Sudden deepening of presence triggered by reading an article and accepting Im getting nowhere

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alchemizt
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Sudden deepening of presence triggered by reading an article and accepting Im getting nowhere

Post by alchemizt » Sun Sep 15, 2019 7:04 am

Something like a kind of sense of despair drove me to search for articles on how to know if your making progress with meditation. I was hoping to find something that would reassure me that I am making progress which would help keep my hope alive. Instead the article I found is this:
https://www.osho.com/meditate/meditatio ... g-progress
The first sentence is:

"When meditating, working on yourself, if you wonder whether you are making any progress or not, know well that you are not making any progress – because when progress is made you know it."

My automatic response was to get angry and my mind was trying to say things like "the person who wrote the article must not know the truth, they're misguided" or something along those lines. I read the full article then accepted it as truth so I had to accept that Im not making any progress not just in meditation but in life, the spiritual path. I somewhat accepted that I was never gonna get anywhere.

Accepting this I was suddenly peacefully aware of this kind of fear or anxiety, I sat with it and suddenly realised that meditating was really easy and I was not thinking so much, I could here the sounds all around me. I was not resisting so much. I became so relatively still, I went into a meditative state and this peace and spaciousness filled my awareness which is still with me now.

Its amazing what just happened and I understand it somehow but not on a mental level. To put it into words, letting go of the belief that Im making progress towards some enlightened or healed state enabled me to more deeply surrender to the way things are and some attachment and thought patterns dissolved.

Hmmmm

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Webwanderer
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Re: Sudden deepening of presence triggered by reading an article and accepting Im getting nowhere

Post by Webwanderer » Sun Sep 15, 2019 7:31 pm

My take on it is to drop the measuring stick of progress. It is best to do meditation for the simple enjoyment of it. In that I mean to enjoy and appreciate the clarity of your own being. Relax and rest in a true sense of who/what you are. Allow it to expand with practice. Those moments of clear being are reward enough - and the consistent experience will spill over into the rest of your life as a natural result.

WW

alchemizt
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Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2018 1:43 pm

Re: Sudden deepening of presence triggered by reading an article and accepting Im getting nowhere

Post by alchemizt » Fri Sep 20, 2019 3:06 am

Webwanderer wrote:
Sun Sep 15, 2019 7:31 pm
My take on it is to drop the measuring stick of progress. It is best to do meditation for the simple enjoyment of it. In that I mean to enjoy and appreciate the clarity of your own being. Relax and rest in a true sense of who/what you are. Allow it to expand with practice. Those moments of clear being are reward enough - and the consistent experience will spill over into the rest of your life as a natural result.

WW
Yeah, its showed me that attaching to an idea of making progress on the spiritual path actually pulls me away from where I was trying to get on the path. It seems I was resisting the present moment by being attached to the idea that Im making progress, when I let go of the idea, I lose hope and relax into the present moment then paradoxically what I was hoping for becomes my reality. This has been opening the door to deep presence in me, Im somehow able to consciously let go of this desire to get to a better place so much right now that Im feeling profound shifts in consciousness happening. It of course is spilling over into every aspect of my life. Its not something I gained so Im not worried about losing it Ill just watch and see what tries to pull me away from it.

All this pain has surfaced and Im really grateful for it cuz I somehow intuitively understand this pain is my best friend. By accepting it I go deeper into this presence. All this love and compassion and beauty emerges as I accept everything. Letting go of the idea of progress really helps me to accept the present moment. Its like hope for a better tomorrow that will come through progressing spiritually, its like this is a subtle way to distract us from facing ourselves here and now. Its like this is how the ego hijacks spirituality, it creates this identity of a person that is evolving spiritually and will eventually get there but its an illusion. Its funny cuz the exact things I was using to measure spiritual progress, as I let go of this journey of progress, these things come flowing through me like a tsunami.

Dcdc
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Re: Sudden deepening of presence triggered by reading an article and accepting Im getting nowhere

Post by Dcdc » Mon Sep 23, 2019 4:37 pm

Webwanderer wrote:
Sun Sep 15, 2019 7:31 pm
My take on it is to drop the measuring stick of progress. It is best to do meditation for the simple enjoyment of it. In that I mean to enjoy and appreciate the clarity of your own being. Relax and rest in a true sense of who/what you are. Allow it to expand with practice. Those moments of clear being are reward enough - and the consistent experience will spill over into the rest of your life as a natural result.

WW
Hello, my friend. :- )

I agree with Webwanderer.

In the now, in the present moment, in the world of being instead of thinking, in the moment of awareness instead of words/form, there's no progress, or goal or deadline. There's no past or future. There's just a peace space, an emptiness spot of awareness. Don't think to much about your presence pratice. If you have a cat, look to he/she and see how he/she is present without thinking about it.

In my country, there's a Zen Sensei Master that has a book calling (in English) something as: "The peak of the mountain is where my feet already are." Think about why he chose this title.

Best regards. :- )

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