Changing Friendships as the Mind Quiets

Here you may share how the words Eckhart Tolle have affected your life.

Changing Friendships as the Mind Quiets

Postby barbarasher » Tue Nov 15, 2005 4:17 am

Have any of you had your friendships change as you stopped identifying so much with your pain body?
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Postby summer » Tue Nov 15, 2005 4:36 am

Yes. I have found that a lot of the old relationships that were difficult before, are left behind. In the past, the conflict was serving to strengthen my ego. And now I would rather be alone.
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Postby weopposedeception » Tue Nov 15, 2005 7:08 am

I'm feeling a great desire to retreat from the ratrace madness. I see much hostility and insanity on the roads, it disturbs me. I have long ago removed myself from the media and popular "culture". I would prefer to be with nature.
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Postby spatialbean » Tue Nov 15, 2005 12:10 pm

Yes, things just don't bug me like they used to so I enjoy my friends rather than wait for them to do something to be upset about.

I spent so much time on drama before...wow! :roll:
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Postby be-lank » Tue Nov 15, 2005 7:05 pm

What friends?
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Postby barbarasher » Tue Nov 15, 2005 8:37 pm

As I become more awake/aware I see how my friendships were mostly involved in me telling my drama, and them consoling me or offering advice and then vice versa. Or us talking about what is wrong and unjust about this or that (negative judgment stuff).

I never liked just talking about events, like gossip or where I went or stuff and I find that without talking about the dramatic stuff, mentioned above, there is not that much left to talk about. I am much quieter.

Particularly relevant now is my best friend, with whom I actually very few things that we both like to DO together, except eat (she is very heavy and I gave up overeating a year ago).

She is a wonderful giving person and so am I and we love talking, but I do not have much to say anymore. I realize that when I do talk about the drama, it detracts from my being.

The total acceptance of the now, and the reduction of thoughts without the time issue of past and present do not leave much to talk about.

Any advice.
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Postby Marmarlade » Tue Nov 15, 2005 9:12 pm

As I progress, I find myself desiring to become closer to others through sharing moments, experiences, silences, rather than through blabbing about our respective dramas.
I used to (and still do on occasion) moan, "...but if not for the drama, what is there to talk about?..."

Everything, and nothing.

There are cycles, I've learned, and you must ride with them.
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Postby erict » Tue Nov 15, 2005 9:56 pm

Barbara, is that really what a friendship is all about? ... just having someone to share your problems with?

I guess some friendships are like that...
"Be sincere; don't ask questions out of mere interest. Ask dangerous questions—the ones whose answers could change your life."
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Postby barbarasher » Tue Nov 15, 2005 10:12 pm

What is it about in your opinion?
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Postby be-lank » Wed Nov 16, 2005 8:35 pm

Marmalade- Great answer!
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Postby be-lank » Wed Nov 16, 2005 8:48 pm

Friends imply more than one. There is only One of us.
The Friend. The more this is realzied, the less need for "others".
Loneliness is part of this path. It is a brillaint, divine sword that cuts deeply through all the false layers of self. A real, naked loneliness
can only be comforted by The Only Friend there is. Let the ache of loneliness be- and The Friend will come, with its grace, kindness and peace.
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Postby barbarasher » Wed Nov 16, 2005 11:27 pm

Yes, Marmalade very beautiful. Be-lank and all thanks!
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Postby jfavro » Thu Nov 17, 2005 2:15 am

I have definitely noticed a difference with friends and family members. Im more quiet now with people often asking me if something is wrong. I used to also spend time with friends going over the drama of our lives when now I don't feel that need anymore. I used to notice that I would feel anxiety sometimes after having dinner with a friend because we would analyze and drudge up so much "stuff" when all we were really doing was spinning our wheels and not getting anywhere by doing that. Its so good to hear that Im not alone. So many things are changing, but Im so excited about it!
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Postby be-lank » Thu Nov 17, 2005 5:33 pm

Barbarasher,

I sense a great awareness in you emerging. Your flower says it all!
Beautiful!

To the flowering of Consciousness within us all.

To blooming! To stretching our leaves and touching the Sky!

To feeling the wind in our petals.

To Life! Our Grand, genreous Friend.

Thank-you Barbarasher!
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Postby barbarasher » Thu Nov 17, 2005 11:24 pm

Such a nice thing to say. I am so touched!!
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