How do I handle...

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How do I handle...

Postby Jcarter » Wed Mar 06, 2013 9:59 pm

It's been three weeks since I heard "the voice" tell me I had to stop drinking. I'm so glad I listened because I have never felt better! I go to bed happy , I wake up happy! I'm exercising every day and working on meditation.

So here's the question. How am I going to handle social situations where alcohol is involved? Believe me alcohol is ALWAYS involved. My friends and family know that I drink (or did drink I should say). I'm sure the first thing they will assume is I'm pregnant (that's not happening again in this lifetime LOL.). I feel like if I say it's for spiritual reasons they will assume I mean religious reasons (which I don't). I don't want anyone thinking that I'm judging them for drinking. I think some of my friends and family can tell I've changed, I don't want them to think I'm playing in new age mumbo jumbo. I know this may seem like a silly petty question but I really I'm not sure how to handle it. I know I will be fine socially without alcohol ( actually probably better off since I usually end up saying or doing something stupid when I drink). I just don't have a clue as to how to explain things to them. :( Maybe I shouldn't feel as though I need to explain myself?
Does anyone have any suggestions for something I can say so I don't have to continuously deal with the question. I want to be honest about working on my spirituality but I don't want to make people cringe either...
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Re: How do I handle...

Postby rideforever » Wed Mar 06, 2013 10:18 pm

Good question - congratulations by the way !

What does the voice say ??

One thing is instead of saying "I am not drinking" (which is a negative) say "I am DOING XXX" (which is a positive) ... that sounds much better and people don't feel you are judging them so much like that.

"I am getting myself in shape, might start doing the triathlon next year"
"Running in the morning so can't drink"

It might be good to avoid heavy drinking situations too.
I was proud, and I demanded the finest teacher
.. .. and when he appeared
.. .. .. .. I was so small
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Re: How do I handle...

Postby smiileyjen101 » Wed Mar 06, 2013 11:27 pm

Find some wonderful non-alcoholic beverages that you enjoy drinking so then if someone offers you a drink you can be completely honest and in the moment.
eg:
Other: Would you like a drink?
You: Yes I'd love a xyzmnaou please.
Other: Oh you not drinking?
You: Yes, I'd love a xyzmnaou
Other: No, I mean you not drinking alcohol?
You: No, thank you though, but no I'd really just love a xyzmnaou
(optional if it is someone you would like to share your longer term 'shift' with) I just don't feel good when I drink alcohol any more, I'm kinda over it.


Here's some really great ones you can usually find, request, or order at a bar
Orange juice and mineral water (or with tonic water is really refreshing)
Iced tea
Tomato juice (with or without worcester sauce)
Water with a squeeze of lemon or lime
Chocolate milk (or other flavours if you have them)

Treat any of the above or other drinks the same way you would in preparing and drinking and appreciating an alcoholic drink. A soda water in a wine glass is no different to bubbly wine, a juice mixer with ice in a glass and drunk slowly etc

The 'atmosphere' that we set up around things, the degree that we appreciate and place value on things 'determines' their social value.

I know of a pub where Chocolate Milk became one of their biggest sellers because the 'in' people started drinking them :D The barman would even joke about his 'embarrassment' === until he too had a nice cold chocolate milk!!

Honesty is the highest form of love. Creativity finds loving ways to answer the questions of others.

Probably the biggest fear anyone else will have will be that you will start nagging them about their drinking :wink:
,,,Don't :wink:
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com
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Re: How do I handle...

Postby Jcarter » Thu Mar 07, 2013 9:03 pm

Thanks for the advice. I think I'm just going to go with, "I don't like the way alcohol makes me feel anymore" because its the honest truth. Plus it doesn't really warrant any further explanation. :)
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Re: How do I handle...

Postby Webwanderer » Thu Mar 07, 2013 10:02 pm

Jcarter wrote:Thanks for the advice. I think I'm just going to go with, "I don't like the way alcohol makes me feel anymore" because its the honest truth. Plus it doesn't really warrant any further explanation. :)

Good choice. Keep it simple, keep it clear in your own perspective.

My years with marijuana went the same way. I simply no longer enjoyed the clouded perception it gave me after I gained more clarity through simple presence awareness.

WW
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Re: How do I handle...

Postby treasuretheday » Thu Mar 07, 2013 11:14 pm

I agree-the simpler the better. No explanation is necessary. It's nobody's business! If you want to share some info, fine, but I see no reason to go into a lot of details. I realize that questions come up regarding food & drink..."Why aren't you eating bread, having dessert, trying the deviled eggs? Aren't you eating meat these days?" I think a polite host makes things readily available then allows guests to choose what they prefer. A gracious guest is obligated only to say "Thank you."
Life itself is the proper binge.
-Julia Child
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