i hate it....

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i hate it....

Postby imago dei » Sat May 24, 2014 7:38 pm

Hi everybody,
in this period i'm finally doing jobs that i really like, i am appreciated by the master & collegues and all....
But still, while working with a lot of passion terrible thoughts come to my mind, like "i'm afraid to have mental problems or i'm afraid i'll get a mental disease". It's creepy. Is this the ego??
I went even to a psychiatrist to "check me out" and she said i have a great concentration, i'm very fast and i can memorize very well....plus, i have really no disorders.
Why this continuous annoying me, then??
Know thyself.
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Re: i hate it....

Postby Webwanderer » Sat May 24, 2014 7:51 pm

imago dei wrote:Why this continuous annoying me, then??

Probably because you've given it enough energy with your concern for it to pop up spontaneously.

Just be okay with it showing up - no resistance - simply give recognition that it's there and move on to what you prefer in consideration. If it hangs around a bit, be okay with it. Resistance is what gives it energy. Feel the difference.

Consciousness expands though inclusion, not exclusion. Resistance is an attempt at exclusion. When it's okay that it comes up and no additional resistive energy is given it, it will become less an issue of concern and slowly fade into irrelevance. But it will have been through inclusion, not exclusion.

WW
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Re: i hate it....

Postby imago dei » Sat May 24, 2014 7:58 pm

Webwanderer wrote:
imago dei wrote:Why this continuous annoying me, then??

Probably because you've given it enough energy with your concern for it to pop up spontaneously.

Just be okay with it showing up - no resistance - simply give recognition that it's there and move on to what you prefer in consideration. If it hangs around a bit, be okay with it. Resistance is what gives it energy. Feel the difference.

Consciousness expands though inclusion, not exclusion. Resistance is an attempt at exclusion. When it's okay that it comes up and no additional resistive energy is given it, it will become less an issue of concern and slowly fade into irrelevance. But it will have been through inclusion, not exclusion.

WW

Thank you for the wonderful answer.
I'll try to accept it, not to resist it....those thoughts are so drammatic, like a sword in my heart.
Next time while teaching i'll look at them simply.....my biggest fear is about my jobs, i love them too much, enjoy them a lot, i'm so proud of my self.
Ok, i'll do what you said, tnx!!
Know thyself.
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Re: i hate it....

Postby imago dei » Mon May 26, 2014 2:19 pm

The point is that for several years i've had depersonalization/derealization problems, lack of concentration, anxiety....so while working for 2-3 hours i have doubts like "i'm afraid the problems come back or to lose my mind in any way"...
I don't want it to happen :((((
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Re: i hate it....

Postby the key master » Mon May 26, 2014 2:49 pm

imago dei wrote:The point is that for several years i've had depersonalization/derealization problems, lack of concentration, anxiety....so while working for 2-3 hours i have doubts like "i'm afraid the problems come back or to lose my mind in any way"...
I don't want it to happen :((((


Why do you think depersonalization is a problem? (the process of depersonalization would only be initiated by your mind as a solution to a different problem) All I'm saying is that maybe you want it to happen even though you're saying you don't.
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Re: i hate it....

Postby Webwanderer » Mon May 26, 2014 5:40 pm

imago dei wrote:The point is that for several years i've had depersonalization/derealization problems, lack of concentration, anxiety....so while working for 2-3 hours i have doubts like "i'm afraid the problems come back or to lose my mind in any way"...
I don't want it to happen :((((

Be okay with the doubts when they arise, and simply choose a different focus of attention - one that you prefer. When you feel fear that "the problems will come back or to lose my mind in any way...", be okay with it. It's just conditioned thoughts arising. It happens to everyone to some degree. Recognize that that is all that it is and choose a thought, a way to perceive what arises, that feels more to your liking.

Doing so will starve your concerns of the energy of focus and the emotional fear based attention of Resistance. Know in your heart that it will be okay, and enjoy the true understanding of how life experience is created. It may take some time, but that's okay too. And the clearer you are that it's okay that it may take some time, the less time it's likely to take. It's because to be okay with life as it is in this moment, no matter what the content, is the key to an enjoyable life.

Worry over what does not currently exist only helps create it. It's just how energy flows into creating experience. Whatever context, perspective, meaning, you focus on, in whatever arises in your life, will create your experience of what arises. There is no inherent meaning in the stuff of life. There is only our choice of perception and perspective.

WW
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Re: i hate it....

Postby dijmart » Mon May 26, 2014 6:57 pm

Sometimes it helps me to momentarily go to the worst case scenario, instead of having worry and dread about the "what if" situation. So, ok, it's back, now what? what will be the course of action taken if it were back? or is there no action that could be taken and acceptance would have to happen?

For an example, if someone is afraid they might lose their job. Day in and day out they are worried sick about this. If they go to the worst case scenario in their mind, they were laid of, now what? Well, they'd go on unemployment and pound the pavement to find another job in the mean time. This to me sounds less scary then the endless "thoughts" tormenting them. They have a plan of action in case the worst case scenario does happen.

So, in your case, if you had a mental illness what would you do? Maybe go to counseling, maybe go on medications? It wouldn't be the end of the world, many mental illness are very manageable. I don't mean to down play it, but I'm trying to help you go to the worst case scenario and in doing that you might be able to see that the worry is more detrimental then the worst case scenario is that would happen "in the moment".
Take what you like and leave the rest.
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