Difficulty finding a job

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oak tree
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Difficulty finding a job

Post by oak tree » Fri Aug 14, 2015 5:04 pm

I gave up working several years ago to care for a family member. I had enough savings so I wouldn't have to work.
However I now find myself back in the situation that I need to find a job. I've been applying for various jobs for months and still I haven't even got any interviews.
Feelings of despair keep coming up. I'm having fearful thoughts about homelessness and other scenarios like that.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

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Re: Difficulty finding a job

Post by Manyana » Sat Aug 15, 2015 2:55 am

oak tree wrote:Feelings of despair keep coming up. I'm having fearful thoughts about homelessness and other scenarios like that.
Hello. One suggestion - whenever you can completely surrender to it, not to the situation as a whole, but just to the particular moment you find yourself in. To see that when you are in just this moment on its own, there is nothing at all that is wrong and you can let go and relax. And what's so good about surrender is not only does it create gaps (periods of rest from the despair), it also provides little opportunities to learn to let go and trust life.

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Re: Difficulty finding a job

Post by smiileyjen101 » Sat Aug 15, 2015 5:18 am

Manyana's advice for the moments is spot on, it is a perfect scenario for practising staying with 'what is'.

In a practical sense, know firstly that the reality in most of our societies are that there are more people willing to work and needing jobs, than there are jobs to go round. And that will only increase as human labour is replaced by machines. It's an emerging human reality - while our societies and governments are still kind of pretending that we all do have the capacity to generate money through labour, and that 'new jobs' will replace the old, they're forgetting the basic principles of supply and demand.

So it's a wider human & societal distortion of expectation and reality as well as individual experience of that.

Eventually our societies (& ourselves) are going to have to admit the reality and reorganise. Reorganise how we supply, trade and allocate resources. France did a really interesting reorganising some years back when their unemployment rate was crippling their economy. They adjusted labour laws to bring in 4 day weeks on rolling 7 day rotations, and they made the proviso that the wages were maintained for what was previously a 5 day week. The increase in productivity and the increase in the number of people having money to spend... increased, not decreased business profits and decreased reliance on government welfare meaning the govt could then spend back into the community. Pretty politically fearless if you ask me.

Until then we're muddling in a world of have and have nots - creating divisions and action/reaction responses as we argue with the realities.

On a more personal level, I was in the same position and all those thoughts and fears arose for me too, they are a reality of the stress and pressures of our expectations and our reality being at a distance as the world economies change.
I've been applying for various jobs for months and still I haven't even got any interviews.
And even if you do get to an interview that may be combined with judgements in a wider societal sense. Being overlooked because you're overqualified or labelled this or that when you know you are not, is just aacchgghghghgh.

In my experience interviews only heightened my resistance to the reality that humans judge according to their own knowledge and fears. It was an exercise in accepting that all people are only acting within their own awareness, capacity and willingness - interesting learning in those experiences too.

I eventually found work in a place that had for a number of years each time I passed it, given me a 'funny feeling'. A niggle if you like. It's a whole other experience for me, a bit like living someone else's life, not what I'm used to, not what I am 'trained' to do, not what I'm 'capable' of doing, but purely what is required of me in this moment and giving me only what is absolutely necessary for somewhat financial survival. I figure maybe this is the New Earth(?)

It was one of those blink and you'll miss it opportunities, so definitely pay attention to niggles and act on impulses that can only be responded to in this moment. When we're too busy worrying about everything else we miss those opportunities.

Tell all your contacts that you're looking for suitable work, and make sure they understand what that means for you. Even then 'judgement' will arise about what is and is not 'suitable' for you and what you are 'suitable' for, giving you even more 'opportunities' to find presence.

I had a young interviewer (on asking for feedback about why I didn't get a particular position that I was more than capable/qualified for and had scored well in all of their tests and thought I was a shoo in) tell me that it was because she didn't think I would be okay with the pay level (... umm... I'm unemployed??? if it's more than the dole ....,) and it was at the same pay level as my last job, so it made no sense to me.

I asked her to explain, and she said she'd based this assumption because when she told me the pay level I said "That's fine." (Even though I was accepting and smiling and in agreement, apparently I wasn't 'enthusiastic' enough to calm her fears that it was 'below me').

In discussing how the misunderstanding arose we had a really good chat. She mentioned that she thought I wouldn't want to stay long at that pay rate/job and if I left too soon it would reflect on her as a recruiter.

When I told her I'd worked happily in my previous position for 8 years on the same money and genuinely only left there when the economic down turn made the position redundant causing financial stress for the owner to keep me on, and that I regularly volunteered my services outside of my 'job' for no pay, (again she had assumed rather than asked what my pay rate had actually been and hadn't been aware that my 'extra curricular' roles were totally 'unpaid') she expressed somewhat 'horror' at that given what she had assumed from the job 'title' and my resume.

I appreciated her shock (totally understandable given awareness, capacity & willingness) and told her that I was more than happy to do the work & have the experiences and live within my means that life afforded me. I also shared that maybe I didn't think money was as highly indicative of anyone's worth, motivation, capacity or willingness to do a job as she did, she genuinely, immediately 'got it' and profusely apologised for her error in judgement of me and her regret that it was too late to correct it.

She said she would have loved to have employed me, I was really perfect for the job --- except for what she had 'thought' - (and now it was too late). Wasn't that an opportunity in honesty and presence - for both of us :wink:

In reality it's not work that's scarce - there's plenty of work not being done that could be done, that even need to be done. It's jobs - work that pays us enough so we can participate in our societies. It's also not resources that are scarce in our societies either - it's just the money to pay for them that is distributed in ways that don't serve us all as a whole.

Reconciling all the elements of that, as individuals and as societies, I think, might be the 'new' Earth experience.

Accepting the reality may take going back to bartering among friends and family, going back to being a little less consumerist and a little more hands on and realistic with our needs for those of us who find ourselves outside of the assumptions.

Certainly entertaining fears of 'lack' and hopelessness are a self fulfilling cycle, so I'd suggest do what you can with what you have, appreciate more what you do have and worry less about what you don't have.

If you haven't read it before you may find Aunt Grace's Rules to Live by interesting and helpful. Found by her niece after she passed it explained how Grace had lived such a full and bountiful life despite disappointments and setbacks after WW1 and during the Great Depression, her niece always thought her such an inspiration.

It was a pledge to herself to each and every day (to get herself out of bed rather than wallow in misery & despair)
from a Chicken Soup for the Soul book for women, telling the tale of Aunt Grace, and her recipe for a long and well lived life after her fiancée (and just about every other marriageable man of her age) was killed in WW1.
She had taken to her bed for months, having no reason to get out of it, and no energy to face the reality that her life would now be.

One day she decided if she was to ever get out of her bed she would need reasons, she created her 'Rules to live by' every day

1. Do something nice for someone else
2. Do something nice for your self
3. Do something that you don't want to do, but needs doing
4. Do a physical exercise
5. Do a mental exercise
6. Do an original prayer that always includes counting my blessings.

And every evening document your achievements and blessings in doing the above.
Her niece found her diaries and was even more inspired at the very worthwhile life her Aunt had lived each and every day. 'Grace' was well named.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen

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