My Awakening

Here you may share how the words Eckhart Tolle have affected your life.
karmarider
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Re: My Awakening

Post by karmarider » Sat Jun 13, 2009 5:13 am

Beautiful story E1lycat.

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Marcel Franke
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Re: My Awakening

Post by Marcel Franke » Sat Jun 13, 2009 8:40 am

L-Cat:
>I watched her get up, run around and start dancing, while at the same time shouting in the happiest manner, "Look! It's all >quiet! Everything is quiet! The rocks are quiet! The leaves are quiet! The door is quiet! It's a happy day!" She danced and >ran around the whole house, investigating if everything was 'quiet' and came back reporting that yes, everything and >everyone was 'quiet'. She shouted at her mother to 'be quiet', which was met with much surprise, irritation and confusion.

Brilliant !
---ooOoo---

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kiki
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Re: My Awakening

Post by kiki » Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:24 pm

Great story - thanks for sharing.
"Miss Kelly, perhaps you'd like this flower. I seem to have misplaced my buttonhole ... Miss Kelly, you know, when you wear my flower you make it look beautiful." Elwood P. Dowd
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arel
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Re: My Awakening

Post by arel » Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:38 pm

Hey E1lycat! Somehow I ended up reading a few of your lasts posts. That story of your niece almost brought tears to my eyes :)

You had doubts about wanting to post on here. And that being ego and all. But I think the human drive to connect with other people, even if over the internet, is as powerful as to eat, drink and be safe. Just felt like pointing that out.

I think I'll be reading your posts here more often, I like them :)
What I say is only my viewpoint.

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Re: My Awakening

Post by E1lycat » Sun Jun 14, 2009 9:50 am

Thanks arel. Glad you guys enjoyed it. I've had another similar sort of experience with my 4 yr old nephew, maybe I'll share later. :D

Lately I've been pondering this question, "How can I be no-thing and yet everything?" Not long after my last post, I attended a gathering for the 'headless way'. We did the experiments, and it changed my perspective on myself a whole lot. But throughout the whole time, I was feeling the sense that my realizations were not complete, that I didn't know the truth yet, and the question of no-thing and everything played on in the back of my mind throughout the whole time. Another question was, how did what I feel when I pointed at myself, match up with what I saw around me? There was still a sense of boundary, of being separate from everything I saw, even though in deep stillness there was a sense of recognition in everyone and everything. I was looking around the room and then blammo! That sense of there being a barrier got punched through and dissolved. And I saw it. And I can't describe it. I was simply no longer separate from everything I saw and heard. I am everything and no-thing. There was a rush of emotion, elation, joy, a big release. I nearly got up and danced around the room like my niece.

I was already feeling quite tired out when it happened, and was confused and disoriented for awhile after. There was a whole lot of emotional upheaval, resistances and tension throughout the rest of the day and night, and the following day. I could barely sleep despite my exhaustion, maybe I was asleep, but I was really aware of what was happening around me and inside me. It felt like my ego and pain body were having a massive tantrum and were severely pissed off and freaked out about what happened. I didn't really know what was going on but I just saw it all happen, and everything's settled abit now, though I keep having inexplicable urges to laugh and cry at the same time. When I look around me now I feel almost child-like in my wonder, and it's like im seeing everything for the first time. Anyway, I'm gonna go run around now and explore and enjoy while it lasts. See you all later!
I am in need of nothing but the truth

-ACIM-

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Re: My Awakening

Post by student2u » Sun Jun 14, 2009 7:17 pm

Hello everyone and E1lycat,

That was a beautiful story E1lycat! I felt the quietness (peace) even when your niece was shouting out loud and I love her big smile on her face – an angel's face :D

I was trying to “deal” with some kind of fear and someone wrote the following to me and I had an ahh HA moment which I hope may be of help or interest to you.

================
There is a small part in ACIM that says

Perfect love casts out fear.
If fear exists,
Then there is not perfect love.

But:

Only perfect love exists.
If there is fear,
It produces a state that does not exist.

It also says that the attempt of the mastery of fear is useless. In fact, it asserts the power of fear by the very assumption that it need be mastered. The true resolution rests entirely on the mastery through love.

Being afraid seems to be involuntary; something beyond your own control. The presence of fear shows that you have raised body thoughts to the level of the mind.

You would not excuse insane behavior on your part by saying you could not help it. Why should you condone insane thinking? There is a confusion here that you would do well to look at clearly. You may believe that you are responsible for what you do, but not for what you think. The truth is that you are responsible for what you think, because it is only at this level that you can exercise choice. What you do comes from what you think. You cannot separate yourself from the truth by "giving" autonomy to behavior. Whenever you are afraid, it is a sure sign that you have allowed your mind to miscreate.

It is pointless to believe that controlling the outcome of misthought can result in healing. When you are fearful, you have chosen wrongly. That is why you feel responsible for it. You must change your mind, not your behavior, and this is a matter of willingness. You do not need guidance except at the mind level. Correction belongs only at the level where change is possible. Change does not mean anything at the symptom level, where it cannot work.

The correction of fear is your responsibility. When you ask for release from fear, you are implying that it is not. You should ask, instead, for help in the conditions that have brought the fear about. These conditions always entail a willingness to be separate. At that level you can help it. You are much too tolerant of mind wandering, and are passively condoning your mind's miscreations. The particular result does not matter, but the fundamental error does.

Idle thoughts is a contradiction in terms, for there are no neutral thoughts. Every thought has an effect. You have but two emotions. One was given you and one you made. You can choose between either truth or illusion, love or fear, but it is your choice.

A tranquil mind is no small gift.
========================

P.S. I highlighted the “fundamental error” part. I'm still learning myself...

Light, peace and love to ALL :)
The Truth is revealed when the mind is completely out of the way...

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Re: My Awakening

Post by eagle2phoenix » Mon Jun 15, 2009 11:19 am

It is good that in this day and age, there is greater awareness about spirituality and awareness. Thanks to the Internet and the many teachers sent down to guide us. Thanks to forums such as this one. I remember when I was young, we could not talk about this kind of things. People would think that we are delusive. There was no one we could talk to about our experiences. And all we do is either to search for ourselves (and risk being called weird) or dismiss the experiences as unreal.

I recall an experience some 25 years ago, when I experienced spiritual uplifting at a Catholic retreat. I was feeling so much energy surging through me and I could not contain the feeling that I was weeping. No one knew what was happening and told me to take it easy. They tried praying over me. Now I know that that experience was one special encounter with my inner being.

Love and light
Life is fascinating. Nature is beautiful. Live life with nature.

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beYOND4m
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Re: My Awakening

Post by beYOND4m » Mon Jun 15, 2009 7:56 pm

E1lycat:

Up through this point, it's been fun reading your posts.

Congratulations on discovering the life we really are. :D

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Re: My Awakening

Post by E1lycat » Thu Jul 16, 2009 10:10 pm

The last experience that I wrote about didn't last long, as I expected it wouldn't. Even while I was going around feeling very 'not there', or as I called it, 'I disappeared and became the invisible woman' (hehe), resistances and negative thoughts and emotions were constantly there, even though I felt very, very disconnected from them. And it was three or four days before fear and distress set in and took over, and I felt like a separate person again.

Although now, I feel a sense of relaxation, of no worry. I know what I saw will never leave me, is always there, waiting to be uncovered, and occasionally I sense it. There was plenty of confusion and disorientation during and after the experience, and I'm still sorta adjusting to it, or to the memory of it, if that makes any sense.

But anyway, what I actually wanted to write about. A couple of days ago I made the subtle shift to Being. It uncovered a whole new deeper meaning to the word Presence and being in the Now. And now I can really start to see the constant lurching of my mind away from the Now. Almost every thought feels like a very subtle but evident lurch out of this naturalness of being. Still getting used to it too. But in being, the mind stops naturally. And in Being with my thoughts and emotions, it feels like a greater healing is taking place. And in Being, I feel more 'not there' than usual.

Of course, surprise surprise! It takes absolutely no effort to just BE. Although the constant lurching out of it feels like something that's been going on for so long that it takes constant reminders to er.. return to it. But it's like riding a bike. Like remembering how to ride a bike you rode on in ancient Sumerian times, or some other primordial age.

Ahh, words! Rambling, beautiful words. Sorry if none of it makes sense. But feel free to point me in the right direction. :D
I am in need of nothing but the truth

-ACIM-

sanjay
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Re: My Awakening

Post by sanjay » Fri Jul 17, 2009 11:21 am

Hello

Thanks for the thread
"Let Your Will Be Done, Not Mine."

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Sighclone
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Re: My Awakening

Post by Sighclone » Fri Jul 17, 2009 6:54 pm

E1lycat -
Almost every thought feels like a very subtle but evident lurch out of this naturalness of being. Still getting used to it too. But in being, the mind stops naturally. And in Being with my thoughts and emotions, it feels like a greater healing is taking place. And in Being, I feel more 'not there' than usual.
I have this great big busy mind, and a really pleasant personality and have always had a light ego. But, largely due to the mind, I'm really sort of about where you are...so these comments, which reflect my recent days well, are welcome!

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Re: My Awakening

Post by Ananda » Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:20 pm

Well, this is to Sighclone and E1lycat ;


If you can be aware of thoughts and yet also be aware of yourself, then you will know that you are not thoughts. Thoughts are on the periphery, whereas you are at the center. So all that is required is that subtle shift from the edge to the centre, from the thinking to the Self. If you are well established in yourself, thoughts will never again even remotely bother you, because you will see them from a distance, as something passing through - causing lots of noise. It's very helpful to know that you are always silent, so when there is noise you will know that it is not you.

Once you are established in yourself, in that silent being, there truly is nothing else you need do, nothing else you need to realise. That's the completion, that which is purely yourself only. To be aware of yourself is Self realisation. It's so hilariously simple, yet also so subtle in it's ordinariness that it is the most overlooked, and yet the most dear. Anything else is imagination, just thinking happening - and the thinker and doer itself just more thinking.

There's no end to the depth of your being, the further you dwell within yourself the less and less the dream of experience becomes, thoughts melt away, as you have already witnessed, the body too can drop off and all sense perception cease until the veil has well and truly been lifted, and there is nothing but that which you are- and which has always been the case.

:D

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Re: My Awakening

Post by E1lycat » Fri Jul 17, 2009 7:47 pm

You're welcome sanjay.

Thanks Ananda.

:D
I am in need of nothing but the truth

-ACIM-

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Re: My Awakening

Post by Sighclone » Sat Jul 18, 2009 12:03 am

Thanks, Ananda. Everything arises to me now, even the slightest frustration at a misplaced keystroke. I recognize that in the past I have added energy to those kinds of events, building stories and adding impact. My blood pressure has stabilized and my face shows no blemishes, my eyes are clearer, by breath deeper. Thoughts still surface often. But I have the "off switch" now, available as simply a resting place - even while walking or driving. Eckhart discusses that most do not have that switch, and I remember not having it, too.

My meditations now synch up real quickly with the inner body and breathing deepens, plus there are a few rapid, spontaneous asanas as I begin the meditation. There is no longer a mantra, just deep present silence. And the experience continues to deepen, with more subtle events...no real words for them...

Thanks for joining!

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Re: My Awakening

Post by E1lycat » Sun Jul 26, 2009 6:34 am

I feel no need to write in this thread anymore. :D Thank you for sharing this journey with me thus far. So long and thanks for all the fish!

Wishing you love, peace, and joy,
E1lycat
I am in need of nothing but the truth

-ACIM-

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