I can't tell you how much I like this forum. You saved my life, guys! Espacially thanks to those of us who seem not to be in need of talking about these questions any more - and do nevertheless.
After all my questions, today I wanted to give something back. An experience, I made all alone.

A few weeks ago I had a very intense meeting with my painbody, after I had read an Eckhart Tolle-interview. During this interview he said something like "some of us may not be ready for devotion". At this time I wanted very hard some kind of "progress", didn't have real genuine experiences and was disappointed that there wasn't any progress at all. And how could there be any progress - desperately looking for it?

These words of Tolle was exactly what my painbody had needed. It was starving because all this spiritual stuff in my head had given it not the right kind of food... But this! "Maybe I'm not (yet ?) able for all this" - oh my god, these were good ones!!! The next day I was caught in a deep depression. I really wanted to give it all up. But, in all this chaos, there was suddenly the thought "Underneath all this there is my true nature, which doesn't care at all about all the pain I'm experiencing now". It was only a thought, but a thought my painbody couldn't corrupt or destroy, not matter how hard it tried to.
After some hours my painbody had enough and vanished. What was left, was this one thought. And a lot deeper feeling of hope and "immortality" than before.
What I try to tell you?
Even when you do, from a spiritual perspective, everything "wrong", complete identification with the mind - this maybe also be a good teacher. It taught me to see every situation, also when your mind tells you it's wrong, as an opportunity.
And one more thing, that shappy wrote this morning in another thread. Once you had glimpses of your true nature, you can never forget. Anything else will take care of itself. Don't try to hard to "gain" something what already is there and will always be. It is like, again a quote, "a cat practising to be a cat"

I think, what we call "joy" or "peace" can be compared with a bird, that puts itself on your shoulder when you don't try to catch it. As soon as you grab for it to retain it or to get it when it isn't there, that delicate bird will fly away or keep aloof from you. But as soon as you keep your hands down and let it be wherever it wants to, it magically comes to you itself - sooner than you think you will recognise it on your shoulder.
hope this little story can give you back some of the warmth I have taken from here

loveful greetings,
astaroth