I need to tell my story so badly - and suggestions

Here you may share how the words Eckhart Tolle have affected your life.

I need to tell my story so badly - and suggestions

Postby imago dei » Tue Sep 22, 2015 5:35 pm

I'll be brief: im now 30, at the age of 24 healed social phobia and sense of abandonment, i suffered of deep depression and anxiety till that moment.
Till that moment, i was emotionally and financially trapped depending on an ambivalent father and a very possessive partner. I was very unhappy. Then with psychology and spirituality books healed all traumas, discovered the "power of here and now", my dream became true. I have to cry now. I left my partner, parents, moved abroad with no fear, met lots of new friends, getting the job of my dream (well, still working on it). I was freed and enjoyed my independence that i never had.
I also felt no need to have a relationship since i felt complete, i enjoy others but basically i dont need anyone to be happy.
But now i have a bf since 4 months ago, well we have an "independent" relationship, i mean i dont feel like im depending on him to be happy (maybe vice versa).
Btw: how can i manage my "new" self with having a family (i had one in former times)?? I dont want to be lonely anymore, in this sense.
Im terribly confused, cant i have a traditional family again after having travaled alone like a lonely wolf through Europe??
At that time i had one just coz i felt alone and abandoned, but now i dont have these feelings anymore. I need help and clearness, im feeling crazy these days.
My bf dreams of a family with me and i have nostalgia too, there would be several positive aspects.....but im not sure yet. I need lot of space for myself but i want love too (i don think there's anything bad in it).
I cant forget the NOW. And i dont want to lose my current bf. I cry so much, i dunno what to do and now it's 3 months that i think about it night and day.
Can't i have a traditional family again if i really want it??? But now im myself fore sure again, can't be no other after that experience of awakening.
My current bf was like a storm in my life, i used to enjoy my freedom but he's just too lovely. I adore him, but im not in love like i was at 20, feeling like drunk and having heart beat all the time.
Help me, it's such a crucial moment for me.
Know thyself.
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imago dei
 
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