Hello all, looking for some input and guidence

Here you may share how the words Eckhart Tolle have affected your life.

Hello all, looking for some input and guidence

Postby geogaddi » Thu Oct 01, 2015 10:41 pm

Hello

About 3 years ago i heard about meditation from the power of now, my search came from a deep state of depression and anxiety and longing for a solution to my suffering.
coming from a mostly atheistic background i used the tools mentioned purely as a stress reduction device, focusing on my breath or the present moment brought me a small glimpse of peace among the suffering i was dealing with.

earlier this year, i went through the worst state of panic and despair imaginable, it lasted for hours, but eventual i managed to use what i had learned from reading on meditation, sat down and focused on the room as if i was just born into it.

what occurred next is beyond words, purely ineffable, a force reached out to me, a force i recognized as myself yet not myself, at first i worried that i had become psychotic, i now wonder if psychotic breaks and experiences of satori are somehow related, i was viewing myself as a 3rd party, separate yet one, with my self, and everything around me, i walked around in a state of peace that felt so familiar yet i have never conceptual known before, free from thought, free from identity, free from fear, yet connected with everything. this experience lasted but a few hours, and since then i have been struggling to get back there, I've had similar glimpses with practice but nothing close to the realization i had that day, i feel the desire to re-experience this is what is holding me back on the new spiritual journey i have set out on, if anyone has any advice it would be much appreciated.

Many thanks
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Re: Hello all, looking for some input and guidence

Postby Webwanderer » Fri Oct 02, 2015 1:06 am

I'm not sure that we are meant to constantly live in that state you describe while in this human experience. That you were in a state of deep depression and anxiety, and in an atheistic perspective, suggests that you were gifted an experiential wake up call. Never forget it. But also, don't hang your happiness on it either. Just realize that there is far more to life than what conventional teachings have led us to believe.

There are ways to live that is generally free of anxiety and depression, especially for those who take the larger view of life. Keep your experience as a wonderful reminder and build a world view around it. One that will bring love and joy into your life. There is plenty of information available to explore in support of it. It is however, experience that matters most. Then if such an experience returns, and it may indeed, you will have built a positive base from which to explore it more deeply.

Welcome to the forum.

WW
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Re: Hello all, looking for some input and guidence

Postby DavidB » Fri Oct 02, 2015 1:13 am

Welcome geogaddi,

My advice would be to not try. Attempting to re-experience a spiritual high will probably lead you back to anxiety and depression, as you become increasing frustrated to regain what you feel you may have lost.

geogaddi wrote:i feel the desire to re-experience this is what is holding me back on the new spiritual journey i have set out on


I think you already know what you need to do. :wink:

The only thing that matters absolutely is that we know who we are on the most fundamental level, knowing this is what brings peace and presence. Everything else is only relatively important. Spiritual highs can be amazing, but they cannot last, as the elation will invariably wear off. True peace comes from the acceptance of what is, in each and every moment, allowing what is to be, as it is. :)
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
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Re: Hello all, looking for some input and guidence

Postby Sighclone » Sun Oct 04, 2015 8:15 am

Welcome geo -

What you experienced was, for lack of a better term, the arrival of grace. Speaking neurophysiologically, it was also likely a shift from the default mode network to the task mode network in your brain. And it was likely a satori experience. There will be other experiences in life, but none will be a duplicate of that one. Identify and practice some form of meditation that works to add calmness to your life. And get some counselling even if the counselor is not particularly familiar with Eckhart Tolle. It sounds as though you also experienced the Divine Witness, which is an advanced experience in consciousness in which you can observe your thinking, as though separate from it.

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce
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Re: Hello all, looking for some input and guidence

Postby ashley72 » Sun Oct 04, 2015 11:10 pm

When we humans encounter unfamiliar objects or experiences that are difficult to comprehend or communicate, we resort to metaphor. We attempt to assimilate or borrow from something familiar to us already. This experience you had is covert behaviour, a behaviour that can't be observed by anyone other than the person performing the behaviour.

The experience wasn't anything that special or extraordinary. You are not so-called enlightened or awakened. You just encounted a new experience brought on by a hyper-vigilant state of attention due to the panic cycle. As the positive feedback loop ran its course you may have moved through to a de-realization or dissociation stage of acute fear response. This is whereby you become so fearful your experiences no longer feels real anymore... It's a kind of mental disturbance brought upon by chronic nervous illness.

Dissociation is also known as a 'self induced (hypnotic) trance states' or 'altered states of consciousness'. The sensations of dissociation are many and varied. They include the following:

Derealisation

* A feeling that you and/or your surroundings are not real
* And/or experience your surroundings through a diffused light, fog or mist.

Depersonalisation
*Feeling as if you are "outside of your body"/ 'detached from your body', as though you are either standing alongside, above or behind it

Believe it or not this is very common state of consciousness to reach... I went through it myself due to panic.

What you realise as you recover from a panic disorder is that this experience is basically not religious or mystic, it's basically a acute stage of the panic disorder.

Lastly, panic disorder is treatable if you're still struggling with it. Go see a therapist who specializes in exposure treatment. This website is wonderful resource for people struggling with nervous illness. http://www.anxietycoach.com

Now for anyone who agrees with my reply. Ask yourself this.... If positive feedback loop (output cycle feeds back into input cycle in phase) can alter our state of consciousness... what does that tell us about the origins or structures of consciousness itself that positive feedback can alter its state so dramatically???

To help you explore this question.

What could acute positive feedback do to an integrated network?... A state of mind in which consciousness is fragile and voluntary action is poor or missing - aka a trance state brought about by de-personalization or deserializations.

This electrical circuit analogy may help you think about consciousness in a different light.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Negative_resistance
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Re: Hello all, looking for some input and guidence

Postby geogaddi » Thu Oct 08, 2015 2:15 am

The experience wasn't anything that special or extraordinary. You are not so-called enlightened or awakened. You just encounted a new experience brought on by a hyper-vigilant state of attention due to the panic cycle. As the positive feedback loop ran its course you may have moved through to a de-realization or dissociation stage of acute fear response. This is whereby you become so fearful your experiences no longer feels real anymore... It's a kind of mental disturbance brought upon by chronic nervous illness.


I am aware of derealization and depersonalisation and have went through them both. often simultaneously, sometimes for prolonged periods of times, but this was different. I went outside for a walk, could see the beauty in everything, colours seemed more vibrant and deep, i was aware of the noise of my surroundings as if it were beautiful composition on music.

Everything was at peace, i was smiling, laughing even at times.(or watching myself smiling and laughing) almost the opposite of viewing life through a fog, i became intensely more conscious of it, thoughts were still going on but were like distant conversations in my field of awareness that i had a choice in listening to.I felt no limit to my self, I had become the earth and the sky and the tree and the lamp post etc. there was no boundary to my self, there was no self, only a viewing of everything, which included this walking thinking being that i used to think of as me.
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