Practicing the Now

Here you may share how the words Eckhart Tolle have affected your life.

Practicing the Now

Postby PreYeah » Fri Mar 15, 2013 6:03 pm

I apologize if this seems a bit long, but it's about how I learned to let go (yes, I actually needed to be taught how to let go).

I was hired on contract for a Fortune 500 company. I was always grateful that I was able to be in a multinational company having just graduated from college with only a Bachelor's degree. My contract lasted for a year and my last day dawned. My manager said due to a certain policy, I may have to wait a while before getting rehired. This left me a little anxious because I knew that it wasn't because of my performance--Just company regulations.
After some months, when I was eligible to be re-hired, I contacted my coworkers. The department that I had been on was fully staffed, but another department in the same company had a position available--it was not the exact one that I had worked as but slightly different. Still, they felt it was worthy to have an interview with me. I was so happy! The first group of interviewers was nice. I expressed my desire and made it a point that they knew my strengths as well as weaknesses. I got the sense that they felt comfortable with me. But when it came to the second group, I felt a little demoralized when a leading manager said that he would like somebody with more experience, but they will definitely consider me. I felt discouraged, and a little cheated that all this was done for something that they knew all along through my resume.

When I came home, it took me an hour to finally overcome my negativity. I finally realized that I wanted to just live in the present and hope for the future. Not expect, but just to hope. I kept envisioning my interviewers in a conference room telling each other how much they loved me. As for the interviewer that instigated me to feel dejected, I kept telling myself that at least he was honest with me -- he wants the best for everyone, he must be a good manager to be upfront and honest. I tried to convert my negative thoughts into positive feelings. I decided that I did not want to lose sight of being grateful that I had the chance to interview and that they took the time out for me. I also decided that Friday--before the weekend--I could make their last day of the week a little special by writing them thank-you emails.

A week went by, but I didn't get the job. It was transferred to another branch. It was now already more than 3 months since my job, and I tried to not think of my expenses. What I did do instead was to not fight my situation. I applied everywhere but got no responses, yet I did not let this defeat me. I made sure that I was not going to derive my identity from this life situation. I learned to live in the Now. I saw movies, tried new recipes. I did these not to forget my problems but because I truly enjoyed doing it. I wanted to add meaning to my life even though I wasn't sure what the future would bring.

Eventually, I started to consider grad school, and then also made a list of other apartments in the area that would ease my expenses. Although I would much rather have continued to work, I put my whole heart and soul into the research of universities and apartments. I didn't label the situation as good or bad. I just surrendered to it. Then, the very day that I was to visit the leasing office of one of the apartments, I had an impulse to look at the job postings of the company. I made sure that I was not doing this out of obsessive compulsion, but just for curiosity. And what do you know?! They had the very position that I worked as, and it was at the same branch, just with a different team! I immediately contacted some of my colleagues, and an interview was set up that very week.

I felt like this job opening, which had opened over-night, was made for me. The strangest thing was that though I was grateful, I wasn't ecstatic. That's not to say I wasn't happy but I learned a very important lesson in this God-given time-off: To never seek my identity in my wants and desires, and I realized that in this entire time I was already happy to begin with because I did not rely on a certain situation or outcome. The interview was to be in a few days. I planned on what needed to be done, and I left it at that. I did not play mental movies in my mind about how it would go. I felt like I didn't want to cheat this present moment by living in and for the future.

The day of the interview came--it was a Friday afternoon. Before I left, I had this thought of how funny it would be if they were to offer me the job the same day (since my previous ones took a month or so to get back to me). I didn't think anything much of it, and headed out. I realized that during the interview, I did not try and make a goal out of it. Instead, I just enjoyed and honored the time that my interviewers took out for me. I didn't let myself be bogged down over whether they would like me or not, or if they would bother interviewing other candidates, or if they would choose somebody else with more experience. My interviewers were both very nice and jovial. I felt very at-ease and enjoyed the conversation and questions we had for each other. It all only took 30 minutes.

I came home, and since it was now Friday evening, I already had my mind set on what I would have for dinner. I looked at my phone for the time, and noticed I had a missed call. I realized the area code--it was a local call--and played the voice mail. It was a member from HR telling me I got the job! Within just a few minutes of leaving! They even said they had seen me walk out of the building to go home, but decided to surprise me instead, and to let me know so I could celebrate over the weekend. And truly, they did make my weekend special (just as how I had set to make my previous interviewers' weekend when I sent them the thank-you email).

What goes around really does come around. Give the best to get the best! It's always between you and the Universe. It's all in your control.

I learned that it works best when you let yourself be, and not obsessing over it by seeking the "aha" moment. The LOA is effortless, and when you are doing things that bring you true joy and peace, you are effortlessly being yourself, and aligned with the Universe to get what you truly want--I know now in hindsight, that it was a good thing that the first position I had interviewed for was transferred to a different branch because I had a gut feeling it may not be something that would have come to me effortlessly in the time that was needed. Instead, I got a job that I had experience in and that I truly enjoyed, at the same great company and I don't have to relocate! I feel like I'm going with the flow of life because I surrendered to my situation and did not resist it.

I used to be in high anxiety constantly worrying and obsessing about the future, and this would always clutter my thoughts. In other words, I couldn't let go to receive from the Universe.

I feel like I won't ever fret about my dreams. People who don't trust will always feel insecure about life and the future. Like Tolle says, anchor yourself in the present and live in the Now. Make friends and peace with this moment and the future will ultimately be just that -- friendly and warm.
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Re: Practicing the Now

Postby Webwanderer » Fri Mar 15, 2013 7:04 pm

Great story. Congratulations on staying true to your Self. Thanks for sharing. LoA rules. :D

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Re: Practicing the Now

Postby PreYeah » Fri Mar 15, 2013 10:28 pm

Thank you, WW :")

I also wanted to mention that I combined Tolle's teachings with what I learned from this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxBd-1lItKk It may help others who are like me and are too stubborn to let go.

O, and speaking of job interviews, it seems that Tolle's teachings could also be applied to "science". I was watching this on TEDTalks and it just gave me goosebumps (for anyone who is interested):

http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html
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Re: Practicing the Now

Postby smiileyjen101 » Fri Mar 15, 2013 11:39 pm

Nice one Preyeah, you've explained it very well by example, thank you for sharing.

Isn't it interesting how different wisdoms can be seen in it - my Granny used to say 'what's for you won't go by you', so if something didn't work out how you expected, it was the expectation that was in error, not the reality. But very nice that you let go and enjoyed your time off for awhile.

It also reminded me of the four agreements (which I'm reading a lot lately - wonderful book)
If you are
impeccable with your word
if you don't take anything personally
if you don't make assumptions
and always do your best
you are going to have a beautiful life.

Don Miguel Ruiz the Four Agreements.


It will interesting for you going back into work with gratitude and generosity of spirit too.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com
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Re: Practicing the Now

Postby khometmibro » Mon Apr 08, 2013 9:38 am

Thanks for this story! Kinda helped me a bit.
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