i landed in a psychiatric ward

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i landed in a psychiatric ward

Postby kev42 » Wed Dec 26, 2012 9:38 pm

I started reading the 1st few chapters of the power of now back in aug. I went to bed thinking about what i had just read and that's when it happened.my real self separated from the false self.i could see my own thoughts and they were separate from me.the next day everything was different.nothing looked the same and knowledge started coming to me about how everything really works.the following morning i saw a eye in the clouds.as i was staring at it thinking how weird it was,a voice said"awaken my son". I started shaking all over and crying, it was like lightning was running through my veins.after that it got stronger and stronger over the coarse of the next 2 weeks.i started seeing everything bathed in a golden light and hearing voices in my head.the truth was more then my little brain could handle.it was like i plugged a low voltage appliance into high voltage.it ended with me going into a state where i could not feel my body.it was like i was outside of my body.I could still hear everyone but i could not move.my family took my to the hospital were they performed every medical test they could on me.in the end i got taken to the psychiatric ward where i spent the next 8 days.it took me 2 months to recover.now i am spending every day in the now and meditating.i am awakening up more slowly now.I would love to hear from anyone out there with any thoughts as to what happened to me.i am new here
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Re: i landed in a psychiatric ward

Postby far_eastofwest » Thu Dec 27, 2012 12:02 am

hi kev,
welcome
good to hear you are up and about and recovering
My guess is you had a nervous breakdown (but thats just a guess and you did ask) and probably a result of whatever was going on in your life that prompted you to read the book - others will naturally have different opinions.

Remember to take time to look after yourself and do some grounding type things everyday, ie, cook a meal from scratch (something that has a clearly discernable result), get some exercises etc.


:-)
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Re: i landed in a psychiatric ward

Postby Pennee101 » Fri Dec 28, 2012 5:36 am

Hi Kev:

I have a mental illness and what I have found throughout the years is I cannot let myself go overboard with anything, including spiritual things. I have to take baby steps just because my illness likes to take leaps and bounds. I've been to psychiatric hospitals several times in the past. No big deal. You get to hang around in your pajamas all day long if you want and you don't have to worry about anything but getting better.

I have said before on this board that the brain is an organism and subject to disruption just like other organisms are subject to disruptions. If they gave you medication then please do what the doctors tell you to do. It does not stop you from becoming aware or present at all. I think it helps me. My brain can tend to speed up too fast and I don't see how I would be able to practice ET's lessons if I didn't have something to slow it down at least initially. I am hoping that someday it will slow down by itself but that day doesn't have to be today.

The people here are very nice and wise. It's a good hangout. I read your other post about not having other people to talk to about these things. I don't either. I bet most of us don't because most people do not seem to be on this type of path. But that doesn't mean you can't follow the path.

You are fine and wonderful and I'm glad you're here.

Pennee
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Re: i landed in a psychiatric ward

Postby kev42 » Fri Dec 28, 2012 10:20 pm

thank you so much pennee.your posting made my day.its good to find others that understand
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Re: i landed in a psychiatric ward

Postby Mamaseeker » Sat Dec 29, 2012 7:35 pm

Hi kev42,
You are definitely not alone. Well, just yesterday I heard a lady talk about her awakening experience and it sounded so much like yours. I believe every individual's awakening experience is unique. That's what I was told at this 'Oneness University' awakening blessing that i went to yesterday. At the Oneness University, they believe everyone in the world will be awakened by 2035. They say its like a virus that is spreading. People who have been there vouch by their experiences, and all of it is spontaneous awakenings. They say that the date for everyone's awakening is already set before they enter this planet and an individual anywhere in the world can have this spontaneous awakening, and may not even realize that it was the experience of awakening that they went through.
Now, I'm very skeptical of such things. I truly don't believe it's possible to induce awakening in people. Yes, it can happen spontaneously but I don't believe that it's an infectious phenomenon like the Oneness University claims it to be. You can connect with the people there if you are interested though.
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Re: i landed in a psychiatric ward

Postby Sighclone » Tue Jan 01, 2013 7:42 am

Welcome kev42!

i am awakening up more slowly now.


There is no hurry. Are you still on meds? If so, please ask to have them gradually reduced if possible, and see how you do. Also ask to be monitored, even by those for whom nonduality is just a confusing word. Your parents and physicians care for you, and you do not need to frighten them. They may even test you by reducing the meds, then increasing them. Just slowly try to have them reduced, so long as you remain calm. I say this only to clear out any psychoactive chemicals.

Usually your experience is accompanied by psychoactive drugs, not just a cognitive experience in reading and thinking. I am so sorry you did not find this forum before you "tripped out." We have helped many people who were in this difficult period before they entered hospitals. We refer to it as "the disorientation." It is very common, though usually less intensive than yours.

In fact, I had a similar experience well over 40 years ago, but it involved an unknown street drug of an unknown dosage, and absolutely no grounding in nondual teachings. Yup - about a week on a psychiatric ward...until the drug wore off. Silly youthful me. And petrified parents.

I will post below a list of many highly qualified nondual psychotherapists, a large number of whom can work with you on Skype. Be prepared to pay their fee. This is not a specific endorsement of any of them, although I have met several personally.

We wish you well and hope you benefit from joining the forum!

Andy

* * * * *

I have no direct personal clinical experience as a client of any of these people, and none are endorsed. They appear below only because they have offered credentials in both nonduality and psychotherapy. I have spoken to many of them, however, either on the phone, online, or at the annual Science and Nonduality Conference in San Rafael.

The first seven counselors have all contributed essays to "Listening From the Heart of Silence." John Prendergast was the editor. You would do well to read that to help you decide whom to contact…also their first book, “The Sacred Mirror” These books are written for psychotherapists and their clients….very readable…deeply embedded in the nondual tradition.

Most of them belong to or are affiliated with the Nondual Wisdom and Psychotherapy Institute, here: http://wisdompsy.vpweb.com/default.html

1. Peter Fenner can be reached at 877-723-6463 and
http://www.radiantmind.net/index.php/ra ... d/contact/

2. John Prendergast can be reached at (USA) 415-453-8832 or johnprendergast@comcast.net.

3. Kenneth Bradford can be reached at (USA) 925-283-9377 or ken@bradfordphd.com.

4. Mariana Caplan can be reached at (USA) 415-320-5966 or realspirituality.com.

5. Timothy Conway can be reached at 805-564-2125 pr t.conway1@cox.net.

6. Dorothy Hunt can be reached through the San Francisco Center for Meditation and Psychotherapy at 415-567-8404, which is a page on her website: dorothyhunt.org.

7. Sheila Krystal can be reached at 510-540-0855, or shekrystal@aol.com.

8. Stephan Bodian can be reached at stephenbodian.org and 415-451-7133.


* * * * * * * * * *

Another fine nondual counselor is John Welwood at johnwelwood.com. (“Toward a Psychology of Awakening” and others) – well known to those above, also practicing in California.

* * * * * * * *

Chuck Hillig is still counseling, also, and his contact information is:

Chuck Hillig
540-972-3220 = Home & Fax
Skype Address = chuck.hillig
chuckhillig@yahoo.com = Email
www.chuckhillig.com = Personal
www.blackdotpubs.com = Books

* * * *

In Chicago:

Meghan Roekle, PsyD
312-217-3127
mroekle@gmail.com
North Suburban Family Psychologists
4433 Touhy Ave
Suite 500
Lincolnwood, IL

* * * *

Bonnie Greenwell, PhD specializes in the kundalini aspects of awakening – her website is: http://www.kundaliniguide.com/services.html


And Dr. Greg Goode can be reached through his website:

http://www.heartofnow.com/

He is the author of “Standing as Awareness” and has a practice in New York, but can work over the phone and other media.


There is also Dr. Michael Hall, website here: http://www.awakentotruth.com/

I saw a video of him speaking and was impressed…but, as for all the others, have no direct personal experience with them in a counseling capacity.
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce
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Re: i landed in a psychiatric ward

Postby TruthWithin » Tue Jan 01, 2013 8:41 am

Sounds a lot like Kundalini Awakening. I don't know much about it, but it is supposed to be a release of somewhat cosmic energy stored at the base of the spine. In mythology, it is often described as the snake coiled around your spine. This energy is supposed to have been stored up from the span of many lives.

This is actually quite common. A LOT of people go through this, and I always see it recommended to find an experience spiritual practitioner who has gone through it himself to help guide you through it. I highly recommend you google it, and find some resources on it. I have heard of one book that specifically deals with this issue, "Kundalini Rising: Exploring the Energy of Awakening" (but I have not read this book, nor have I gone through kundalini myself!).

A few things though:

1) I don't think you've gone through the full blast of kundalini rising. It is often called the dark night of the soul because it can be quite horrific and overpowering and reality bending. You might have just tasted a small drop of this energy, and the reserve remains stored within you.

2) This might not even be kundalini - it could be related to an undiagnosed mental condition, or something like that

3) No matter how profound this experience may be, please remember it is still an experience. In Zen, they would simply say this is "Makyo". It is not your final resting place, it is not the journey's end. Don't confuse it with who you are (eg some elevated "enlightened" ego). Move on, keep on with the practice.
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Re: i landed in a psychiatric ward

Postby kev42 » Wed Jan 02, 2013 1:38 am

Thanks for all the great replies.This has all been very disorientating for me,finding out the truth about who & what i really am has been quite the shock.My psychiatrist & everyone at the hospital have no idea what could have happened to me.I am 42 years old & have no previous or family history of mental illness.It all started literally over night.My wife still wont believe i had an awakening which has made this that much harder.I am glad to have found so many of you that understand
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Re: i landed in a psychiatric ward

Postby Sighclone » Wed Jan 02, 2013 7:21 am

Kev -

I do not know what to say to your wife. Fortunately mine was already very familiar with Advaita and Zen teachings and actually brought me Eckhart Tolle's first book. I did act a bit strange for a while, after a big breakthrough (mainly kind of a puppy-dog with excitement). The impact of your kensho will wear off, do not worry. Of course the recognition will never fade and will bring you great peace as it deepens.

Back to your wife: perhaps a good place for her to start is the free download new book from Adyshanti, here:

http://www.adyashanti.org/wayofliberation/

(The download link is about halfway down the page.)

This is a concentrated discussion about awakening, and how to do some meditative and cognitive practices to discover what you already know. I'm not saying I think your wife should do any of this, but it might assist you two in validating your experience. The psychiatrists should contact Dr. John Welwood or read his book "Toward a Psychology of Awakening." Or perhaps they should contact others on the big list above, to validate, in their minds, that something really life-changing could happen quickly.

Please let us know how else we can help.

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce
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Re: i landed in a psychiatric ward

Postby jan-sandahl » Wed Jan 02, 2013 11:22 pm

I really have none of the experience Sighclone presents, but nevertheless I´m convinced that there is absolutely nothing strange or weird about these experiences - just an unfamiliarity. Cut all the unhelpful jargon you encounter, keep it close to you and through that stay your own authority about what happened. Well, do listen to the people and things that resonates with you and don´t get lost in words and symbols. I´ll race you to the fullblown realisation. ;)
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Re: i landed in a psychiatric ward

Postby AnonyMouse » Thu Jan 03, 2013 6:39 am

kev42, I can't tell you what happened.. but I can recognize some of it
Overwhelming spiritual contact. Maybe total temporary collapse of the ego-identity. Or too rapid/strong awakening (shocking the ego-identity)

The clinical cynical psychiatry wants to label everything it does not understand and tries to remove/control it
And how far from spirituality is psychiatry?
Pretty far off

Trust your self (the true one that has no identity but just is) :D
Don't trust everything you experience, but trust that it is being seen/felt

Man, who am I to give advice hehe
But, you are not alone.. that's what I want to say
Well you are, but many are in the same boat. We all are actually
Eggs uses hens to become more eggs
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Re: i landed in a psychiatric ward

Postby Pennee101 » Sat Jan 05, 2013 2:49 pm

Sighclone wrote


There is no hurry. Are you still on meds? If so, please ask to have them gradually reduced if possible, and see how you do. Also ask to be monitored, even by those for whom nonduality is just a confusing word. Your parents and physicians care for you, and you do not need to frighten them. They may even test you by reducing the meds, then increasing them. Just slowly try to have them reduced, so long as you remain calm. I say this only to clear out any psychoactive chemicals.


Sighclone I love everything you say but there is one problem I have with this. I have not just ended up in psychiatric hospitals, I have ended up in jail. Mania has caused me to act out aggressively; to fight to act completely crazy and against the law. It is dangerous for a person like me to stop taking medications too soon. I have done it before only to bad consequences. I feel like if my family knew I stopped my medication they would call the police and have them on standby.

I understand that probably for most people it would work to not take the medications. But for people with my diagnosis and a couple others I think it would be dangerous. I actually see, when I am beginning to get a little manic I have a very high level of creativity and awareness and that is where many famous musicians and poets do their best work. But for me and unfortunately many others that point does not stay very long and it moves up into another more dangerous area. This is the only disease I know what you cannot allow yourself to be too happy. The happiness is different from the peace of being aware though. The peace of being away is actual peace. Manic happiness is manic and not peaceful but it is happy. I have had times when I could not stop laughing. I would find the leg of a chair funny.

But awareness is there for all of us I believe. Maybe not all of us are supposed to become aware in quick time. I don't know. All I know is I don't want anymore run ins with the cops because I already have a record and I got out of jail by the skin of my teeth. This time I don't know if I would be so lucky. So I take my medications.
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Re: i landed in a psychiatric ward

Postby Sighclone » Sun Jan 06, 2013 6:46 am

Thanks for the warning, Pennee. I tried to phrase that in such a way that I did not tell the patient to voluntarily stop using meds. I tried to put the responsibility on the prescribing medicial practioner ("to have them reduced" - i.e. to have the dosage droppped by the physician.)

All mental disorders are different to some degree. However, there are a large number of very similar symptom patterns, suggesting broad categories which appear as chapters in the DSM IV TR and the new DSM V. Kev42 had no history of disorder whatsoever according to his first post. Absent any history, physicians tend to look for "transient episodes." Are they always right? Of course not. However, should Kev42 be medicated for the rest of his life without testing lower dosages? I would hope not.

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
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Re: i landed in a psychiatric ward

Postby Pennee101 » Mon Jan 07, 2013 9:42 am

Sighclone wrote:Thanks for the warning, Pennee. I tried to phrase that in such a way that I did not tell the patient to voluntarily stop using meds. I tried to put the responsibility on the prescribing medicial practioner ("to have them reduced" - i.e. to have the dosage droppped by the physician.)

All mental disorders are different to some degree. However, there are a large number of very similar symptom patterns, suggesting broad categories which appear as chapters in the DSM IV TR and the new DSM V. Kev42 had no history of disorder whatsoever according to his first post. Absent any history, physicians tend to look for "transient episodes." Are they always right? Of course not. However, should Kev42 be medicated for the rest of his life without testing lower dosages? I would hope not.

Andy


Very good point.

Peace,

Pennee
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Re: i landed in a psychiatric ward

Postby Pako Chubi » Mon Apr 01, 2013 9:41 am

My friend, you have nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. You have seen God, Love, Truth. You have been in reality more than any doctor, parent, and probable friend you know. You are the enlightened being, you are the only and the one, the infinite light of consciousness, the observer+the experience, the voice+the speaker, space+inteligence. Awake, awake, awake, son of God. Create heaven on earth, cause you already are in both. Yin and yang are your instruments. You are the TAO
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