No more Mr. nice guy

Here you may share how the words Eckhart Tolle have affected your life.

No more Mr. nice guy

Postby MatthewCromer » Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:55 am

I did it again.

After reading the Power of Now, and really starting to "get it" I'm finding that my "nice personality" is gone. I've always believed that spirituality was about "being nice" or "kind" or "caring". Instead I'm finding myself with an incredible thereness that isn't the "nice person" I am used to being. I walked into a store the other day and normally I send out "friendly" vibrations and think kind thoughts. But instead it was more like just a "thereness". I didn't feel a "relationship" with the people I saw there. Instead there weren't any people there, nor was "I" there. I looked at people and there was no duality at all - it was beyond relationship, beyond emotionality and being "nice". And my personality felt scared, a little guilty. He missed the emotional warmth of "caring about" "other people". Only there weren't any people, there was just a total oneness, a non-dual flow of experience. My personality was really kind of shocked, there was a firmness and a brightness to the experience that just seemed to "blow away" any notion of "relationship" or caring about "others". Everything was simply one, the whole attempt to "care" was totally futile and non-existent.

Today my wife "absorbed" her pain-body and I didn't empathize. I did not feel her pain, I simply watched her absorption and witnessed it.

Tonight I went to the grocery again. The cashier asked me if plastic bags was OK. Normally I say something like "Thank you, but would you mind putting the rest in paper?" with an air of sympathy and sweetness. Instead I found myself replying with absolute clarity "no. I like paper better". Totally answering the question, no "filtering" reality at all. I wasn't mean about it, but totally honest without the slightest wisp of an attempt to "spin" my answer nicely. Then I said "please put the rest in paper". But it shocked the hell out of me. The truth is the non-dual arose again, the bagger wasn't someone else at all, they were me, and my "nice guy" persona was absolutely no where to be found.

I'm not quite sure what might be going on. It's sort of scary seeing all my "shoulds" evaporate and I wonder. . .
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Postby spatialbean » Thu Mar 23, 2006 12:00 pm

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Postby kiki » Thu Mar 23, 2006 5:32 pm

Right - "Mr. Nice Guy" is just part of the persona that the ego projects; egos want to be seen by others as nice, and so forth. To be seen that way by others is to validate who they take themselves to be. When they aren't seen the way the want to be then ego suffers - another strategy to keep itself intact.

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Postby Wings » Thu Mar 23, 2006 10:12 pm

Hi MC,

I'm not quite sure what might be going on. It's sort of scary seeing all my "shoulds" evaporate and I wonder. . .


The human mind can be very basic and after exposure to ET, I, like you, "initially"came away with an egoic/pain body identity struggle which ruthlessly ensued between mind stuff and spiritual release. IMHO, duality is mind tools the egoic/pain body team uses frantically to annihilate your spiritual witness. That which created your post appears to contain, part and parcel, the egoic/pain body stratagem telling you, yes, look at yourself, you’re not the Mr. Nice guy we christened you as, and therefore we’ll give you a hand full of recriminations to preoccupy yourself with “us.” Rather than just witnessing it and instead giving it the weight it’s pressing you for, that in and of itself, give the egoic/pain body team the credence it expects. If that doesn’t work the “team” can and will be unyielding if your ability to just witness without resistance subsides. :twisted:

This unconscious, unwitnessed kind of duality plays into and away from finding that peaceful space you seek but not sufficiently found because of the credence it demands and gets. Sorting between mental and spiritual is routine, which after years of pondering this journey and countless repetitive reruns, ones state of awareness witnesses enough whereby resistance to it is NOW minimal most of the time and peace is easier to be at one with.:)

Mental binging is always an available option but once you posses that very special personal space which uniquely brings you the kind of peace closer to what some call a resting place or home, I’ve found, binging takes away the genuine internal smile and that new fun little skip in your step………:D

Have a good day.. :lol:
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Postby MatthewCromer » Thu Mar 23, 2006 11:03 pm

Hi everyone! Thanks for the responses to "my" words.

Wings, don't worry, my fears and sufferings are pretty toothless at this point. Even the scary bad thoughts seem puffed up with air. I don't seem to be able to do a very good imitation of "mental anguish" anymore. I wrote a post on my blog "Unbelievable suffering" about this and will repost it here soon.

I remember driving down the road, screaming at "God" to make me more spiritual and just watching myself and almost chuckling. I couldn't "believe" in the antics of my ego anymore. Just couldn't take them very seriously. I figured if I can't even believe in my own temper tantrums like that it's probably time to stop throwing them.

I don't know if I am capable of real suffering anymore at this point. Now of course I hesitate to say that because ego says "God" is going to test you out on that one, and I have images of my family dying or some such tragedy. . . So of course I can suffer, ok "God" please forget everything I just said :-)
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Postby Wings » Fri Mar 24, 2006 12:11 am

So of course I can suffer, ok "God" please forget everything I just said


I forgive you my son.................... :lol:
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