Bad Mood - Pain-body Looking for Trouble

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Bad Mood - Pain-body Looking for Trouble

Postby barbarasher » Sun Apr 03, 2005 9:52 am

OK, I am in a really bad/sad mood right now. But I know that I don't really have any real problems. My mind is looking for something to blame it on. But I know that its probabably PMS or just the pain body or me or whatever.

I am telling myself,"if you get mad at anybody now don't say anything 'cause its not them and I'll be sorry later".

This awareness is new.

The feeling is still real though.

Any suggestions. I am going to try to hold out the whole day without arguing with anybody, even though my husband already got a bit.

Help. I don't like the feeling but there is progress. I feel like my mind is like a big bumble bee looking to land on a flower and blame it and make it problem. I am trying to keep it flying.
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Postby heidi » Sun Apr 03, 2005 4:45 pm

Ahhh, I just wrote this whole thing, and it disappeared! Arghhh.

So, in a nutshell - I recommended that you don't judge it and forgive it (ignore it) and it'll calm down like a naughty kid :)

Delving into a creative process will take you away from it. In fact, you could keep coming up with those similes, "...my mind is like a big bumble bee looking to land on a flower and blame it and make it problem." and you'll probably end up laughing - and likely produced a good poem.

Thank you for bringing your humanity to this forum. Today - actually last night - I decided to turn over a new leaf and treat my body better. So, now I will do it with presence and leave my ego out of it, don't obsess - just be. A challenge! But wait a minute - if I think of it as a challenge it will surely be one.

The thing I know deeply at the core, and what is the basis of the idea that we create our own reality, is that the presence that is creation is all fulfilling. There is no good or bad, there is manifested what we manifest in both our hearts and minds. So, if we decide we don't have enough or need to get healthy - then that need, not the health - is manifested. So, in my decision to upgrade, it is with this knowledge of fulfillment. Hope this makes sense to you. :)
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Postby Triple T » Sun Apr 03, 2005 5:50 pm

heidi wrote:So, in a nutshell - I recommended that you don't judge it and forgive it (ignore it) and it'll calm down like a naughty kid :)


Heidi, is this the acceptance part of not resisting what is? I know when I get irritable or moody, there is this internal dialogue that judges - as in
"This is not 'spiritual'. I am not 'supposed' to feel this way."
Do you just say, yes I am in a bad mood, it is the pain-body (DON'T COME NEAR ME OR I'LL...). When you are in the thick of it and FEEL this way, is it enough just to be in the awareness of the feeling? Is that your experience?
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Postby heidi » Sun Apr 03, 2005 7:12 pm

Hi T -
When you are in the thick of it and FEEL this way, is it enough just to be in the awareness of the feeling? Is that your experience?

Basically, yes. You only reinforce it if you try and understand it or force it to change. Judging it only creates a judge out of you. And often when you've let go of it, then the understanding arises all of itself.

Anybody who deals with kids knows that when a kid is being naughty, doing something they know isn't appropriate, a parent or teacher has a choice. You can react, and often reinforce the problem, or you can observe without reaction. Very often not reacting is the best way to improve behavior! Seems quite in line with power vs force, eh?
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Postby barbarasher » Mon Apr 04, 2005 5:40 am

Heidi, Thank you for your advice.

I wish you success with your upgrading process. Are you saying that you will be focusing on the health and not the process? Are you saying that you will be doing it with presence of the actions of each moment and not worry or obsessive thought about the goal?

I did manage not to argue with anyone. It happened that I came home from work early for me (at 6 PM). I made supper for the first time in many months. My daughter was very happy and exclaimed, I am a happy joying (sic) person!

In the evening, it kind of happened that I was very present with my husband. Just sat with him while he ate and talked to me and then his friend on the phone, while I looked at him (with a look of interest/love). He seemed to like that very much. The attention, the looking and the being together without words is also something. No need to talk or do all the time (that is my usual mode), meaning if we are not talking or doing, I always went and did something else or went to sleep. I think I am going to try this for a while, see what happens.
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Postby a_friend » Tue Apr 05, 2005 1:21 am

barb, thank you for sharing this beautiful moment with us! And thank you heidi, for being such and excellent example to all of us. I completely agree. When you feel a bad mood or depression or anger or anything "negative" (or anything "postive" for that matter), just accept what IS. Receive it so much that there is no "little me" left to be separate from it. Ask this "energy" what it is and where it came from, but do not be anxious for an answer. Just receive it, ask it, watch it, listen to it. If in this accepting you find yourself acting out in some way (like arguing with someone, or suppressing the feeling, or transcending it or judging it or whatever), accept that too. In otherwords, accept (receive) everything. "Keep asking, seeking, knocking" is a heading to a passage in the bible that i really enjoy. Our fundamental "problem" is that we reject, judge, or "tell" what IS. When we are completely, totally receptive, there is no room left for "telling". Oddly enough, you will probably find that this mood completely vaporizes soon after your wholehearted acceptance. But maybe you won't -- who knows?? Just watch and find out :)

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Postby summer » Tue Apr 05, 2005 3:24 am

Beautiful posts, everyone.
I love it when people talk about how they are handling difficulties that come up for them.
A while back, this paragraph from Stillness Speaks literally jumped off the page at me :)
Wisdom is not a product of thought. The deep “knowing” that is wisdom arises through the simple act of giving someone or something your full attention. Attention is primordial intelligence, consciousness itself. It dissolves the barriers created by conceptual thought, and with this comes the recognition that nothing exists in and by itself. It joins the perceiver and the perceived in a unifying field of awareness. It is the healer of separation.


I thought "This is what true love is all about. And it is so simple"
So, I am right there with you, Barbara, seeing if I can give the ones I love dearly my full attention.
I have to admit that I have noticed how in social situations it seems almost impossible for me to remain silent. But, thank goodness, my little Zoe is very compfortable in this quiet sacred space.

I am looking forward to sharing notes on how listening is influencing our relationships.
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Postby barbarasher » Tue Apr 05, 2005 5:59 am

Yeah!
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