SandyJoy wrote:Okay, that's the best I can do with trying to explain it again. Thanks for the challenge of "my word and your word are not the same word, but they are spelled the same" ---
SandyJoy, I understand what you mean by "game". It is very real. Yes very real. The good, the bad, the beautiful and ugly. It is LIFE. It is only a "game" in so far, perhaps, best with language to describe how we (as the Child/Essence/One) all interact in this world.
The fear/discomfort comes from a question of more "What am I supposed to do?" as rideforever suggested. Perhaps, even "how?". If we are all playing a checkers "game", I understand that some of us will be throwing pieces at each other. This hurt players who have yet to be awaken especially when being thrown at. Also, I understand the unlimited possibilities of play that would not hurt the game players.
Deep down, the Child in me am aware that I am to venture back into the game. That has always been clear but I have yet to fully understand why. That answer may or may not come. It doesn't matter. Yet, I am equally aware that my connection to the inner spirit is not "strong enough" yet. There is an ego in me that dissipates and regroup. Giving it a good try. It isn't as strong as before, quiet when my awareness is strong. It does come around when least expected. Yet, when I am aware and be in total surrender, my connection brightens again instantly. It is this fluctuation I am in.