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losing enlightenment/getting it back issue.

Posted: Thu Apr 09, 2009 5:33 pm
by sikor
there is one thing that is troubling me right now. i am able to enter the awareness state, but it keeps fading after 1 day or few hours. after this there is a stage where there is me trying to remember how it felt, i can recall it for like 2 seconds but its not really it. it's like remembering how it feels when you're drunk. you can recall it to the point when you even actually feel being drunk, but the feeling disappears after few seconds. it's more ego believing it's drunk/aware. i keep fighting my ego, i keep noticing it and switch it off when it activates but it keeps coming back. i keep fooling myself that this is it. and after this at some moment it just clicks, and i know i'm in the real enlightenment state. this happened to me so many times, that now when im aware, i dont enjoy it like i used to because i know that it can fade any moment. i mean i don't feel the emotion of fear, but when it fades for 20th time than i know it may not last. i hate going to sleep enlightened because i usually wake up with ego (waking up still aware is one of the best feelings though). have you experienced this sort of problem? should i keep trying this way or change my approach somehow? did your enlightenment happend and just stayed there forever or did you have problems similar to mine? and how long it took you from the first real awakening, to the moment you can enter this state with not much effort? or perhaps it's still hard for you to come back? discuss ;)

Re: losing enlightenment/getting it back issue.

Posted: Fri Apr 10, 2009 5:29 am
by Sighclone
Many people experience a kind of "in and out" series of awakenings. Just let them all be without judgement. Permanent, abiding awareness is available to all of us. The final steps, or non-steps vary. You might pick up a copy of Gary Weber's "Happiness Beyond Thought" - he has several techniques in there which worked for him - plus lots of references to Ramana Maharshi.

Namaste, Andy