Quandary

Here you may share how the words Eckhart Tolle have affected your life.

Quandary

Postby Wings » Mon Mar 20, 2006 12:03 am

When this occurred is not significant, suffice to say, it did and my senses changed. Mind based interpretation of life plagued my space more often then not, its talons would submerge and suffocate me and routinely I’d gasp for air. The unnerving time/mind base struggle of incessantly questioning and pondering my quest for enlightenment vacillated from good to better to worse and on and on and on…………...

I maintained this image of myself which was not really my friend, nor did I really like him as much as I should but I held on because of all I had ever seen and mentally known from birth to this day, was this guy’s vision and experience. I was the sum total of the filters I seen and felt through his life. The mind chatter would drive me up the wall while I maintained a facade of complacency and needed cool control, even while desperately exploring the spiritual world.

Within, I was aware of my awareness but would punitively reproach myself when I’d allow a fault or slip of my stifling image to breach the flow of a peaceful space I may have been in. Disruption ate and loved my (pain body) pain and would look forward and relish the next episode. Voracious and unyielding.

Trail and error, negotiations with it, ad infinitum, I was worn out and tired of fighting, teeter-tottering and compromising with it so I just said, to hell with it, awareness or not, spiritual needs or not, I give up, I surrender and I will accept without question who I am NOW and be with it, AS IS from now on. This guy I’ve known all my life suddenly “knew” it was okay. Nothing has changed and won’t change accept the surrendering and acceptance of who I am and what I am right NOW.

I still have good days and better days and not so good days but when I sit back or just relax, I sense through the eyes of my awareness, “it’s” good. Occasionally, I have more kick to my step and smiles are NOW easier a good part of my life. This to me “is being” and “aware” and it works. Complicating it beyond this, to me, is folly and unneeded. I am who I am, thank you! Surrender and acceptance is a key. I hope it’s worked for you and perhaps put more skip in your step?
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Postby dancer » Mon Mar 20, 2006 5:28 am

Surrender and acceptance is a key.


Just a wee correction here,

Surrender and acceptance is the key. :D
:)
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Postby Egoicmidget » Mon Mar 20, 2006 3:51 pm

The post is beautifully written, I'm glad you have chosen this forum to share your expressions. Welcome home.
John
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Postby Wings » Mon Mar 20, 2006 7:50 pm

just a wee correction here,

Surrender and acceptance is the key.



Hi dancer,

I looked at this as well prior to posting it and I knew from my experiences that it was just a couple of the keys which I dredged to find and am very thankful having done so. This is why I used the term “a” key, like one of many. My sentence structure and spelling is atrocious. Thank goodness for my spell checker or I’d be chucked and marched off this board into exile for ever.

I’ve perused the boards a little and a couple of your posts caught my eye. I sensed you too, like most of us share much of the same, as seekers, to find a key to open that which will set us free. Free in a sense of being free from the excesses of doubt and the belaboring of being at one with ones self. This, in and of itself, can at times wear one very thin. I really appreciate the light you share on this board which visibly emanates from your quest. I sense you to be a good person who has found his way to fill your needs with like seekers. Your success will be measured with “ease” of flow into what you need. It’s utterly simple and has always been this way by, “just letting go” and being who you’ve always been with the grace, tools and ability to witness your mind base self without resistance or question and enjoy being who you are right NOW. “It/you” and the grace of your existence have always been there! See yourself as that special person who has the talent to flick a switch and turn on the picture show of mental visuals and behind it all, you are the director, editor and screenwriter of a very special production and place called life. How and Why? Because you know you are aware of your awareness to do so!

Please excuse the soap box Dancer, I do get a little crazy from time to time, but it’s genuine and I guess I’m safe, especially here…….

Egoicmidget,

The feel of your posts are clean, smooth and very special with a trait only born from a stronger spiritual insight. Seemingly the seeds of discovery have grown well within you and left you a unique gift of ease and understanding. I like you and feel pleasure in your company. Thank you for your welcome.

Summer,

You’re like a flower which opens up and sheds a scent of fun and beauty for dreary posters such as myself. Something my cantankerous self can only admire from afar and accept as a pleasant gift, well needed. Thank you for being.

Be-lank,

Please realize me as your friend and confidant. Your energy and bristling enthusiasm skirts all question of devotion to your plight. At times this maze of seeking can be daunting but this board allows one to reach out and be touched by other souls needing understanding and spiritual affection. You have this power and can use it well. My appreciation of this can go without saying, but I’ll say it anyway, thank you.


:lol:
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Postby be-lank » Mon Mar 20, 2006 8:19 pm

Holy Cow! Them wings can Fly!

Please realize me as your friend and confidant.


You got it. All the way.

And thank-you!
:D
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Postby summer » Mon Mar 20, 2006 9:41 pm

:D :D :D

Thank you, Wings,

Your kind words about all of us are very much appreciated.

Welcome to our circle, and HAPPY EQUINOX, Everyone,

The Mayan New Year. The first day of Spring. Another wonderful day to simply celebrate being alive.

:D :D :D
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Postby Wings » Mon Mar 20, 2006 11:17 pm

The Mayan New Year. The first day of Spring. Another wonderful day to simply celebrate being alive.


So true and yes the vernal equinox ushers Spring in this small part of the world with such exuberance. My flower pots and flower beds seem to be blooming in all their glory. The vibrant colors reach out an affix your sense's with appreciation of my surrounding which I’ve treasured for so many years. With this spring, today entered a new gardener whose talents and effort has pruned all that was needed, leaving the bonsai and garden areas with a fresh face of beauty. I feel fortunate. :lol:

A couple of weeks ago while visiting the desert, one of my favorite sojourns this time of the year, for the first time in all the years I’ve been frequenting the desert, I discovered a great find called “The Living Desert.” It’s nestled against a picturesque desert mountain side, embellished with structured walking and tram paths which hold a treasure trove collection of dessert plants, trees, cactus and desert flowers ever known to man through out the world. It was simply great! While there I heard this enchanting sound of deep throated chimes singing its song with a haunt I couldn’t resist. I approached these large melodic chimes which where about 56” long and keyed around the note of “A.” Needless to say, this Spring, my garden now greets one with the sight and song of these beautiful chimes whose deep resonance looms with such grace. Today, the first day of Spring, life is glorious, simple and good. :D
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Postby heidi » Mon Mar 20, 2006 11:24 pm

Ha ha ha ah ha!

So, I am reading these lovely posts, and it suddenly occurs to me (it's 4:30 in the afternoon here) that today is my anniversary, too. So, I yell up to Jim - Happy Anniversary, honey! And we laugh and laugh because we both never even thought of it all during the day. So, our son comes out of his room and goes, you guys both forgot it was your anniversay? And we laughed and laughed, and kissed, of course. Dates have never really been all that important.

Happy Spring! . :lol:
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wonderment on the third wave
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Postby dancer » Tue Mar 21, 2006 5:13 am

Hi Wings,



"Please excuse the soap box Dancer, I do get a little crazy from time to time, but it’s genuine and I guess I’m safe, especially here……."


No need to apologize for the soap box, if it were necessary then we would all be saying sorry at every post!

Feeling safe here, wow, what a great compliment, alright everybody let's keep up the good work! :lol:
:)
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Postby JedEye » Tue Mar 21, 2006 3:47 pm

I like this topic most of all others :D Very pleasant energy
sorry
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Postby Wings » Tue Mar 21, 2006 8:32 pm

Just a wee correction here,


Surrender and acceptance is the key.


No need to apologize for the soap box, if it were necessary then we would all be saying sorry at every post!


Feeling safe here, wow, what a great compliment, alright everybody let's keep up the good work!

Hi Dancer,

As a concerned person, reading this and your current post called (SHIFT), as others, I come away knowing this is open mind chatter, noise, refuge dispelling itself in print. It was tedious, overbearing nit picking which is all to familiar and yes, nerve racking. It appears that you feed off of it (pain body) and identify with this feed fest as a normal transition one must accept as part of your spiritual quest. IMHO, not so. Incessant, minute examination, nit picking, if you will, adds credence to it and the pain body adores you for it. You’re the (Pain Bodies) pain slave and you know it but have some morbid, entertaining fascination with it which apparently garners you (pain body) others attention and which you allow to flourish. In other words, you are your pain body and your pain body can be a voracious (attention suck).:twisted:

Don’t feed it, let go, surrender and recognize its futileness and become the director of this production by giving it “no more than a glance” and weed out (ignore detrimental mine based illusions), your conscious self is well aware of it’s uselessness but your attention to it compels credence.

Liberation opens the door to your other self. The good and gentle self. You’ll get fewer complaints out of him…….:D
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Postby Egoicmidget » Wed Mar 22, 2006 2:19 am

Dancer the tone of your posts do suggest a strong connection to trying to understand mentally what being awake and enlightened means.
Awareness evolves from not thinking all that much but rather watching the thoughts from what Tolle calls the witnessing presence. From that perspective you simply watch the thoughts being born from the vast field of conciousness itself and you simply notice them without judging at all.
Humility and surrender to what is are also awarenesses and have very little to do with thoughts generated by the mind which most likely carry the egoic thinking.
It is easy to fall into your head as I call it, my take on you is you are very emotional even passionate about your search. Sort of bouncing between the awake and mind story aspects of your existence.
Some months ago I went through that as well.
You tend to take things personaly(suggesting the story of dancer is operational) . You seem lately to be asking for feedback so mine is simple and is basically a Tolle quote. "Make this your spiritual practice, don't take your thoughts too seriously". Paraphrasing a comment he said on one of my CD's. One of his new CD's suggests to renounce thought all together other than what is needed for practical purposes.
He also mentions someday watching your thoughts and having a bit of a chuckle about them.
Of course he means watching the egoic self.
Remember too one of the first things Tolle tells us is"You are not the thinker".
Using the portals helps you stay connected to the now. And be gentle on yourself we are all learning together to overcome lots of conditioned mind stuff.
The pain body is energy, and when examined from the "witness"and allowed to speak, you will find the witness to be a loving compassionate non critical steward to all that hurts you emotionally. Tolle mentions that energy when exposed to the light of consciousness itself becomes consciousness. I used to grasp and discovered that all grasping was egoic" I want to be awake and I want it now". :D

Remember: "What you are looking for, is what is looking."
St. Francis of Assisi

Best to you friend

John
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Postby Wings » Wed Mar 22, 2006 8:43 pm

Hi John,

Tolle quote. "Make this your spiritual practice, don't take your thoughts too seriously". Paraphrasing a comment he said on one of my CD's. One of his new CD's suggests to renounce thought all together other than what is needed for practical purposes.
He also mentions someday watching your thoughts and having a bit of a chuckle about them.


Thank you for bringing to the fore a favorite quote that buys a ticket to ride on a magic carpet of well needed light heartedness. Through years of past/future reruns which desperately try to re-invent themselves to get a part in an egoic/pain body production, their consistancy never ceases to amaze me. My camera/witness sees them seeking the part of serious present thought, as its usually done in the past, but its old, stale and even though it huffs and puffs and just sort of flails in the background while futilely trying to infiltrate, it gets kind of kind of pathetically funny, and yes, an internal smile of amusement surfaces and becomes very present. A chuckle and at times a good laugh at oneself brings a welcomed light of ease and peace into my life because of “it.” :D

Thank you for the reminder John. The sun came up this morning and the cool air smells so fresh and clean. It kind of bites with pleasure. :D
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Postby dancer » Thu Mar 23, 2006 7:07 pm

my take on you is you are very emotional even passionate about your search
.


Thanks John,

Your whole post, especially the first sentence, was very useful for me.

I like your take on me. :D
:)
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Postby Egoicmidget » Fri Mar 24, 2006 3:43 am

Thats cool Dancers. Thanks
Wings I loved your post also.
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