Remorse

Here you may share how the words Eckhart Tolle have affected your life.

Remorse

Postby epiphany55 » Thu Jan 22, 2015 11:20 pm

My first post in these forums, about a year ago (can't believe it's been a year!), expressed a deep remorse over past actions, and my struggle with the past polluting my presence.

I received great wisdom and compassion from the people on here - Webwanderer, smiileyjen101, Fore, Peas, Sighclone, KathleenBrugger, Phil2, Psychoslice, rachMiel, dijmart. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Remorse has been by far the most painful and prolonged emotion (if you can call it that) I have ever experienced, or will most likely ever experience. Yet it has at the same time been a tremendous gift. It has been the catalyst for greater self awareness, a greater feeling of love and empathy for all living things. I still think about the past every day, and it is still the first thing to "pull" me out of presence. It still makes my heart sink with regret. But I'm OK with that now. I guess many thoughts people have when not present are unpleasant ones. After all, that's why many people seek something more in life than what they're thinking.

It dawns on me, with a relentlessly renewed freshness and rawness, that what I did in the past will likely stay with me until I take my last breath. I take some comfort in the fact that the person I hurt is living their life to the fullest and will always have my love, protection and best wishes at heart, and that we do love each other. The person I hurt does not know how much it has affected my life. Sometimes it feels as if I am the only one who cares. I would rather that than live with the knowledge that what I did caused long term harm.

Eckhart Tolle was the first author I read who made me realise that I was spending most of my life living in my mind - regrets from the past, anxiety about the future and constantly swept up in the mind's obsessive colouring of "what is". He does not discriminate on what kind of past one has and his words ring profoundly true no matter where you come from and no matter what you have done.

To find this degree of compassion, understanding and wisdom in a world of hate, retribution, judgement and ignorance gives me a great sense of hope for humanity.

I'm really interested to read your stories of how the philosophies of Eckhart Tolle have helped you detach from the darkness of past, whether it's a past laden with regret or a past that has been darkened by the actions of someone else.
Thought is the object, not the essence, of consciousness.
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Re: Remorse

Postby smiileyjen101 » Fri Jan 23, 2015 12:18 am

Epiphany said: To find this degree of compassion, understanding and wisdom in a world of hate, retribution, judgement and ignorance gives me a great sense of hope for humanity.

I'm really interested to read your stories of how the philosophies of Eckhart Tolle have helped you detach from the darkness of past, whether it's a past laden with regret or a past that has been darkened by the actions of someone else.


Look how far you've come Epiphany :D

I figure thoughts, memories, fears are always going to be just around the next corner, where we bump into ourself or our past, or project into the future by stimuli arising and being interpreted.

I still feel and I still care, I just don't define myself or others solidly by our actions in limited awareness, capacity and/or willingness. It is what it is, and there is much peace to be had in accepting that.

Elisabeth Kubler Ross' notion that when these thoughts or emotions arrive at our door acknowledge them - 'oh, it's you again', don't set a place at your table for them because they are not staying long, hear what they have to say, evaluate it, thank them for sharing and show them the door again.

You may have guessed ( :wink: ) that the part of ET's work that I love the most is the notions of acceptance, enjoyment & enthusiasm being indicative of awake being/doing in harmony with the creative energy of the universe, and making enemy, obstacle, means to an end, indicative of running on egoic energies.

One of my first posts here detailed the effect of playing with this in a traffic jam and it was really a funny, and wonderful experience to notice and employ, instead of resistance and rejection and anger etc .. just acceptance, and then move it into enjoyment and then even more so enthusiasm for what was really around me in that moment. Just a hoot!! I employed it often, consciously playing with it.

Applying that to more difficult situations, and waking myself up when I realised I was making enemy, obstacle or means to an end of a thing, person (even me) or situation (even of my own creating) has brought an interesting watcher watching the doer doing level of awareness into the mix.

The funny thing though is that the watcher has no opinion, no 'judgement', so you cannot really rely on it for any guidance. For those seeking freedom from the thoughts and emotions that 'regulate' our behaviours, hopefully there will grow appreciation for them. They are what 'keep us in line', balance in guidance is better than no guidance at all.

The wider awareness, the 'watcher' truly just accepts whatever 'is', even without comment. So the sense of right/wrong really is at the basic level, which is weird. Imagine ego saying to awareness - Oi, come on, surely something rattles the cage? .... silence.

So the play of trespass and forgiveness is purely in the physical level.

If you're in those states of acceptance, enjoyment &or enthusiasm this is experienced most keenly.


I always wondered about a line in the movie Love Story, it was 'love is never having to say you're sorry'. I played with different possible meanings, and whichever way you play with it - forgiveness is a part of love, before during and after a 'happening' when love is in the mix; not making enemy, obstacle, means to an end of things is a part of love.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com
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Re: Remorse

Postby epiphany55 » Fri Jan 23, 2015 4:11 am

smiileyjen101 wrote:I still feel and I still care, I just don't define myself or others solidly by our actions in limited awareness, capacity and/or willingness. It is what it is, and there is much peace to be had in accepting that.


There is. I can't remember who used this analogy (it might have been ET himself) but to see someone (or oneself) act within that limited awareness is kind of like observing a blind force of nature. A tree falls on your house during a violent storm - do you curse the tree and the wind? Do you curse the wild bear that tried to attack you? Similarly, the active brain chemistry at the time when someone lashes out, verbally or physically, can this really be said to be anything more than the same blind force, albeit from a different type of storm - a neuronal one?

As biological entities, our body is just part of this domino effect of nature's parsimony. When we become aware of that, it's as if life is living us rather than us living life. The notion of free will becomes a terrible joke. At first, this realisation may invoke a feeling of deterministic helplessness. But that very awareness has already changed your biology. It creates a choke point for the energy that was once blindly guided by conditioning to be channelled more consciously. A greater sense of vigilance over one's nature emerges from the storm and new pathways open up.

It is only regrettable that it takes a crisis of some kind to awaken that process. But once the process has begun, it's like a light that can't be turned off.
Thought is the object, not the essence, of consciousness.
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Posts: 212
Joined: Fri Feb 14, 2014 10:13 pm


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