From Heaven to Hell. some help please

Here you may share how the words Eckhart Tolle have affected your life.

From Heaven to Hell. some help please

Postby Nick23 » Mon Jan 07, 2013 9:04 pm

Hello there. I m Nikos from greece i m 23. My english is really bad but id ont mind if you laugh i actually laugh too sometimes heh. ANyway i spent 3 years in a house after a scary accident with some friends of mine. A friend of mine and me survived from that accident the other 2 of our friends died in front of me. I stayed as i said 3 years in my house completely depressed and thinking. Before that accident i was one of the most happy kids ever social and everything. 5 years later at the moment i made some huge steps tried many things. Recently i found out about Tolle and power of now. Even after reading 4-5 pages till the " Watch the thinker " I GOT it. I looked around me and i closed me mind by paying attention 1-2 seconds THen i had a shock. I Run to the church next to my house and i cried without even thinking about it. It Dropped me " EGO " in seconds . It was like a dream. 5 Days in a row i was in my most calm and happy state. EVEN The world around me vibrating energy i saw my garden like i born this moment i stayed out at night watching nature i could feel it all over. I Figured out 2 times better what tolle said when watched those videos. I had stillness for 5 days. it magically removed my anxiety and depression and i didnt think before i do something i was on the moment. Even my ppl got shocked. Day 2 of my experience i had a " awakening crysis ". I thought i lost my self i TRIED in my panic to get anxious with purpose to return to my old me. Day 3 i realized that i was so lost in my mind all those years that this is my natural state like i was 17-18 years old and its nice.

ANyway after the 5 day MY Old stupid Fake Ego self return back. It took me over i got anxious cause i lost this amazing feeling and some days now i m trying to focus to the moment and i fail so much i cant do it again.
My head is thinking ALL THE TIME cause i know that this is my FAKE stupid Mind and not ME cause i lived the Real me 5 days in a row like heaven. I just wanted to share it if someone had any similar experience or some tip. Thank you so much.
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Re: From Heaven to Hell. some help please

Postby Mamaseeker » Mon Jan 07, 2013 9:43 pm

Sounds very similar to my experience. After watching many videos of E.T., Adyashanti, listening to Brahmananda swami of the chinmaya mission, and reading countless blogs on Advaita, non-duality stuff, I hade the same experience that lasted for about a week. Was pure bliss. Absolutely fearless! And then I came crashing down to reality-the ugly one, not the real "Reality". Is there a name for such a phenomenon? Many people are reporting such things. Calling it pseudo-awakening is very discouraging. You know. :?
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Re: From Heaven to Hell. some help please

Postby tod » Mon Jan 07, 2013 10:27 pm

You have had a normal experience for one that is aware Nikos.

Heaven is the natural state of the human when it no longer imagines it is confined to being someone located somewhere, ie mind identified. The experience seemed so wonderful as we are so used to (or conditioned into) being mind identified, and it is such a relief to be out of it (ie, mind)

You now know that you cannot really be defined (by mind), so don't be. Continue to recognise yourself.

And welcome to the forum.
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Re: From Heaven to Hell. some help please

Postby Nick23 » Mon Jan 07, 2013 10:36 pm

Thank you for the posts. I Can see huge differences for example those 5 days my body feeling was so light the most important my MIND too Like i m Empty. Now my mind is thinking again and its heavy . 5 days i sleept like 3-4 hours per day and wake up so easy which is "weird" for me. I didnt need so much sleep in those days and i had energy all over. Now i m back to my old unbelievable ugly fake ego and i sleep 10-12 hours i m depressed and i m trying all day to be Aware which is making me even more thinking. I hope i will get my real self again. I m trying to " watch the thinker" but its so hard some ppl say it works so nice when you become the witness and you no longer idendified with your mind.
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Re: From Heaven to Hell. some help please

Postby Mamaseeker » Tue Jan 08, 2013 12:58 am

The "watch the thinker" will take a lot of practice. It's not going to happen in a day, a week , or even a month perhaps. I'm having a hard time being in the "Now". Maybe it is going to be one long journey, or maybe I'll "get it" quicker. But I have set myself a path, and will not look backward. Even though people say there is no destination to be reached, or goals of enlightenment to be achieved, I'll still look forward to being at peace with myself and with the world someday. For me, it's going to be in the way of seeking and gaining knowledge of the Self. This may not be your path to self-realization. Each has to pave his own path towards it. Good luck!!
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Re: From Heaven to Hell. some help please

Postby Nick23 » Tue Jan 08, 2013 1:00 am

Mamaseeker wrote:The "watch the thinker" will take a lot of practice. It's not going to happen in a day, a week , or even a month perhaps. I'm having a hard time being in the "Now". Maybe it is going to be one long journey, or maybe I'll "get it" quicker. But I have set myself a path, and will not look backward. Even though people say there is no destination to be reached, or goals of enlightenment to be achieved, I'll still look forward to being at peace with myself and with the world someday. For me, it's going to be in the way of seeking and gaining knowledge of the Self. This may not be your path to self-realization. Each has to pave his own path towards it. Good luck!!


I will search it as well. To Live like those 5 days of mine is like miracle. I never thought what life was till i experienced it.
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Re: From Heaven to Hell. some help please

Postby kev42 » Tue Jan 08, 2013 3:47 am

I also had a similar experience back in august after reading "the power of now"Mine lasted 2 weeks & after I went back to the fake me I went into a terrible depression that lasted about a month.I could not be in the now no matter how hard I tried.I stopped trying so hard & let it happen naturally.Now its much easier.I meditate every day & spend most of every day in the now.I am waking up slowly now at a steady pace.
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Re: From Heaven to Hell. some help please

Postby MForell » Tue Jan 08, 2013 9:29 am

I also experienced the "panic" after few days, and the urge to force the old state back. Thats the ego. You are so familiar with it that it actually is the you, you are familiar with. Take it slow and give it time. Since its has happened to you once, it will never be forgotten, what has been seen. Who am i, is the first question, and its also the last. Give it time to sink in naturally and smoothly and dont make a big deal out of it. Just be yourself.
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Re: From Heaven to Hell. some help please

Postby MForell » Tue Jan 08, 2013 11:35 am

Mamaseeker wrote:The "watch the thinker" will take a lot of practice. It's not going to happen in a day, a week , or even a month perhaps. I'm having a hard time being in the "Now". Maybe it is going to be one long journey, or maybe I'll "get it" quicker. But I have set myself a path, and will not look backward. Even though people say there is no destination to be reached, or goals of enlightenment to be achieved, I'll still look forward to being at peace with myself and with the world someday. For me, it's going to be in the way of seeking and gaining knowledge of the Self. This may not be your path to self-realization. Each has to pave his own path towards it. Good luck!!


To me the "watch the thinker" happened spontaneously. No practice involved, just a realization.
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Re: From Heaven to Hell. some help please

Postby Mamaseeker » Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:45 pm

MForell wrote:
Mamaseeker wrote:The "watch the thinker" will take a lot of practice. It's not going to happen in a day, a week , or even a month perhaps. I'm having a hard time being in the "Now". Maybe it is going to be one long journey, or maybe I'll "get it" quicker. But I have set myself a path, and will not look backward. Even though people say there is no destination to be reached, or goals of enlightenment to be achieved, I'll still look forward to being at peace with myself and with the world someday. For me, it's going to be in the way of seeking and gaining knowledge of the Self. This may not be your path to self-realization. Each has to pave his own path towards it. Good luck!!


To me the "watch the thinker" happened spontaneously. No practice involved, just a realization.


I bet you are one of the lucky few!! Good for you! :)
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Re: From Heaven to Hell. some help please

Postby Nick23 » Tue Jan 08, 2013 7:42 pm

MForell wrote:
Mamaseeker wrote:The "watch the thinker" will take a lot of practice. It's not going to happen in a day, a week , or even a month perhaps. I'm having a hard time being in the "Now". Maybe it is going to be one long journey, or maybe I'll "get it" quicker. But I have set myself a path, and will not look backward. Even though people say there is no destination to be reached, or goals of enlightenment to be achieved, I'll still look forward to being at peace with myself and with the world someday. For me, it's going to be in the way of seeking and gaining knowledge of the Self. This may not be your path to self-realization. Each has to pave his own path towards it. Good luck!!


To me the "watch the thinker" happened spontaneously. No practice involved, just a realization.



Happy to hear that about you. its really nice yes. IT happened to me really funny i said while i read it for first time without even knowing about awakening and stuff. SO i lied down at night and i read it was kind of depressed cause i had a fight before with my sister. I was anxious not really good. The day was 25 Dec Christmas Night :). So i read watch the thinker and i didnt got the full meaning of it like be a witness and stuff i took it instantly. i Looked on an object or the wall and i said. LEts imagine that i dont have a mind and iw ill close it for 1-2 seconds. So i look and by paying attention without even knowing it. I feelt that my anxious and sadness gone for 1-2 seconds. Thats where i got the shock. Next day the world became more alive to me.

Sorry to ask you such a complicated question but how do you " manage" watching the thinker. Do you think anything specific to get your thoughts and not be identified with them? thank you
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Re: From Heaven to Hell. some help please

Postby MForell » Tue Jan 08, 2013 8:32 pm

I have no idea nick. Its still not stable but ongoing process and i have no control over it. It started as a realization that bacame a radical, personal "revolution". Im not trying to manage to do anything, on the contrary, its hard to resist it.
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Re: From Heaven to Hell. some help please

Postby Nick23 » Wed Jan 16, 2013 6:47 pm

I m more depressed than ever. After that amazing experience i m the same old fake stupid me... with fears and anxiety. I M more away from the present moment than ever.. i m trying to Watch the thinker but i fail a lot. I cant do anything to stop my mind racing and just be on the moment. My head is really heavy like i got rocks inside and its all of course cause of thinking. I got a sad feeling that i wont be able to be in the moment again in my life.
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Re: From Heaven to Hell. some help please

Postby Mental » Thu Jan 17, 2013 9:11 pm

Nick23 wrote:I m more depressed than ever. After that amazing experience i m the same old fake stupid me... with fears and anxiety. I M more away from the present moment than ever.. i m trying to Watch the thinker but i fail a lot. I cant do anything to stop my mind racing and just be on the moment. My head is really heavy like i got rocks inside and its all of course cause of thinking. I got a sad feeling that i wont be able to be in the moment again in my life.


Hey Nick I had the same experience as you except the timeframes were much larger. I was heavily anchored in the Now for 3 or 4 months and then was in a sad state from that time until about 4 days ago. Look at my post and read it all, it should help.

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=11207
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Re: From Heaven to Hell. some help please

Postby Nick23 » Sun Feb 17, 2013 6:42 pm

God I m crying again.. I thought i will never sense my natural state again after my awakening "loss" . I only cry 2 times in those years. 1 in my awakening. After all that suffering after " loss " of my 5 days of heaven when i awaken. I m HERE AGAIN. I m 1 day in heaven again god and this time if it leaves me i know how to get back HERE. THANK YOU SO MUCH PPL I cant describe my happiness. I thought i will never be peaceful again and trying and trying to do it but that was just taking me to the opposite direction. 2 things " saved " me and got me back to my natural heaven state. Its not as strong as my awakening days cause back then id idnt know wha thapppened to me. But the thinking is sooooo low now . 3 Things saved me as i said.

1) Those lines from the power of now that i never pay attention was the most powerful ones " Remove time and the ego will dissapear . Really DEEPLY realize that when future comes its NOW again and a little expirement i ve done . Move to a position with your hand up and put it down thats it The Moment when you had your Hand up Gone like a cloud. THERE ISnt past at this moment and no future. Surrender is powerful

2) Watching around my house without thinking labeling judging. This is what caused me to my first Awakening spontaneously. I couldnt shut my mind as i tried all those days to do it but i found a way that i m doing it now. Anybody who likes to hear it can pm me.

3) That book of Michael A singer. The untenthered soul. The first 2 chapters is so helpful.
It analyzes the Witnessing proccess in an amazing way to both chapters. I Never read anything more powerful in witnessing than this 2 chapters.

i m So happy!
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