A bit lost after reading Power of Now etc

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A bit lost after reading Power of Now etc

Postby lostintheuk » Wed Aug 27, 2014 4:45 pm

Hey I'm pretty new to all of this, but have been reading Eckhart Tolle and other books by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj and Ramana Maharshi.

As a small bit of backstory, I have always fully identified with mind, would be constantly be thinking and had a huge ego in relation to intelligence. I had bad social anxiety and felt a lot of expectation from society and parents re career.

A year ago I decided to focus on "self-improvement" and focused on body language and dress sense etc. I went back to uni for a different course. Superficially it was helpful but I realised I was still in the same boat but with better clothes haha.

After this realisation I read these books and came to understand that my year of self-improvement created an even bigger ego and everything that I did was for a desired result, which never quenched the thirst for more.

I understand now the futility of desire and fear but as I'm just starting I feel quite lost and a bit apathetic. I get fleeting feelings of the isness of everything but a lot of the time I feel empty and am starting to isolate myself because I know the outer world won't make me happy/ give me peace.

I saw another post about this but would like to hear further people who have felt like this and how you kept a balance when you realised the inner should be your primary reality rather than the ego chasing the outer.

Cheers!
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Re: A bit lost after reading Power of Now etc

Postby Webwanderer » Wed Aug 27, 2014 5:45 pm

This is how I see it: The desire for more, for self improvement, for a loving relationship or for most anything in life is not a negative in and of itself. There is always a matter of context. Desiring self improvement is problematic when there is a component of desiring to be better than someone else, or a comparison to someone else. That is recognizably ego. Desiring more trends more problematic when there is an existing negative judgment on the way things are. Life is fully what it is, as it is, in any given moment, and any judgment we hold only serves to limit and contract us as conscious beings - at least in our human perspective.

Expansion of consciousness is a natural process of being. That means more - eternally more. That does not suggest that what is now is not enough. The focus in not on lack, it's about co-creation, it's about expansion of consciousness by creation and inclusion - all the while feeling deep appreciation for all that is. Don't be afraid of your desires for more. Simple watch the context in how desire manifests. Your true nature is expansive in its essence. That's why It/you are here in this form. It's only our ego perspective that compares itself to others and makes judgments based on comparisons rather than experience through feeling.

We can choose however. We do anyway - consciously or by unconscious conditioning.

Welcome to the forum.
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Re: A bit lost after reading Power of Now etc

Postby lostintheuk » Wed Aug 27, 2014 5:56 pm

Hi thanks for the response. I guess it can be quite confusing when you read quite a lot of material in a short space of time and get confused at the small differences between them. For example I read that desire and fear are two sides of the same coin and comes from an egoic state. I guess what I find it crazy to get used to is to want to do something without having that empty feeling inside of me driving it. Without it it's almost like I would stop doing anything. But that's probably just ego haha.
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Re: A bit lost after reading Power of Now etc

Postby Webwanderer » Wed Aug 27, 2014 6:17 pm

I suggest that you keep in mind when considering any information, new or old - its context. There are more arguments and misunderstandings because of differing contexts than probably anything else. Once you are clear on the context of whatever information being offered, then trust your own inner guidance. That you will know, not so much by analysis, but by your feeling nature. Thought and word may come to describe what you feel, but it is in the feel that truth is recognized.

Cultivate a quiet space where you can feel the essence of an idea. This quiet space is where alignment with your true nature is to be found. Go there often and become familiar with the experience, with the quality of clear presence. Be conscious of it. Rest in it. This is where you will find your guidance, insight and inspiration. There is no external teaching that measures up to it. Even the best of teachings only awaken that which already lies within awaiting its place within our human consciousness.

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