My awakening

Here you may share how the words Eckhart Tolle have affected your life.
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My awakening

Post by Sighclone » Fri Feb 15, 2008 8:24 am

My Awakening – February 2, 2008

It happened while I was reading the first 20 pages or so of ‘The Power of Now’. I did a little exercise and recognized a Home I had known many times in meditation to be accessible in waking consciousness. Any time. And it could be used as a checkpoint if I felt tension of any form begin to creep in. There was a little bit of fear as the last gasp of the ego tried to scare me. To verbalize: ‘there isn’t any place for me there…are you SURE you want that???’ seemed to be the message. My response was “you are the deluder, my old friend. You have built a castle inside of me, nurtured by all your friends out there. But it was a house of cards, full of longing and incompleteness, temptation and disappointment, anticipation and misery. And you made sneaky little promises that ‘it’ll be better next time. It never was. And shame on you for using fancy baubles and the lure of prestige. But over the last few years, you must have been very lonely when the real rewards in my life came from moments of transcendent intimacy with other souls, wondrous sights in pure nature, and a few gorgeous golf shots, usually when playing alone. Oh, by the way, you know, now, when you raise your sad selfish head that it has a permanent visible dunce cap. You will never be welcome again. So sad for you because I will continue in the world, and others will look for you in me and you will not be there. They may think they see you from time to time, but they will be wrong. Oh, one final note: I get to use that great big mind how I want to…good riddance my poor sad friend. And I get to have all the elements of you I need for my personality.”

Of course I had the distinct advantage of 34 years of irregular Transcendental Meditation…during which I had experienced the “suchness” of Now many many times. But it was generally limited to the meditation experience. Yes, many sessions had that quintessentially ‘buzzy’ essence of an energy surge as I could feel every atom in my body radiate. I used to think it was the secretion of the pineal body. But how could that get to my toes in a millisecond? Nope, it is something more Total than that.

Surrounding this event were several synchronous changes in my life. The first was the imminent passing of my wife’s sister in Ireland. This took Sandra from me for 48 days and allowed me to settle into myself without her presence which was not always total bliss. It was then that I realized I had been limiting myself in certain ways. I have tended to do this over the years when it was unnecessary and actually self-destructive - karmic from past lives, I have been told, now cleared. There was a flare-up in my workplace which allowed me some ‘down-time’. I had a strong premonition of an auto wreck which occurred (no injuries). I went to the casino and promptly won $1,300 at the dice table, when I was holding the dice – not common for me. When Sandra was in Ireland, she ran across ‘The Power of Now’ and bought it and started reading it. The book was mentioned on Oprah, and I began reading. After the Awakening experience, I contacted several spiritual people who were just reading it at that time also.

Now, one week later, I’m cleaning up the loose karmic ends of my life, which will take a little while…, mostly in the area of possessions. I'm sleeping 2-4 hours per night but very rested throughout the day. DNA activation and other chakra modality balancing by a skilled practioner has helped. (Thre was a synchronistic appointment cancellation, fit me in within two hours of calling her - otherwise three weeks.) But now I have a simple tool (Now focus and breathing exercise in PON) to Reconnect at any time, if I feel a hint of a drift. Oh...refinement in the Source continues too. See you on the plain of Arjuna. Namaste, Andy.
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Re: My awakening

Post by Webwanderer » Fri Feb 15, 2008 3:29 pm

Thanks for sharing your experience with us Sighclone. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Ego has a way of sneaking around and morphing into all sorts of creative formations. One thing is certain, it eventually reveals itself in thought. Mind talk, good or bad, is it's domain - and mind rarely remains silent for long. It's good you recognize this as clarity here will be needed, for it is likely there will be an ongoing relationship (for a while) with this internal king maker.

When the pressures of life make their presence known, the thought-master is the first to step up and take charge to defend its turf. A lifetime of organized mental structure rarely goes quietly. I love your clear insight into its workings. Remember however, that any internal debate with old mind structures is just the "me sense" developing new ways to play the game. Be clear an watch the show.

Again welcome to the forum.

WW

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Re: My awakening

Post by Sighclone » Fri Feb 15, 2008 5:13 pm

Webwanderer wrote: Remember however, that any internal debate with old mind structures is just the "me sense" developing new ways to play the game. Be clear an watch the show.

Again welcome to the forum.

WW
Thanks for the warning, WW. "Internal debate with old mind structures" - I actually have not had a single one of those. Sounds like something you struggled with a couple of years ago, from reading your early posts. But in reading them, I noticed an important phrase: the "Natural State that we are." Because that is so profoundly true, maybe it can help de-mystify the loaded word "Enlightenment." I know that most of my "well-studied and meditated" friends who have not crossed over believe that you have to go to Zen Mountain for 25 years to have this magic experience and then get to wear it on your sleeve, ambling slowly in a Buddha-trance, nodding wisely and uttering koans. But the reality, as you have so well put it, is that it is the State of Nature, and that we are simply "binding back" to it (re-ligare). If it were repeatedly presented as something that an individual can realistically achieve with some "effort/non-effort" (to coin a phrase), some of the "heavy freight" might be lifted. This is not to minimize the strength of the deep claws of ego, however. I was blown away when I learned that Oprah was going way up front with ET. I believe that as the energies on the planet continue to get coherent, that each person's 'big step' gets incrementally easier.

Another perspective: in the Parker interview, ET has this rather deep interpretation that will probably not be in Oprah's Lecture Number One:

ET: Now the question you may ask, and perhaps have asked, is "Who realizes the stillness?" If there is no longer the personal entity there, who is it that becomes enlightened? [Laughter] One could say, of course, nobody becomes "enlightened," because it is the dissolving of the illusion of a separate "me," which is not anybody's achievement, or anybody's success. It looks as if there were a human being becoming enlightened, but that is an external appearance. What is really happening is that consciousness has withdrawn from its identification with form, and realizes its own nature. It is a "Self-realization" of consciousness. Therefore it is a cosmic event. What looks like a human being, a person, becoming free of suffering and entering a state of deep peace—from an external viewpoint—in reality is a cosmic event. Please remember that all language is limited, so these are just little "pointers."

Consciousness is withdrawing from the game of form. For millions of years, as long as the world has been in existence, consciousness has been engaged in the play of form, of becoming the "dance" of phenomenal universe, "Lila." And then consciousness becomes tired of the game. [Chuckle]

I love your careful phrasings with our members.

Namaste, Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Re: My awakening

Post by kiki » Fri Feb 15, 2008 9:07 pm

I really enjoyed both of your posts in this thread, Sighclone. You have a gift for words in relating the "story of me" and its recognition. Well done.

k
"Miss Kelly, perhaps you'd like this flower. I seem to have misplaced my buttonhole ... Miss Kelly, you know, when you wear my flower you make it look beautiful." Elwood P. Dowd
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Re: My awakening

Post by Webwanderer » Fri Feb 15, 2008 10:41 pm

Sighclone wrote:Thanks for the warning, WW. "Internal debate with old mind structures" - I actually have not had a single one of those. Sounds like something you struggled with a couple of years ago, from reading your early posts.
Well, maybe you will be blessed with a clean break from thought based identity. As you astutely noted, ego played hide and seek with me early on. It still does to some degree, although I'm a bit wiser to its ways "now". There is still an ongoing process to see through the incessant mind talk that forever wants to be someone. Fortunately, recognition of ego/mind is now more a labor of love than a battle of wills. And clear presence is more readily available with increased experience. It's a matter of seeing it's simplicity.

Emotions create pressure to think, and thinking emotionally draws one into a 'me" sense. Next thing one knows there's a full blown dialog with a self that doesn't actually exist. It's just an unconscious assumption of self that sucks a sense of personal being out of the dialog. What's worse is both sides of the dialog is the same false identity. Very clever.

WW

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Re: My awakening

Post by Sighclone » Fri Feb 15, 2008 11:07 pm

Webwanderer wrote:
Sighclone wrote:Thanks for the warning, WW. "Internal debate with old mind structures" - I actually have not had a single one of those. Sounds like something you struggled with a couple of years ago, from reading your early posts.
Well, maybe you will be blessed with a clean break from thought based identity. As you astutely noted, ego played hide and seek with me early on. It still does to some degree, although I'm a bit wiser to its ways "now". There is still an ongoing process to see through the incessant mind talk that forever wants to be someone. Fortunately, recognition of ego/mind is now more a labor of love than a battle of wills. And clear presence is more readily available with increased experience. It's a matter of seeing it's simplicity.

Emotions create pressure to think, and thinking emotionally draws one into a 'me" sense. Next thing one knows there's a full blown dialog with a self that doesn't actually exist. It's just an unconscious assumption of self that sucks a sense of personal being out of the dialog. What's worse is both sides of the dialog is the same false identity. Very clever.

WW
WW - How elegantly put! Let me say this: recall that ET says, at the end of ANE: "accept or enjoy or have enthusiasm" (way condensed). That said, thinking itself is not bad. How much thinking did ET do in phrasing his texts? Thinking can actually be "fun." ("enjoy"). Thoughts alone, uninvested with identity are harmless. They are wonderful tools for communicating with the unawakened. I still have a lot of 'mind talk'...when I want it. When I want it. The problem before awakening was that I could not turn it off in a heartbeat and rest in the joy of Stillness. It is ok to be maximally comfortable in Being. That took ET about ten years. But I was really quite close, I now see. I probably had very clear sanchita karma, which I confirmed by a 'life between lives' past life regression about a year ago. I love your comment about 'both sides of the dialog' - bury the mothers in the Now!!
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Re: My awakening

Post by Webwanderer » Sat Feb 16, 2008 12:42 am

Sighclone wrote:Let me say this: recall that ET says, at the end of ANE: "accept or enjoy or have enthusiasm" (way condensed). That said, thinking itself is not bad. How much thinking did ET do in phrasing his texts? Thinking can actually be "fun." ("enjoy"). Thoughts alone, uninvested with identity are harmless. They are wonderful tools for communicating with the unawakened. I still have a lot of 'mind talk'...when I want it. When I want it. The problem before awakening was that I could not turn it off in a heartbeat and rest in the joy of Stillness.
I agree whole heartedly that thinking itself is not the problem, how would we even communicate in this world without thought? It's identification with thought, as you have well indicated, that starts all the trouble. The mind talk I refer to is not the directed purposeful type that helps us work through the events in our lives. It's the mind talk that arises spontaneously and blabbers on about everything and about nothing, and only serves to distract one from clear awareness of present conditions. This type of mind talk is ego attempting to make sense of the world under its own terms.

It seems your years in TM have layed the ground work for a clear and easy transition to awakened presence. There are many who sense this conceptually, but struggle for some time before getting clear of ego identification. It is likely the ease of transition is generally linked to the years engaged in honestly seeking truth. It's that ripeness thing again.

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Re: My awakening

Post by no won » Sat Feb 16, 2008 3:24 am

Is there a hint of spiritual jargon one-up-manship going on here ? not a judgement but rather a question ? Its all empty words I'm reading and thats only "my" opinion.

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Re: My awakening

Post by Webwanderer » Sat Feb 16, 2008 3:53 am

no won wrote:Is there a hint of spiritual jargon one-up-manship going on here ? not a judgement but rather a question ? Its all empty words I'm reading and thats only "my" opinion.
Not at all. Just a little friendly getting to know each other. Besides, isn't being empty a form of what we seek? :wink:

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Re: My awakening

Post by Sighclone » Sat Feb 16, 2008 8:52 am

Webwanderer wrote:
no won wrote:Is there a hint of spiritual jargon one-up-manship going on here ? not a judgement but rather a question ? Its all empty words I'm reading and thats only "my" opinion.
Not at all. Just a little friendly getting to know each other. Besides, isn't being empty a form of what we seek? :wink:
Refinement of subtle issues is important especially when we have the sneaky little ego-self who was so proud to be in charge for so long. "Spiritual jargon one-up-manship" is competition, implies winners and losers, but this is all win-win. WW cares about my Presence in Being. "Compassion is the awareness of a deep bond between yourself and all creatures." (PON p. 196) ETs books are full of fresh knowledge to break the veils. A little more from WW is welcome, empty words or pithy ET-like phrases, it's all good. WW and Sighclone had been working towards Being for many years before settling in Presence. The rest is details. Humor can be a form of cosmic love, too, but that's another topic.
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Re: My awakening

Post by Intel » Sat Feb 16, 2008 4:35 pm

If you don't mind, I'd like to put in my two pennorth. Sighclone you seem to identify the ego as an enitity you've overcome, when infact you need to recognise it wasn't real in the first place. The ego is simply a pattern of thought, nothing more.
I would lick your feet, but is that the sickest move?

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Re: My awakening

Post by Sighclone » Sat Feb 16, 2008 5:13 pm

Intel wrote:If you don't mind, I'd like to put in my two pennorth. Sighclone you seem to identify the ego as an enitity you've overcome, when infact you need to recognise it wasn't real in the first place. The ego is simply a pattern of thought, nothing more.
I always appreciate meaningful comments like this, thanks, intel. When I was living in it, ego was the only reality, Being was just another idea. Now, of course, the opposite is true. But what intel is saying should bring an element of comfort to people with fears about ego. The ego is a self-defined very protective tapestry of thoughts, nothing more. It lacks any real Power and will dissolve in the face of Presence.
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Re: My awakening

Post by no won » Sun Feb 17, 2008 5:19 am

WebW. wrote: (edit, suprised with Ww.)
Besides, isn't being empty a form of what we seek?
Eh! being emptiness a form ?? better look again.

Sighclone wrote.
My response was “you are the deluder, my old friend.
There may be a few more guilty of this on reading such nonsense and then to try defend same,.. its not working guys. Come back to "SIMPLE BEING" where there are no notions of refinements andf fixes and tweaKS. If I remember ET correctly,.. do you only like to talk about the Now or "be the now".

Nothing more to say, no further comments from no won, nothing to defend,..peace

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Re: My awakening

Post by Sighclone » Sun Feb 17, 2008 6:51 pm

Webwanderer wrote:Thanks for sharing your experience with us Sighclone. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Ego has a way of sneaking around and morphing into all sorts of creative formations. One thing is certain, it eventually reveals itself in thought. Mind talk, good or bad, is it's domain - and mind rarely remains silent for long. It's good you recognize this as clarity here will be needed, for it is likely there will be an ongoing relationship (for a while) with this internal king maker.

When the pressures of life make their presence known, the thought-master is the first to step up and take charge to defend its turf. A lifetime of organized mental structure rarely goes quietly. I love your clear insight into its workings. Remember however, that any internal debate with old mind structures is just the "me sense" developing new ways to play the game. Be clear an watch the show.

Again welcome to the forum.

WW
Thank you, WW. I intend to present my experience as simply and honestly as I can. Any of my words are simply my best effort. They will not be perfect. As time has passed, the 'high' has receded a bit, plus reading more interviews with Eckhart and comments throughout this board has added a broader foundation and comfort. The experience is sufficiently 'startling' at a deep level that it requires, for me, a reconfirmation from many sources. As I recall, Eckhart spent many months fully comprehending his Awakening. My ego was (is) significant but not oppressive, full of good intentions, but, of course, always unconscious. It is the recognition of Consciousness as true Home that is the fundamental change. And the ultimate paradox is that that Consciousness is at once very personal and universal. It has become a Source for me to reach into for peace and guidance. I am going to continue to post my experiences here in other forms. I absolutely welcome any form of comment or criticism openly. Thank you again for hosting such a wonderful group. I encourage others who think they might have had an awakening to blabber on about it comfortably. Your moderators are very caring and sensitive, people. Of course you take the risk of attack from all sides by egos. That is ok, you are ok, they are ok. It's all ok. The more we hear about personal experiences, the more enriched we are on the path. Namaste. I am the human form of self-realized Consciousness known as Andy.
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Re: My awakening

Post by Intel » Sun Feb 17, 2008 7:20 pm

I want to ask if you are 'enlightened' as you understand it. If you are, I would be grateful if you could describe you experience, such as sensations and perception, how you feel and your relationships etc. Also please don't say stuff such as ''The Light'' and all that, just tell it plainly from your own experience. Thankyou :)
I would lick your feet, but is that the sickest move?

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