I am one step closer to enlightenment

Here you may share how the words Eckhart Tolle have affected your life.

I am one step closer to enlightenment

Postby Clouded » Sat Sep 07, 2013 6:35 am

Just thought i'd share a personal story about what happened today. I was driving to a new location and my mother was in the passenger seat next to me, giving me indications from a map. When she told me to turn left, I continued to drive straight ahead and then I realized that I missed the turn. My mom was then shouting at my ear "TURN LEFT! WHY DIDN'T YOU TURN LEFT! YOU SHOULD'VE TURNED LEFT! NOW WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! GO BACK!." And all this time, I kept my cool. I felt no anger towards her even though she was screaming from the top of her lungs at me. All I said was "ok, I'll go back." in a calm, monotone voice while she made remarks about me and my inability to follow verbal directions. She was so furious at me because I didn't turn left but I chose to not emotionally invest myself in such a silly, unnecessary argument. I'm glad I didn't react the same way as she did. One thing I learned (interpreted) from Tolle is just let people get angry at you, let them say what they think about you, don't try to defend yourself, whatever you say, you're never going to change their minds, so what's the point of arguing with them? Let them believe they're right. At the end of the day, you are the "champion" of this conflict because you are the one who didn't experience negative feelings. :)
Last edited by Clouded on Sat Sep 07, 2013 6:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
"If you want to know what your were like in the past, look at your body today. If you want to know what your body will be like in the future, look at your thoughts today." -Deepak
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Re: I am one step closer to enlightenment

Postby tod » Sat Sep 07, 2013 6:52 am

Great to hear Cloud :). Well done.
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Re: I am one step closer to enlightenment

Postby Clouded » Sat Sep 07, 2013 6:58 am

Thank you!! :D I always feel excited when people respond to me. Hopefully this new attitude of mine is going to stay.
"If you want to know what your were like in the past, look at your body today. If you want to know what your body will be like in the future, look at your thoughts today." -Deepak
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Re: I am one step closer to enlightenment

Postby tod » Sat Sep 07, 2013 7:09 am

Soon you might see yourself as the Sky instead of the Cloud :). Don't think about this too much, it's just a metaphor.

I think perhaps you saw today an example of what it is like to be (yourself) and not to react (to someone else's emotion).
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Re: I am one step closer to enlightenment

Postby Clouded » Sat Sep 07, 2013 8:06 am

Haha, my username was meant to be a metaphor from the start. The way I saw it, my ego (clouds) is covering the truth (sun) from me. Once I get rid of these clouds, I will see the sun and become enlighten (lol see what I did there?). I couldn't help but analyzing the meaning behind your metaphor. The sky is endless, there is no apparent beginning and end, the sky never ceases to exist, while clouds have their physical limitations and they fade away with time. So the REAL me is not limited by identifications with form which are subject to change, I am so much more than that, I am an ever lasting conscious. If that's true, then I prefer your metaphore. :P
"If you want to know what your were like in the past, look at your body today. If you want to know what your body will be like in the future, look at your thoughts today." -Deepak
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Re: I am one step closer to enlightenment

Postby tod » Sat Sep 07, 2013 8:29 am

Clouded wrote:Haha, my username was meant to be a metaphor from the start. The way I saw it, my ego (clouds) is covering the truth (sun) from me. Once I get rid of these clouds, I will see the sun and become enlighten (lol see what I did there?). I couldn't help but analyzing the meaning behind your metaphor. The sky is endless, there is no apparent beginning and end, the sky never ceases to exist, while clouds have their physical limitations and they fade away with time. So the REAL me is not limited by identifications with form which are subject to change, I am so much more than that, I am an ever lasting conscious. If that's true, then I prefer your metaphore. :P


Wow, you are on fire today C (thinking of your metaphor of the sun perhaps :)).

If you like to think of yourself as a cloud at least make it a light fluffy one, not one of those heavy dark clouds that are hard to move :).

Do you notice that anytime we talk about ourself it is always a metaphor. IOW, in terms of what we are not.
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Re: I am one step closer to enlightenment

Postby Clouded » Sat Sep 07, 2013 9:42 am

Thanks T! Not to disappoint, but at this stage of my life, I still consider myself a dark & heavy cloud. :( But on the bright side, at least I'm no longer raining or releasing lightning bolts everywhere I go. :) I remember Echkart saying that no amount of words can never express what a thing is in its Being. They're all interpretations, metaphors I guess. I think it's funny and sad to know to what extent "words" can affect people. They're not even tangible or measurable yet they can cause so much emotional damage to someone. Idk why but this reminded me of a TV advertisement I saw years ago. It portrayed family going on a car trip and they were happily singing along to a song that was on the radio whose lyrics were in a different language from theirs. The lyrics were translated as subtitles and the tv viewer could see that those were profanity words. It was hilarious because even the children in the backseat were singing to it. Guess they really liked the rhythm?
"If you want to know what your were like in the past, look at your body today. If you want to know what your body will be like in the future, look at your thoughts today." -Deepak
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Re: I am one step closer to enlightenment

Postby tod » Sat Sep 07, 2013 10:10 am

Clouded wrote:Not to disappoint, but at this stage of my life, I still consider myself a dark & heavy cloud. :( But on the bright side, at least I'm no longer raining or releasing lightning bolts everywhere I go. :)


I just watched an Abraham video that you may appreciate. It is about creating positive momentum. Perhaps reflect (only very briefly) on the type of momentum that you have been creating, or have allowed to be created, and then focus on the type of momentum you really want.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dE_gwi7b6p4
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Re: I am one step closer to enlightenment

Postby randomguy » Sat Sep 07, 2013 6:27 pm

I think it's funny and sad to know to what extent "words" can affect people.

Me too. There really is no need to accept words and ideas as true.
Do the yellow-rose petals
tremble and fall
at the rapid's roar?
- Basho
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Re: I am one step closer to enlightenment

Postby Clouded » Sun Sep 08, 2013 1:35 am

My momentums mainly arise from negative thoughts. Are you suggesting that I transform those negative thoughts into positive ones when the negative momentum is weak so I'll lose that momentum more quickly? I have an awful tendency to create vivid scenarios in my mind where I am having an argument with real people who I dislike at the moment (aka: my parents). Sometimes I stay up very late at night pacing in my room, thinking of what I should say next to them in my imagination so I'll know exactly what to say when the argument actually happens between us. The words my parents verbally identify me with (insane, idiot, lazy, up to no good, etc) don't have such an impact on me anymore because who are THEY to judge me? They're not God or some righteous supreme being. These words used to hurt me a lot because they came from my parents, and they're supposed to support me, not shame me or try to change me. When I decided to drop out from uni, my dad suggest that I go see a psychiatrist because he thinks I'm losing it. I must be mentally insane to drop out, he thinks there's something wrong with me. I concluded that even though I love my parents and I want them to be happy for me, my relationship with them is very toxic to me. I should do things to make MYSELF happy, not to let my parents mold me into becoming what they want me to be so that THEY will be happy. This is not how life is supposed to work! I no longer care if they think I'm being rebellious (this has such a negative connotation!), i'm just trying to make myself happy. Sorry for babbling on about my parents, it's the biggest struggle in my life.
"If you want to know what your were like in the past, look at your body today. If you want to know what your body will be like in the future, look at your thoughts today." -Deepak
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Re: I am one step closer to enlightenment

Postby tod » Sun Sep 08, 2013 2:54 am

Cloud, if it helps to talk about your parents here by all means do so.

In my understanding, you are taking steps to move out of the house and so in the meantime I see no necessity to engage with your parents at all, other than yes sir no sir three bags full sir. IOW, the barest respectful communication to get you though the intervening period. You have more or less acknowledged that there is a complete communication breakdown between you, and as seen here nothing short of professional facilitation between you can hope to improve this in the short term. Is this how you see it?

As to your propensity for negativity. This is understandable in your situation, and I think you are doing as well as could be expected within the environment you are in. Abraham talk of going general when in the throes of negativity as going positive is too much of a jump. My understanding of going general is moving attention, perhaps gradually and tenderly, to 'a more broad field' away from the tight confinement and low vibration of heavy negative momentum.

I am not specifically advocating Abraham. unless it 'speaks to you'. I have not delved into it that much and I think people can easily get sidetracked by all the talk of 'manifesting' that is evident. I have found Byron Katies 'The Work' helpful on 'the truth of thoughts', and the message about presence given by Leonard Jacobson in his videos. Both of these appear quite simple messages to me, and could well be helpful to you, but I realise that your mileage may vary and that you may well feel you need to find your own way.

With best wishes,
Gray
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Re: I am one step closer to enlightenment

Postby Clouded » Sun Sep 08, 2013 8:15 am

Thanks again for being here for me. There's no use in trying to communicate my thoughts and feelings to my parents anymore. They'd rather send me to a psychologist rather than personally deal with me and settle this matter between us. As if I'M the one who needs help. It's to THEM that I want to talk, not to some stranger who is after my money, but no matter how hard I try, they refuse to even listen to me. All I get in return is more negative judgment about how a dissapointment I turned out to be and comparisions with other (successful mind you) people my age or they shut down and ignore me completely by turning up the tv volume and whatnot. I can't help but to get irritated at them, I'm better off talking to a wall. One time I got so angry that I kicked a wall and it made a hole and so I panicked and tried to cover it up. Sometimes, their answers leave me so speechless, I can't believe that I, who was once an innocent and happy child, was raised by people who think like that. I used to be beaten up a lot and their excuse for it is that ALL children get beaten by their parents! Smh. Sometimes I think I am wiser than they'll ever be, is that also my ego talking? I'll look into the names you mentioned. My journey to enlightment is a long and painful one, you definitely seem closer to it than I do. I think that most people my age are out there partying, dating and studying and here I am trying to understand my life on this earth. If feels as though I've seen everything and now I'm asking myself what the heck am I doing with my life? To be honest, all this vibrational/third eye stuff is spooky but also fascinating to me. Part of me does not want people to know what kind of energy I am sending. I used to have this issue with people looking into my eyes and me looking back at theirs. I don't want people to read my soul, I don't want to expose myself to them if that makes sense.
"If you want to know what your were like in the past, look at your body today. If you want to know what your body will be like in the future, look at your thoughts today." -Deepak
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Re: I am one step closer to enlightenment

Postby tod » Mon Sep 09, 2013 12:45 am

Clouded wrote:Thanks again for being here for me. There's no use in trying to communicate my thoughts and feelings to my parents anymore. They'd rather send me to a psychologist rather than personally deal with me and settle this matter between us. As if I'M the one who needs help. It's to THEM that I want to talk, not to some stranger who is after my money, but no matter how hard I try, they refuse to even listen to me. All I get in return is more negative judgment about how a dissapointment I turned out to be and comparisions with other (successful mind you) people my age or they shut down and ignore me completely by turning up the tv volume and whatnot. I can't help but to get irritated at them, I'm better off talking to a wall. One time I got so angry that I kicked a wall and it made a hole and so I panicked and tried to cover it up. Sometimes, their answers leave me so speechless, I can't believe that I, who was once an innocent and happy child, was raised by people who think like that. I used to be beaten up a lot and their excuse for it is that ALL children get beaten by their parents! Smh. Sometimes I think I am wiser than they'll ever be, is that also my ego talking? I'll look into the names you mentioned. My journey to enlightment is a long and painful one, you definitely seem closer to it than I do. I think that most people my age are out there partying, dating and studying and here I am trying to understand my life on this earth. If feels as though I've seen everything and now I'm asking myself what the heck am I doing with my life? To be honest, all this vibrational/third eye stuff is spooky but also fascinating to me. Part of me does not want people to know what kind of energy I am sending. I used to have this issue with people looking into my eyes and me looking back at theirs. I don't want people to read my soul, I don't want to expose myself to them if that makes sense.


Cloud, I note that you did not specifically answer the question in my previous post. Care to readdress it?

I also wonder, how are you 'filling your days' at present?

I know Karmarider, in another thread asked something about participating in social group(s), and you said something about looking into this. How's that going?

From here, you appear to be 'getting all your entertainment' from relating to your parents, and that 'entertainment' does not appear all that healthy as seen from here.

I used to have this issue with people looking into my eyes and me looking back at theirs. I don't want people to read my soul, I don't want to expose myself to them if that makes sense.


No, it does not. Looking into peoples eyes is wonderful. There is nothing there, no barrier, no boundary, just openness, wonder, love, joy. If you see something there, it is a self reflection.
--
I note that you are 'putting all the blame' on your parents at present. This is understandable, but overly 'wallowing' in it is not. I think it would be helpful if you could acknowledge that you need to find a path to move beyond this. Do you want to focus on practical steps on this path?
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Re: I am one step closer to enlightenment

Postby Clouded » Mon Sep 09, 2013 1:40 am

To be honest, I didn't understand your question and felt embarrassed to let you know (still ego binded). I'm aware that I don't have that big of an English vocabulary, I don't use that language very often so I tried googling some of those words for a definition and I still didn't understand. I didn't ignore your question, I just hoped that my last reply gave you an answer for it and clearly it didn't. Can you please rephrase your question for me? Sorry for giving such a long excuse. I found a yoga and meditation group as well as an emotional freedom techniques group in my area which interest me, only problem is that the meetings are in October. In the meantime, I go out of town and spend my time at a book store in the inner-growth section. I read both of Eckhart's books and now I'm reading a book about the Sedona Method. This is the closest thing I have to peace; knowing/being reminded that there is a way out of struggle. I believe that both me and my parents are to blame but it is easier to say that I hate my parents than I hate myself. Last time I hated myself, I wanted to kill myself. After all, only I am responsible for my thoughts and emotions. Yeah, I'd like to deal with this in a more practical way because my way is getting me nowhere.
"If you want to know what your were like in the past, look at your body today. If you want to know what your body will be like in the future, look at your thoughts today." -Deepak
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Re: I am one step closer to enlightenment

Postby tod » Mon Sep 09, 2013 4:06 am

Clouded wrote:To be honest, I didn't understand your question and felt embarrassed to let you know (still ego binded). I'm aware that I don't have that big of an English vocabulary, I don't use that language very often so I tried googling some of those words for a definition and I still didn't understand. I didn't ignore your question, I just hoped that my last reply gave you an answer for it and clearly it didn't. Can you please rephrase your question for me? Sorry for giving such a long excuse.


Wow! So you do not live in an English speaking country? I had no idea that you were not a native English speaker, as your sentence structure and spelling is excellent. You only appeared to not reply to some of the points that I was making, but I did not know that that was a matter of the language. May I suggest that you 'have a go' at answering what I wrote, and write, making guesses where necessary. I think one of your life difficulties may be that you are trying to appear 'too perfect', and that writing English may be an example of this. I am sure that if you make mistakes, no one will mind, except you perhaps :).

I found a yoga and meditation group as well as an emotional freedom techniques group in my area which interest me, only problem is that the meetings are in October. In the meantime, I go out of town and spend my time at a book store in the inner-growth section.


Good. I think an important practical step for you is to get out of the house as much as possible and converse with other people.

I read both of Eckhart's books and now I'm reading a book about the Sedona Method. This is the closest thing I have to peace; knowing/being reminded that there is a way out of struggle.


I do not know anything about the Sedona Method.
I believe that both me and my parents are to blame but it is easier to say that I hate my parents than I hate myself. Last time I hated myself, I wanted to kill myself. After all, only I am responsible for my thoughts and emotions.


Well... remember that thoughts and emotions do not really define you as you are essentially indefinable. Identifying anything or anyone as responsible is not seeing the infinite interconnectedness (indira's net) - the interdependence and interpenetration of all phenomena.

Yeah, I'd like to deal with this in a more practical way because my way is getting me nowhere.


Ok, for starters, get out of the house and meet and talk with people as much as possible. More social groups? Also voluntary work? Apply for any other jobs? See if your local job centre offer any courses on 'making yourself more employable' or can suggest jobs you may like to apply for or information on other work fields that you maybe had not thought about and upon reflection may look interesting to you?

The aim, as I see it, is to make you feel more connected (Indira's net again) and to generate more excitement through interacting or being involved with other people. Nothing like positive experience to get that going :).

So a need to focus on the positive, or, more probable in your case, to starve what was, is, or shows up as negative by not feeding it. Let this be your practice - not to feed 'those gloomy animals'. You will need to be as mindful as possible of this. Ok?

Mindfulness is fun. You get to catch yourself the moment you start falling into one of those gloomy potholes. And if you fall in you get out as soon as you notice this; as they say, fall down 7 times, get up 8.

So the mantra is: get with people and be mindful. How's that sound?
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