Terrible Night

Here you may share how the words Eckhart Tolle have affected your life.

Terrible Night

Postby rideforever » Mon Jun 25, 2012 1:07 am

Well it's midnight, I've been trying to sleep for 2 hours, I have to get up at 6.

I've been lost in storm of rage and anger, my whole body shaking in my bed, thoughts of violence against others in my head. I haven't known how to handle it. I don't really know what to do. I listened to a guided meditation, I followed the breath, I tried to be in the now, tried many things but nothing. Just a black rollercoaster of pain and anger.

Like being washed out to sea in the middle of the night, hurled around by giant black waves, helpless.

I am not sure if I am saveable or if I really want to save me. I don't what I am.

I hate people, I just can't stand them. Their crazy manic faces, stuffing themselves with alcohol and food, crazed look in their eye. And their confidence. It's like waking up and you are part of the cockroach species. Except cockroaches don't take quite some much pleasure from destroying themselves and everything around them.

If you want to be a moral person -I am not sure what that means, but that you want to make an effort to do something- you are walking one way down a road and 7 billion people are walking the other way, gleefully rolling about in garbage. Mankind must be a mistake, didn't Nietsche say that. Worse than a mistake.

I can't bear my struggle with it all. Trying to make sense of it. Trying to live. Is there a point to it ? Nobody else is trying, but to give up and join the thronging mass of drunk, fat, stupid, unconscious, insane, inane outside, is a fate worse than death.

What am I trying to do ? What can I do ? This is just torture, being locked in a jail full of crazy people. It's hard to look a person in the eye - it's frightening.

Anyway, feel like I have totally lost everything today. I don't even know what I am trying to do, just have a lot of distress anger and pain.
I was proud, and I demanded the finest teacher
.. .. and when he appeared
.. .. .. .. I was so small
User avatar
rideforever
 
Posts: 1513
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 2:32 pm
Location: Hove

Re: Terrible Night

Postby Webwanderer » Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:14 pm

Nice post, and quite a rant. No doubt much of it even seems real to you.

rideforever wrote:I've been lost in storm of rage and anger, my whole body shaking in my bed, thoughts of violence against others in my head. I haven't known how to handle it. I don't really know what to do.

Understand, all of your suffering is of your own making. What to do is to make peace with what is. It doesn't matter who's wrong or right. What matters is letting go through making peace with what is. What's the point of hanging on to rage and anger when it only serves to hurt you.

Like being washed out to sea in the middle of the night, hurled around by giant black waves, helpless.

The night may be storming but it is you who causes the wind to blow and makes the waves. You are not helpless in the least, but it will seem so so long as you believe that to be the case. Again make peace with the storm. Such extreme emotionalism is fueled by your own judgment, resistance and anger. Take some breaths, lots of breaths, and find something - anything - to be thankful for. It's a far better feeling that will begin to quell those raging energies.

I am not sure if I am saveable or if I really want to save me.

The only reason you would consider your value in such a presumptively negative light is that you don't realize your own worth - and it is considerable. The thing is is that you have worth whether you suffer in agony or whether you live in joy. Neither is the measure of worth. They are only measures of the type of experience you have chosen whether consciously or by ego default.

I hate people, I just can't stand them.

I'm going to let you in on a secret. People are really cool when you see them clearly. What you hate is your vision of them. It's not likely that the people to whom you refer are actually the way you perceive them. But once you define them in the way you do, it becomes easier to maintain a hatred for you own straw man creations. (Sadly, Hitler depicted Jews in such a negative light that it became much easier for large part of the Germain population to hate and persecute them. Much the same thing is happening in many places of the world today.) Your own vision of people in general is not representative of the people themselves, but simply of how you've conditioned yourself to see them.

Understand, I'm not condemning you for your perceptions, I'm sure you have assigned good cause. What I'm suggesting is that this type of condemnation and judgment of others is not serving you if a more enjoyable life experience is what you want. Let go of your judgments, make peace with your experience, and you can take the first steps toward a more preferable life.

If you want to be a moral person -I am not sure what that means,

Good, it's best not to use that as a measure of worth. What it means to one may be totally different to another. Far better to understand your own true nature rather than hold some external litmus test through which to view others.

Mankind must be a mistake, didn't Nietsche say that. Worse than a mistake.

Far from a mistake, mankind is on the cutting edge of conscious expansion - and you are an integral part of it. That you don't see it at the moment is not relevant to the truth of it, but only to your experience of this unstoppable evolution of being. You are caught not in a storm upon the ocean, but in a fast flowing river of expansive growth in which your are fighting against the current, getting pummeled on the rocks of emotional correction, not realizing that it will take you to the promised land of clarity and joy if you only make peace with the way things are and go another direction - one with the flow of conscious evolution.

I can't bear my struggle with it all. Trying to make sense of it. Trying to live. Is there a point to it?

I see a point to it, but it's unlikely you will so long as you are certain that there is no point to it. Trying to make sense of that which is so wrongly judged is likely to prove fruitless. Until you get a much clearer perception of your own true nature, don't even try. It will just create more baggage that will ultimately have to be discarded.

Nobody else is trying, but to give up and join the thronging mass of drunk, fat, stupid, unconscious, insane, inane outside, is a fate worse than death.

A couple of things worth noting. First, 'nobody' covers a whole lot of people, and here you are on a forum full of people that are very interested in realizing their own true nature and becoming what they are capable of being. Many have put in a lot of years of effort in working through their misperceptions. (You are welcome to consciously join the budding movement toward awakening. You're part of it anyway.) Second, if you are faced with an either 'keep trying' or 'give up and become something worse than you already perceive yourself to be', it seems an easy choice. But then I'm not unnecessarily abusing myself over the judgments of the people I don't want to be like.

Look, forget what others do or don't do. Let them go, and make your own commitment to developing personal clarity. It probably won't happen over night, but it won't likely happen at all until you release your concerns about what others do. You have a great opportunity in life to see the truth - not as a raging, suffering, mind may characterize it, but as it is on its own terms. There is nothing you have done, nor has anyone done to you, that can keep you from your own awakening once you decide conclusively that no thing is going to keep you from it - not your own mental/emotional rantings, nor the apparent behavior or others.

What am I trying to do ? What can I do ? This is just torture, being locked in a jail full of crazy people. It's hard to look a person in the eye - it's frightening.


What you can do is start over. Wipe your perceptions, your world view, and your beliefs away and start with a clean slate (At least as best you can). What is the old saw? "The rest of your life starts today." Make it so. Make it a point to release judgment and anger the moment they arise. It doesn't matter if it's justified or not. It's a matter of adapting/adopting to a new, more functional relationship with life's experiences. Make it also a point to find ways, that is perspectives, in which you can appreciate moments throughout your day - everyday - from this day forward for the rest of your life. Seek out material: books, music, beauty, even pleasure, and feel appreciation. Make it your life's work to feel uplifted about life. Turn your ships rudder from its current course and hold to it. It will turn, and when it begins facing down stream with the current of life that you are a part of, you will discover a brand new experience of being that will make your time upstream all the more valuable for having lived it.

I'm not suggesting a Pollyanna approach, but a practical one that works for you, designed by you. This will in no way insulate you from more emotional challenges. But it will give you the practiced skills to make those trips into suffering less enduring and less important. Suspend negative judgment in all its forms - especially about yourself. Recognize your own inherent worth. You don't really get a choice on worth, so you might as well enjoy it. Your history is of no consequence in relation to worth. Why? It's simple really. You are not what you think you are. You are consciousness being. And 'Your' Source is Divine. That makes you, in essence Divine as well. You are an extension of the Being of the One Source - there is no Other. There is nothing you can do to make this not so. Get used to it - you'll really like the Energy of it when the truth of it dawns upon, and flows through, your unique awareness.

There is great love in the universe specifically for you. Enjoy.

WW
User avatar
Webwanderer
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 6308
Joined: Fri May 12, 2006 12:03 am

Re: Terrible Night

Postby smiileyjen101 » Tue Jun 26, 2012 1:56 am

That's a lovely thoughtful post ww.

I thought I'd 'move' this insight from another topic to here...

rideforever » Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:45 pm

Ervin wrote: Thoughts


Exactly !

By which I mean ... what you are doing is listing down your thoughts. But this is not you. And God is not a thought. When you meditate or practice you are trying to come out of thinking that you are your thought, so that you can explore what is really you.

You can think God is giant man with a beard flying in the sky.
You can think God is 4 giant turtles with the Earth on their back.
But it doesn't make any difference, because reality is just what it is.

Come out of identification with thought, and you can begin the journey. How to do that ? TPON is one way, and there are many.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com
User avatar
smiileyjen101
 
Posts: 3688
Joined: Wed Sep 22, 2010 3:44 am

Re: Terrible Night

Postby Donna » Tue Jun 26, 2012 5:51 pm

smiileyjen101 wrote:That's a lovely thoughtful post ww.

I thought I'd 'move' this insight from another topic to here...

rideforever » Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:45 pm

Ervin wrote: Thoughts


Exactly !


:D :D, Jen!

Love what WW wrote as well!
~*~*~*~* I love to live and live to love. *~*~*~*~
User avatar
Donna
 
Posts: 174
Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:04 am

Re: Terrible Night

Postby Yutso » Tue Jun 26, 2012 6:43 pm

rideforever writes in different thread to smiileyjen101, "much as I appreciate your approach, it is not one that can help me anymore----its life or death."

In this thread rideforever writes, "I can't bear my struggle with it all.....trying to live."

I feel scared when I read this. Want ridefoever to live, be happy.

I also feel like telling rideforever, "You check yourself into hospital. This sound in need of professional diagnosis and stabalization. Getting help is act of courage, not weakness."
Yutso
 
Posts: 294
Joined: Sat May 26, 2012 11:34 pm

Re: Terrible Night

Postby Midnight » Wed Jun 27, 2012 7:42 pm

Dude, there's nothing wrong with you. Humanity is a disease upon the planet. We serve no purpose. End of discussion. There's nothing wrong with trying to be a moral person, kudos to you if you have the courage to try.
User avatar
Midnight
 
Posts: 444
Joined: Wed Aug 11, 2010 2:47 pm
Location: London

Re: Terrible Night

Postby rideforever » Wed Jun 27, 2012 8:07 pm

Well it was a bad night.

I take it from your responses that you don't have nights like this. Yet.

I have felt reasonable since that night. But deep down I know that the more you see of life the more crazy it seems - and if you dont' see that it's just a matter of time. People really are crazy - outwardly anyway. It is because they are totally fragmented inside ... there is no-one home really. And really any advice that doesn't come from someone who looks totally shocked, who's hair has gone white with shock, and has a half-crazed manic expression on his face ... I am going to ignore. Because you just don't know - at least that's how it seems to me.

Like the priest at the church, he wants to smile and tell me a nice story and hold my hand. But he knows shit. I feel like tapping on his head to see if there is anything inside. No, he's a nice man and there are many 'nice' people. But they just don't know shit - at least that's how it seems to me.

I was thinking that anybody who gives advice, does not know anything. By definition. Because to even step forward to say anything only reveals a tremendous lack of exploration. You didn't look. You prefer talking to looking. They can say anything, use all the big spiritual words. But there is no-one home.

Often they are really earnestly trying to help you : but what they don't realise is that their 'advice' is a way for them to support their own insecurities ... they can sense deep down that their 'beliefs' are insecure so they want to talk about them. They want to tell you about them. Because they are not solid. They want to talk because they don't know.

Let me ask a question and look for the answer from the last person in the room to volunteer anything. From the person in the far corner who is silent. Person he will know something.

I'd like to believe that people know something, that their lives aren't a total fabrication - but really if their lives represent anything, that thing is not known to them.

Today, I was at work doing the thing, typing on the keyboard bla bla ... but I have flashes even at work ... of what it is. I find it so completely unbelievable like I have been in this giant fairytale understand of the 'world' and now I see it's all bullshit. What it is I don't know - but it is frightening.

Am I in a monstrous nightmare ? Is there a loving creator somewhere ?
I was proud, and I demanded the finest teacher
.. .. and when he appeared
.. .. .. .. I was so small
User avatar
rideforever
 
Posts: 1513
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 2:32 pm
Location: Hove

Re: Terrible Night

Postby rideforever » Wed Jun 27, 2012 9:49 pm

Yutso wrote:rideforever writes in different thread to smiileyjen101, "much as I appreciate your approach, it is not one that can help me anymore----its life or death."

In this thread rideforever writes, "I can't bear my struggle with it all.....trying to live."

I feel scared when I read this. Want ridefoever to live, be happy.

I also feel like telling rideforever, "You check yourself into hospital. This sound in need of professional diagnosis and stabalization. Getting help is act of courage, not weakness."

Hey man - I want rideforever to be happy too. Looking into the eye of existence is a scary thing. What the hell is going here ? What the hell am I doing here ? Did I do something wrong ? Am I in hell ? Heaven ? Why does it hurt ? Why am I confused ? How can I exist and be confused ? That one is a big question.

For what reason can I exist and also be in pain ? That's strange, isn't it ?

A hospital ? Do you know that in the UK the hospitals kill people, they are No4 on the mortality statistics after 1. Heart Disease, 2. Stroke, 3. Cancer, 4. Hospitals. Do you know that ? They kill people - by mistake all the time. And this is the "Health Service" ... do you see how insane everything is !!!!!

Sure I want to go and see an expert. Are there any experts on this planet ?!

Recently I have been thinking that I must be the expert because everyone else seems to know nothing - now that's scary, because I don't know anything either !

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
I was proud, and I demanded the finest teacher
.. .. and when he appeared
.. .. .. .. I was so small
User avatar
rideforever
 
Posts: 1513
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 2:32 pm
Location: Hove

Re: Terrible Night

Postby Webwanderer » Wed Jun 27, 2012 10:18 pm

rideforever wrote:deep down I know that the more you see of life the more crazy it seems - and if you dont' see that it's just a matter of time. People really are crazy - outwardly anyway. It is because they are totally fragmented inside ... there is no-one home really. And really any advice that doesn't come from someone who looks totally shocked, who's hair has gone white with shock, and has a half-crazed manic expression on his face ... I am going to ignore. Because you just don't know - at least that's how it seems to me.


Thanks for this. I haven't laughed this hard in some time - and I laugh a lot these days. For the record, I served in the Vietnam war and worked over 10 years in law enforcement, much of which time I was a homicide and child abuse investigator. I have seen a good deal of the blindness that humans are capable of. What I've seen up close and personal is far more shocking than what comes across the television. It's in your face and it's bloody real. But now, many years down the road of life, my time of seeing just the craziness has come and went. I now see that there is far more going on than meets the ego's eye.

Here's a valuable lesson I learned over the years. There is another side to life once you give up being right about your strongly held perspectives. But until then, when the inherent desire to be happy outweighs the need to be right, you will likely continue to suffer the emotional turmoils of misperception. Believe what you like about your unique ability to see what's wrong in life, and through those beliefs suffer the pain of your own angry outrage. Know however, that a better way of living exists -one whose perspective makes a fair amount of sense of it all. I wish you and midnight the best.

WW

ps: Apologies for my previous post in this thread. It seems it just pissed you off. It's not that what I wrote was untrue, it's more like the old saw that says: "when your up to your ass in alligators, it tough to remember you're there to drain the swamp." There's no magic pill for your situation. There's only a little bit of understanding.... then later maybe a bit more.
User avatar
Webwanderer
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 6308
Joined: Fri May 12, 2006 12:03 am

Re: Terrible Night

Postby Midnight » Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:36 pm

I am fully aware that my perspective that humanity is insane is only a perspective, the same could be said for Eckhart! I believe it whole heartedly. I don't need much more evidence than looking around the places in which I've lived my whole life. There is noone home! Everyones puffed up with self importance. They are all twats and morons the lot of 'em. Everyones saying that they are the most important thing. It's the nature of the mind, you only experience one perspective. It just so happens that this perspective is itself suffering!

Man, I don't dare give advice on here anymore. All I've been doing is asking questions. I don't know shit... like... I know barely anything at all. No, scratch that, I know humanity is pointless. Yes, I can be certain of that, it doesn't take a genious to work out that the planet would be in harmony if we had never existed, but sod it, we do.. oh well :lol:. God .. look at me I'm blabbering like autumnsphere or something.


I like you WW, but i'd like to know what your experience was. I mean hell... spirituality has sent me practically insane. Atleast it feels like I'm insane. I'd love to see how you'd write your messages if you'd reached the point I was at. It wouldn't be so encouraging that's for sure, but keep doing your thing.
User avatar
Midnight
 
Posts: 444
Joined: Wed Aug 11, 2010 2:47 pm
Location: London

Re: Terrible Night

Postby smiileyjen101 » Wed Jun 27, 2012 11:55 pm

rideforever you are right no one can tell you, so listen to yourself when you are being 'nice', loving, reason able.
what you are doing is listing down your thoughts. But this is not you. ...

Come out of identification with thought, and you can begin the journey. How to do that ? TPON is one way, and there are many.


If you look at the difference between this advice you gave Ervin and what you believe in panic, you may understand what ww has been trying to point out to you.

If you rankle and harden here breathe out... you're mis-taking something into you.

The state you were in on that night and other times was all FEAR - false emotions appearing real. You were dreaming your own nightmare.

You were 'down' on every thing and every one, fearing everything including yourself and your own thoughts as if they were real.

You take things outside of your own experience and judge them - people, situations, whole organisations and institutions.
You make enemy, obstacle, means to an end of every suggestion and every responder.

If you've read PON and even more so if you've read A New Earth you will understand this is what is not real. This is EGO speaking - this is little you cowering in fear, taking things personally as if your life depends on it.

This is not YOU.

If you are judging, this is ego.
If you are making an enemy of, this is ego.
If you are making an obstacle of, this is ego.
If you are making a means to an end or fear filled beliefs, this is ego.

Yes reality can be confronting. But we only confront it one moment at a time.
If we do this aware of ego and return to who we really are no thing is scary beyond the moment of realising it.

Hard, sure, confronting, sometimes, painful yes sometimes, pointless - never -- it's not ours to judge. In the moments that it's not confronting, painful or difficult it's serene and fun and joyous.
is You cannot 'fight' fear with more fear.

Only love is big enough to contain all in peace.

So again, listen to yourself when you are not taking things personally, when you are filtering your energy with love -
what you are doing is listing down your thoughts. But this is not you. ...

Come out of identification with thought, and you can begin the journey. How to do that ? TPON is one way, and there are many.


Apply it to yourself.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com
User avatar
smiileyjen101
 
Posts: 3688
Joined: Wed Sep 22, 2010 3:44 am

Re: Terrible Night

Postby Webwanderer » Thu Jun 28, 2012 12:56 am

Midnight wrote:I like you WW, but i'd like to know what your experience was. I mean hell... spirituality has sent me practically insane. Atleast it feels like I'm insane. I'd love to see how you'd write your messages if you'd reached the point I was at. It wouldn't be so encouraging that's for sure, but keep doing your thing.

My experience? Well, my father was the Dalai Lama and my mother was Mother Theresa. So I came from a good home with loving parents. There was occasionally a little minor discord over religious matters around the house growing up, but, as they were both away a lot on missionary work it rarely amounted to much.... :mrgreen:

Midnight, I doubt it was spirituality that 'sent you practically insane'. More likely it was a misunderstanding of how spirituality is present in our daily lives, whether we recognize it or not. Clearly aware people tend to struggle less, not more. It's pretty simple really. If you are having a difficult time you are not living in harmony, in the flow, in alignment, yada yada, with your essential nature.

This is not a crime however. It's simply part of a bigger picture that will work itself out in time. Seeing humankind as a disease however, is not likely to help your experience of life nor bring you the peace that is available with a more open perspective. No matter what your experience in life to date, there is always a path to greater clarity and a more enjoyable experience of being.

As far as 'reaching the point where you were at', understand that I spent plenty of my life agonizing over stuff I either created myself, or could do nothing about. Hell, I still do more than I care to experience. The thing is, that after many years, and many teachers, and much consideration, I can now recognize my own bullshit with ease. I find my irritations and righteous indignation's rather humorous once I step back and see them for what they are.

And the messages I write come more through feeling than thinking. When I sit at my computer to compose some offering to this or another forum, I relax into a clear state of awareness and feel a flow of understanding that I'm as much an observer of as I am an author to. I'm not trying to make a big deal out of it, like it's automatic writing or some such thing. I just see it as a natural evolution into clarity that is available to anyone who can get past their own stuff often enough and deeply enough to sense their own being. 'Time in the chair' brings a return to familiarity with what's always been.

WW
User avatar
Webwanderer
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 6308
Joined: Fri May 12, 2006 12:03 am

Re: Terrible Night

Postby Yutso » Thu Jun 28, 2012 1:57 am

"Complaining is one of the ego's favorite srategies for strengthening itself." E. Tolle

"A very common role (ego) is the role of victim." E. Tolle

ridefoever, have you read Tolles' chapter 3, The Core of Ego and chapter 4 about ego?

http://www.drjudithorloff.com/Free-Arti ... rvival.htm Do you see your own self (ego,pain-body) in any of these descriptions? Take heart. Ego, pain body not who you are though it sure can feel like it.

You say you want to be happy? I believe you. I also believe Tolle when he says that, "Whenever you are in a negative state, there is something in you that wants the negativity, that percieves it as pleasurable, or that believes it will get you want you want."
Last edited by Yutso on Thu Jun 28, 2012 6:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Yutso
 
Posts: 294
Joined: Sat May 26, 2012 11:34 pm

Re: Terrible Night

Postby rideforever » Thu Jun 28, 2012 10:04 am

Webwanderer wrote:Thanks for this. I haven't laughed this hard in some time - and I laugh a lot these days. For the record, I served in the Vietnam war and worked over 10 years in law enforcement, much of which time I was a homicide and child abuse investigator. I have seen a good deal of the blindness that humans are capable of. What I've seen up close and personal is far more shocking than what comes across the television. It's in your face and it's bloody real. But now, many years down the road of life, my time of seeing just the craziness has come and went. I now see that there is far more going on than meets the ego's eye.

Here's a valuable lesson I learned over the years. There is another side to life once you give up being right about your strongly held perspectives. But until then, when the inherent desire to be happy outweighs the need to be right, you will likely continue to suffer the emotional turmoils of misperception. Believe what you like about your unique ability to see what's wrong in life, and through those beliefs suffer the pain of your own angry outrage. Know however, that a better way of living exists -one whose perspective makes a fair amount of sense of it all. I wish you and midnight the best.

Hey man - it is not the acts of violence that are a problem - that's not it at all; perhaps you misunderstand.

What the problem is is the fragmentation on the inside of the mind. That is the frightening thing. That we half-exist. That we exist AND suffer. It is not what other people do - but what I AM.

Yes you have many nice sounding words. Great. Are they right ? You think you are the only one saying nice sounding words ?

The question is Are They Right ? Don't you see - I am looking for the Truth. If all I wanted was a pizza and go to bed then I would come to you and get one with everything on it. But that doesn't work for me - does it work for you ?

Believe me I have seen bad things too. And when I see them - I really see them.

Anyway - it was like a said a "Terrible Night". Nothing more. I tend to make a lot of people crazy by saying all kinds of things ... I am not sure what to make of myself - but you needn't get caught up in what I say should you prefer not to.
Last edited by rideforever on Thu Jun 28, 2012 11:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
I was proud, and I demanded the finest teacher
.. .. and when he appeared
.. .. .. .. I was so small
User avatar
rideforever
 
Posts: 1513
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 2:32 pm
Location: Hove

Re: Terrible Night

Postby rideforever » Thu Jun 28, 2012 10:08 am

Midnight wrote:I know humanity is pointless.

You do seem to have a lot of negativity. My experience is that the light is there at the end of the tunnel.

At some point you let go, open your heart fully to whatever comes. From what I have seen - deliverance does arrive.

And then perhaps humanity makes more sense. Each person is after all doing the best with what information they have been given.

And although society can be nasty and full of ugliness, it is not the only place to live. It was only when I walked into the Sivananda Ashram in Neyyar Dam in India and spent time at an Osho commune in Denmark, that I realised life could be different. Also, when I visited my beloved grandmother. Choose a nice place to be.
Last edited by rideforever on Thu Jun 28, 2012 10:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
I was proud, and I demanded the finest teacher
.. .. and when he appeared
.. .. .. .. I was so small
User avatar
rideforever
 
Posts: 1513
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 2:32 pm
Location: Hove

Next

Return to Personal Experiences

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest