiction or compulsion, your mind and body take that as if you were not satisfying the body-mind survival needs. It's like you are against your mind-body, but actually you are "against" your ego or your false necessities, or to put it in other words, you are dissolving them. The ego wants to survive, and if it has an obsession with food, then the ego needs to eat everything in order to survive.
But then you realize that you and your mind-body actually don't need to eat everything in order to survive, and so you stop doing so. The ego starts putting anxiety, fear, fearful thoughts inside you in order to make you feed it's own necessities. The ego controls you in that way!!

For example, I'm quite identified with my creative thought procceses (imagination, day-dreaming, creating stories, poetry, fantastic scenarios, reflections on life, etc) So the ego believes that in order to survive I need to think in those terms a lot... It's like food for my "creative identity". If I don't think in those things, I won't be creative and I will fail. That's the fear my ego puts inside my consciousness. But then I realize I don't need to be thinking all day long in those dreams and stories, so I choose to stop doing so... Then thoughts come that say "If you stop dreaming you will loose your creativity" or things like that, fearful thoughts that sometimes give me headaches.
Then I either fear that, fear the headaches, fear that thoughts, and continue to think and think (wich also gives me more headaches), or I stop and watch the whole egoic proccess... to finally realize it was all an ilussion!! that's to accept and then realize the truth of that which you are accepting.

well, hope you start to bring consciousness into your egoic processes :lol: see you
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Re: Addictions and Compulsions

Postby smiileyjen101 » Tue Jun 26, 2012 10:26 pm

I just have to continue reminding myself that it took over 30 yrs to form this compulsion and it will take time to free myself of it. Gotta practice patience...

While I'm not a fan of 'practice' I prefer the real thing, how about let the past go and concentrate only on this moment?
Practice presence.

Staying present in this moment will allow you to respond in love, not react in fear.

You may feel old familiar stimuli arise, but you know what this is now. You can say "Oh hi, it's you again, now why did you arise in this moment? ....oh, right yes I'm applying fear here.... actually thanks for dropping by and reminding me, see ya!! :)
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
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Re: Addictions and Compulsions

Postby DavidB » Wed Jun 27, 2012 1:03 pm

You might want to focus on what is motivating the need to binge.

Presence is a wonderful way to experience the Now and to live authentically, but dealing with old neurotic patterns takes time and work. Being present at a loaf of bread for example, is fine for being one with the bread, but the bread isn't going to become a sandwich until you actually take the time and work to make a sandwich. Wood wont chop itself and water wont fetch itself.

When I used to binge drink, I used to try and "wipe myself out". When I finally realized that I was trying to erase myself, I was finally able to come to terms with what was motivating me to binge drink. I was then able to stop drinking.

It might be helpful for you to understand why you binge eat, why you need to feel "FULL-FILLED", literally full filling yourself with food. If your emotional attachment to food has become identified with full fulfillment or inner contentment, then focusing on inner fulfillment, or focusing on inner peace or presence, will probably be what is motivating you to binge even more. It's worth thinking about.
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
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Re: Addictions and Compulsions

Postby heidi » Wed Jun 27, 2012 2:37 pm

Here's a nice Abraham-Hicks piece on that.
My advice - First, be nice to yourself. :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gd-4syTPm5w
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmJWgt99T8M
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Re: Addictions and Compulsions

Postby DavidB » Wed Jun 27, 2012 3:36 pm

My advice - First, be nice to yourself. :D


Great advice. And thanks for the Abraham links. :)
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
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Re: Addictions and Compulsions

Postby coriolis » Wed Jun 27, 2012 3:52 pm

Jbrooke wrote:Can any of you share your experiences with compulsive/addictive behaviors?


For me they occur when I feel cornered, trapped, in need of something that I can't exactly pinpoint and therefore am grasping at whatever might be it.
And "it" never is "IT" but just another repetition of looking for something that does not exist as an object to be "found", "earned", or otherwise "attained".

Jbrooke wrote:I have dealt with a relentless binge eating disorder for over 30 years (since I was a child) and it continues to get worse and worse. The truth is right in front of me. Within me. I know, without doubt, that the only way through this compulsion is being aware and being patient and being awake. I KNOW the "answer" is not dieting or attempts to control. I know it's all about letting go. But, I can't stop the bingeing. I think I have been bingeing more since becoming more enlightened within this past month or so. Is this typical?


I've tried to fill the emptiness felt in my center with everything from food to religious belief but the emptiness , like a black hole, just consumed them all and remained completely unfazed while I became fatter or a fanatic.
In times when I'm free of compulsion the emptiness seems more like spaciousness.
Room where everything can be but nothing has to be and nothing is necessarily greater than anything else.
I can feel the compulsion to get that snack but, at the same time equally note, that, physically, I really don't feel hungry at all.
So I can let the compulsion be, observe it for what it is, and let it pass without taking action on it.
But the "me I've always thought I was" hates this spaciousness and wants to recast it as emptiness and goad me to start once again futiley trying to fill it with things.
The emptiness this ego imagines is actually the space in which all things exist, however, and cannot therefore truly be filled with anything other than the still, silent, awareness that it always is -- all else just comes and goes.

Jbrooke wrote:I would love to hear from any of you who struggle with addictions and deeply embedded compulsions. I feel so scared right now.


When you remember who and what you are beyond name and form compulsions become fleeting breaths of energy emerging and transpiring in the infinity of eternity.
When you forget that you abhor your true identity as the emptiness that must be filled.
Learn to focus your attention on that when you begin to feel besieged.
Then allow what is to freely be and just as freely, to cease.
Like anything else we learn by "getting a feel for it" that goes deeper than intellectual knowing it will become our first instinct rather than our final recourse.
And a global change will occur, revolutionary when conceptually framed, but so ordinary and familiar in actual experience that it is the ultimate "Wow I could've had a V8 and did" moment.
Look deeply inside yourself and try to find yourself.
The ensuing failure is the true finding
---- Wu Hsin
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Re: Addictions and Compulsions

Postby karmarider » Wed Jun 27, 2012 3:53 pm

Jen,
Geneen Roth, Charles Eisentstein, Paul Mckenna, "Shrink Yourself"--these people may be able to shed some light on food compulsion. It's a matter of being in a place of noticing. I simplify this approach down to three intuitive steps: eat when hungry, eat whatever you want with full pleasure, stop when satisfied. If you try this, you might find that it can take some patience and time and back-and-forthness to release the resistance and beliefs around food.

For smoking addictions, look up Allen Carr (easyway I think). He makes quitting smoking not just easy, but actually enjoyable, and there is the added benefit of insight into the mental conflict of desire.

For alcohol addiction, see Jack Trimpey's Rational Recovery.

You asked only about food but the others can help with some understanding into the nature of compulsion.
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Re: Addictions and Compulsions

Postby Pako Chubi » Wed Oct 10, 2012 7:23 am

karmarider wrote:Jen,
Geneen Roth, Charles Eisentstein, Paul Mckenna, "Shrink Yourself"--these people may be able to shed some light on food compulsion. It's a matter of being in a place of noticing. I simplify this approach down to three intuitive steps: eat when hungry, eat whatever you want with full pleasure, stop when satisfied. If you try this, you might find that it can take some patience and time and back-and-forthness to release the resistance and beliefs around food.

For smoking addictions, look up Allen Carr (easyway I think). He makes quitting smoking not just easy, but actually enjoyable, and there is the added benefit of insight into the mental conflict of desire.

For alcohol addiction, see Jack Trimpey's Rational Recovery.

You asked only about food but the others can help with some understanding into the nature of compulsion.


For anything else call 8865504, ask for Lucy :lol:
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Re: Addictions and Compulsions

Postby heidi » Wed Oct 10, 2012 4:33 pm

Hi Jen - Just yesterday there was a post by my facebook friend, Scott Kiloby, that he has developed an inquiry process called Compulsion Inquiry which he or one of his associates facilitates to help people learn to inquire to the point where there's the realization that the actual urge really doesn't exist, and as with any of that kind of inquiry, the person ends up resting in awareness where compulsion dissipates into nothing like everything else. :D It costs money to learn how to do the inquiry, but it sounds intriguing to me, as I think his process would be applicable to any mind/body situations, be it compulsions or simply runaway thinking - or any obsessive or compulsive thinking whatsoever. :D

Here's the info: https://www.facebook.com/groups/4082208 ... 372011102/

The Compulsion Inquiry (CI) is distilled from Scott’s work on the Natural Rest Method, as well as
his Unfindable Inquiry. Whatever substance or activity you’re dealing with, the CI works in a similar
way. Firstly, we guide you to spot what we call the ghost, which is the subtle, often unconscious
mental picture that pops up before you engage in your substance or activity. Secondly, we look at all
the thought patterns, images, bodily sensations, and emotions that come up in relation to the
substance or activity. This very simple, direct looking reveals that there is no command, anywhere,
to do or use anything. Thirdly, you discover the relaxation response that is already present; a deep
but rarely experienced peace is revealed, right here. Once you connect with this ‘point of
relaxation’, you recognize that it has nothing to do with any substance or activity, or to anything in
the future.
The Compulsion Inquiry can be used on any compulsion, addiction, or craving, including tobacco,
alcohol, sexual addictions, and food (to name a few). The Living Inquiries Facilitators are now
trained in this inquiry and making it available to people who are interested in changing their
addictive or compulsive behavior.


Good luck!
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Re: Addictions and Compulsions

Postby Jbrooke » Sun Oct 28, 2012 12:15 am

Thank you, heidi-

I really appreciate this. I am very interested and want to look into it. You are so thoughtful to have shared this with me.
Jen
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