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This has all been a wonderful surprise!

Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 8:56 am
by leslie+
I encountered the teachings of Eckhart Tolle by clicking a link on youtube in mid-July 2016. I don't even know why I clicked on it, except I couldn't quite figure out what it was. After listening to Eckhart speak, I still did not know what this was. But I liked his voice and his accent amused me. So I kept listening. Soon I began to nod my head because I realized many of the things he was saying were true. So I listened further. He seemed weird at first but I began to understand after awhile what he was about. And I remained curious and open to the things he was saying. I listened and listened. I think several nights I was up until 4 am listening.
Some time went by and things started to happen. I attempted to put some practices into use, stopping my thoughts for example, and focusing on the now. This seemed very calming at the time, although I don't remember much from then. The next thing I remember is when I started to see things differently and I got very goofy and laughy. We were at the fro-yo place and I looked out at the parking lot. Suddenly the swoop of the land, the parking lines drawing across it, seemed just outrageously interesting. And then I was seeing beautiful things, gorgeous things, illusions of space and image, and also a lot of funny things. People seemed very funny a lot of the time.
I remember I had started to operate myself in space as though I were part of a video game, and called myself "the doll" and I noticed I had started to move around stiffly at times. This was all part of me getting into it, and understand the world of forms as an illusion. Then I was driving home, and had stopped at an intersection. Several cars crossed in front of me and I heard the most beautiful sounds, as they swooped and purred by, so quietly, and in such syncrony, and it was pure beauty. Most sounds had quieted and things that normally made me jump did not disturb me. I realized then that something had really changed because I normally have very negative feelings about cars and I would never find them beautiful. I rode home on tires of air and felt as if I were flying the whole way. It has often been like that since then, whenever I drive.
A lot of things have happened since then, and Eckhart's teachings have proven to be true. I am always practicing, getting deeper. I spend some days almost stumbling around in a goofy state, very happy, laughing, amazed at all the beauty--the sounds, the wonderful illusions in the world of forms, constantly changing. I work with elderly and disabled people, and they don't mind my new glow at all--in fact, a lot of people around seem to catch it, or take energy from my peace and joy.
I just recently actually READ Eckhart's book, and now I read it every so often to remind me of things to try. I worked on getting rid of resistance and that has gone well. The more resistance fades, the better everything goes. And even when it doesn't, I seem to glide right through. I recently tried on purpose to activate some anxiety and couldn't do it. The feelings of peace and beauty only got stronger.
I do have to be careful about looking into bright lights, because I will tend to stare into them. They are extremely pretty, but I have to remember this hurts my eyes! I also drop things more than I used to! I've also been roaming the streets at night a lot to see all the things and hear the sounds. (Don't worry; I live in a super safe and friendly town.)
It has struck me recently that it is amazing how we can go and walk in the world. We can just do that! Amazing! There is space, and there are sounds, and there are sights. It is amazing in this world. Even sitting in my room is amazing, the things the air does, the light, the patterns . . .
Few people here understand what I'm going through, but my Buddhist neighbor kind of gets it. I hope someone on here will understand and want to talk about it. I can still act normal if I need to, but I'd like to be more like I am now, and speak to others about it truthfully. Most of the time I am covering this up to other people because I don't want to frighten them.
A funny thing: when I go to the grocery store now, everything goes really really smoothly. It's almost comic how smooth! I find the parking space almost next to the door, I go in and stumble around getting groceries, all fascinated by everything (oh lord the sounds of those shopping carts in unison is heaven!), get my groceries, then all these checkers jump out to tell me they have a free aisle, they chat me up (sometimes saying enigmatic things and smiling too much), they bag my groceries super quickly, and in the parking lot, someone inevitably offers to take my cart back in. Everything gets done in record time. It's hilarious.

Re: This has all been a wonderful surprise!

Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2016 4:34 pm
by Webwanderer
Welcome to the forum leslie+. Very nice writing style. I enjoyed your beautiful and clear expressiveness. And I too love how things seem to work out when I just let life experience unfold. Life really can be fun.


Re: This has all been a wonderful surprise!

Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2016 1:18 am
by Sighclone
Welcome leslie!!!

Big breakthrough for you! After a big kensho a few years back, I sat in my back yard and looked at this little tree...sort of let it look at me, if you will, and "boom" each leaf suddenly was completely full of wonderment - just absolutely full of busy, fantastic naturalness. I was grinding away under my car with a tough bolt to loosen and started to feel anger rising up. Then I looked at the bolt and "poof" the pure intention of the designer came through...he or she was trying to build something to help me. Yes, it was rusted now, but the original intention was a form of love.

Resting in the immediate present moment is pure awareness, and there is not room for thoughts in there...just Pure Awareness.

And the synchronicity of events is, yes, amusing. When I can't get the parking place I want, I smile...'this must be the universe setting me up to meet an old friend I would have missed otherwise' or something.

You might enjoy other writers who address this awakening thing such as Adyashanti, Ramana Maharshi, Nisargadatta, Jac O'keeffe, Ramesh Balsekar, Gary Weber, Gangaji, Byron Katie, Tara Brach...there are many.



Re: This has all been a wonderful surprise!

Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2016 10:10 am
by EnterZenFromThere
Hi Leslie,

It's funny, your story is so similar to mine in so many ways but also so different - it's like we're sharing something that is uniquely our own :)

I too was triggered into awakening by watching an Eckhart video. I hadn't known anything about him or spirituality but was in an exploratory phase in my life while a friend asked if I had heard of him. I watched a video and my thoughts stopped and wonder descended, a natural aliveness filling all my senses. Like you, I didn't start reading Eckhart until some time later, instead satisfied to explore this new place. For me it would come when I invited it for a week or so and then would come and go for the next year.

Later I began to use a spiritual practice known as self-inquiry to go deeper. This triggered some quite unexpected events which took quite a long time to integrate. In the last year or so I settled down with a spiritual teacher who works well for me and that has really helped enormously to ground the experience and I feel like I can live a normal human life while continuing to evolve spiritually.

My teacher talks sometimes about our first experiences being a kind of honey moon period when you first come in contact with the beloved. You sound like you are on a beautiful honey moon and I think that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you :) it takes me back to those first moments and I recall what an incredible gift that was, it's truly breathtaking.

For me, those heady days have grounded into something more of a marriage. We have our ups and downs, the beloved and I, but as time goes on I feel our love deepen into something mature and rich and calm. My sense of self is becoming so thin it's like I'm empty space and everything that touches my senses is radiant with the same divine self I know to be me. It's utterly wonderful!

I'm happy to see your message as I, like you, had been looking for people to share this wonder with. I was walking with a friend yesterday in awe at the mystery of my being and wanted to share with him. When he asked me what I had been doing I wanted to say "dissolving into the empty space of our true nature and realising the beauty of life is within my heart - that separateness is giving way to unified radiant love" but instead I said, "oh, not much".

So I would certainly welcome sharing on the wonder! Is there anything you would like to share or would like to ask me?


P.S. Hi WW and Sighclone, it's good to see you both again :)

Re: This has all been a wonderful surprise!

Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2016 6:00 am
by Sighclone
Jack -

What a treat to have you back!! Of course, I use the word "you" advisedly - :) .


Re: This has all been a wonderful surprise!

Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2016 10:29 am
by EnterZenFromThere
Hi Andy,

It's nice to be back and see familiar faces again.

Though I see an aspect of the Self as being pointed to in the teachings of 'there is no person here' I feel for the most part that this is a rigid position that lacks the full integrity it was original designed to move one into.

On one level I am certainly a simple human being. To deny this in favour of some spiritual agrandisment would be insane! :)

Re: This has all been a wonderful surprise!

Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2016 9:50 am
by Sighclone
Of course that is true. .in fact, growing in awareness allows a greater appreciation both the splendid differences between us as simple or complex people, without masking the essential unity....I was trying to be a bit funny. ..many welcomes to you.