Self Inquiry Is Addictive

[BradD]

Who is the one that is addicted?

Upon discovering John Sherman last week, the aspect of Self Inquiry has led me to put aside teachings, something that I haven't done in a long time, and inquire with the question "Who Am I?"

I get the sense that time spent listening to teachers and teachings is time better spent on self inquiry.

I spend every second I can , at work, in the car, in conversations - investigating what am I really?
But most of all I find myself Wanting to inquire because its limitless.

Who is inquiring even?

It's quenching this unbelievable thirst I've had for so long, so I will continue to do this as long as I live, every moment I can.

Shoot. I could've been spending more time on enquiry rather than typing this out

Wow

[the key master]

Liberated consciousness is your very essence. Freedom is your nature. The more you enquire-the more you realize what you are not. Shifting in consciousness from awareness of self to awareness of Self, to Being Self...what a sick concept! When you taste the truth behind this unfolding, there's no turning back. But that's just my experience...


Jason

[the key master]

I also notice that the sense that "I" am doing anything at all is nonexistent at times. Enquiry becomes natural, because being what you Are is natural. Then, as you seem to realize in your post, there's is no "one" here to enquire. I went hardcore for 3 1/2 months. Upon reflection, I find the mental process of enquiry taking place with less frequency, and the experience of Now as whole more prominent. The spiritual experiences along the way I did find initially addicting-or at least worth repeating. Upon reading Adyashanti's Emptiness Dancing, I quickly shed that as a motivating factor. What motivates now permeates within the Now, the pulsation of manifestation, spirit in its essence, You.

[dagobert]

with inquiry you allow your mind to see that this is not just it, that who you think you are is just a mind game, it allows you to desidentify.

when you no longer identify with your mind, this is awakening.

[kiki]

It is such a powerfully transforming question. Not everyone is ready for it, but for those who are there is nothing quite like it. Sounds like you were finally "ripe" for the picking. Good for you!

[eputkonen]

Self inquiry leads to stillness and quiet...just be quiet.

[Evolver]

When I ask this question to myself during meditation, I get no answer. It doesn't seem to help at all. At best it leads to more thoughts that go round in circles back to the original question "Who am I"?

Asking this question to myself now feels devoid of meaning, like I am just asking it because "that's what I'm supposed to do".

Any advice here?

On a more positive note, I do feel like I am witnessing my thoughts and feelings more frequently than in the past. I am worrying about the future less which is great and in that sense I am probably feeling more peaceful. Yet I still have a regular sense of unease and whilst I can say "I am not my thoughts or feelings", I still get wrapped up in them often. I really don't know who I am which feels frustrating, without a sense of purpose, only living life because I'm alive.

I'm not sure why I'm even writing this post, because I know the answer is just to be here now and wait patiently for joy to arise.

[Webwanderer]

When I ask this question to myself during meditation, I get no answer. It doesn't seem to help at all. At best it leads to more thoughts that go round in circles back to the original question "Who am I"?

Asking this question to myself now feels devoid of meaning, like I am just asking it because "that's what I'm supposed to do".

Any advice here?

Just for fun change your question to "what am I?" It takes the identity out of the question and focuses it upon essence.

The truth however, it that the question is unanswerable, because any definition is mental by nature and therefore a concept of mind. It's an exercise in the futility of knowing self through mental analysis. Once it's recognized that one's true nature is the awareness in which the inquirey spins, an awakening to clear presence is possible. In clear presence awareness (the Power of Now) one can see the distinction between thought based identification and the simplicity of aware being.

While thought and definitions may change over time, the awareness that perceives that thought, and the endless experience of life, is the one constant. It is what we are.

WW

[Evolver]

Thanks WW, yes I have tried the "What am I?" question as well (and others such as "What am I doing here?" or "Who am I right now?" etc)

I suppose you can ask yourself these questions a million times and never "realise" the answer. Maybe you just need to be ready before the answer spontaneously arises.

[Intel]

Evolver I know exactly how you feel. Don't worry too much about self inquiry. I truly think it comes naturally when one is ready. If it helps, it has been advised to ask this question until finally the questioner dissolves.

[Evolver]

Thanks Intel, I'll probably keep doing it but let go of any expectations of it.