Being the witness

Here you may share how the words Eckhart Tolle have affected your life.
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Triple T
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Being the witness

Post by Triple T » Wed Apr 27, 2005 7:04 pm

I get a daily email called Peter's Pearls. He often has quotes from ET and the ones lately have dealt with relationships, especially conscious relationships.
I am a divorced Dad with my 19 year old daughter still at home. I thought that since I am not in a 'relationship' with anyone then I can still apply what Eckhart talks about regarding allowing the pain-body and unconsciousness to be there as a witness to it, with her.
Well I had a wonderful opportunity yesterday. She has a history of 'emotional problems', ADD, Bi-Polar, etc. and is prone to outbursts when things get dicey.
Something triggered her pain-body and she flew into a rage. For the first time I was able to BE THERE, knowing that what I was observing was not her, but her pain-body. It lessened the intensity of my reaction and I was fortunate also to be able to observe my inner feelings, my pain-body reactions to her and just breathe through them.
As time passed and I held that knowing, she calmed down and we were able to talk about what had caused this outburst. I didn't feel comfortable yet about pointing out to her that this was her pain-body in action but I thought it was a wonderful first step for me to be that witness and to know that it was not the real her I was observing, nor was it the real me who was feeling the emotions that would rise and fall, rise and fall within. That was so interesting too - to observe the feelings coming like waves and then receding.

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Post by a_friend » Wed Apr 27, 2005 8:30 pm

Awesome! Thank you for sharing this with us triple t. I have had similar experiences with my (soon to be) ex wife. It has only been recently that I've been able to remain fully present in the middle of a pain body outburst or a pain body reaction to such an outburst. Presence immediately lessons the effects of such conflict. Or maybe it just weakens the perception of the conflict, I don't know. Anyway, I'm happy you were able to do this and I think you might begin to find some old wounds healing. But we'll just have to wait and see about that.

I also wanted to add that father/daughter, brother/sister, husband/wife, and any other relationships are not as different as we think they are. Any close, loving relationship is going to present you with some hurdles like this. And the flip side is that with any close relationship there is also going to be the opportunity to experience the underlying oneness (not two-ness) of the apparent members of that "relationship". But there is probably no easier way to access these experiences than through the "romantic" type.

Anyway, keep it up, we're all rooting for you :)

a friend

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Post by summer » Wed Apr 27, 2005 8:31 pm

Thanks for sharing your wonderful experience, Triple T Dad,
Stories like yours feel like fire for my spirit, and fill me with hope and enthusiasm, and faith and....and.....
There just aren't words for what I am feeling..........but thank you comes close :)

Triple T
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Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2005 2:58 am
Location: Georgia, USA

Post by Triple T » Thu Apr 28, 2005 6:51 pm

Thanks Summer. :)
I appreciate your energy and support!

I wonder, a_friend, have you found that the more you practised being present in your experience with your wife, that the witnessing presence became more automatic, that maybe you didn't flow in and out of it as much as in the beginning?
Just curious... :?

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Post by ECM » Fri Apr 29, 2005 4:36 am

Awesome stuff Triple T!

I appreciate how you observe your pain as waves- tides.

Nature- Just letting things unfold as they do in nature- flowers, waves, etc.

thanks for sharing.

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Post by Larryfroot » Sun May 07, 2006 7:55 pm

That is an wonderful realisation, Triple T, and one that is a real inspiration. It's so nice to see what can be done, the places we can all get to; which is simply the place where we all really are. Thank you very much for sharing that experience.

Many a mickle muches a markle.

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