Death of a Friend (somewhat graphic)

Here you may share how the words Eckhart Tolle have affected your life.
Post Reply
User avatar
domokato
Posts: 365
Joined: Mon Nov 03, 2008 9:45 pm
Location: Bay Area, California
Contact:

Death of a Friend (somewhat graphic)

Post by domokato » Thu May 21, 2009 9:40 pm

About a month ago, my friend/landlord shot himself in the head in the garage in the middle of the night. My roommate woke me up and told me to come. I saw his twisted body laying there, his jaw still spasming in a look of surprise, a huge puddle of blood on the floor under his head. The room smelled of gunpowder. I calmly walked over and knelt down beside him while my roommate was busy being flustered and trying to describe the scene to 911. I debated whether to check his pulse, but something told me there was no point. Staring into his face, I knew his death would hurt those close to him, yet I was somehow at peace with all of it. Soon the police showed up, dragged us out of the house, and wrote down our stories. After a few hours, we packed up some stuff and drove to our parents' houses to sleep.

I sympathized deeply with our other roommate, a girl who was very close to the deceased. I cried with her at the gatherings in the following days. Funny thing was, the others thought I had taken it the hardest when in fact his death alone barely affected me. I recognized death as a part of life. And even though his death came sooner than usual, what happened happened and there's no other way it could've been. I was just trying to do my best to comfort those of us left behind.

From the testimonial of the one girl who was in the room when he did it, turns out it was an accident. He was trying to do a russian roulette trick he often did, but this time he was just too drunk. He always lived on the edge. We all moved back into the house, attended the funeral and the burial, and within weeks everything was almost back to normal. At least as normal as it could be.

Without the teachings of Eckhart, who knows what kind of emotionally wrecked state I would be in, and those around me might not be doing so well either. I'm glad we achieved balance again so quickly and still have a happy household despite the loss of a roommate.
~housecat

mohanrao786
Posts: 7
Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 12:31 am

Re: Death of a Friend (somewhat graphic)

Post by mohanrao786 » Tue Nov 09, 2010 9:01 pm

Hiii,

Sorry for the loss of your friend.Thanks for showing us the powerful example of acceptance

User avatar
smiileyjen101
Posts: 3796
Joined: Wed Sep 22, 2010 3:44 am

Re: Death of a Friend (somewhat graphic)

Post by smiileyjen101 » Wed Nov 10, 2010 5:48 am

Without the teachings of Eckhart, who knows what kind of emotionally wrecked state I would be in, and those around me might not be doing so well either. I'm glad we achieved balance again so quickly and still have a happy household despite the loss of a roommate.
Hi domakato, I too express my condolences on the loss of your room-mate. ET's teachings about acceptance are very important and you may need them in this situation for a while longer as the grief process moves along.

As you said,
within weeks everything was almost back to normal. At least as normal as it could be.
'Normal' is relative, and your normal may be a different sort of 'normal' for a while yet. Being honest with yourself is a good way to minimise the pain and the resultant pain body effects of such a tragedy so close to home.

If you, or any of your housemates/friends start to lose your footing on the roller coaster that can be grief, may I suggest taking a look at some of Dr Elisabeth Kubler-Ross' books - On Death and Dying was her first and On Grief and Grieving her last - and in between incredibly wise and practical discussions in the like of 'Death is of Vital Importance'.

Our society tends to be in denial about the reality of death being a part of life, but even with the acceptance there are often aspects that can remain buried in the short term that manifest unconsciously over time. Dr Kubler-Ross' books shed light on many of the aspects of life that Tolle discusses, but within the reality of grief.

If not only for you, they may be helpful for your friends, particularly the girl who was in the room at the time.

Namaste
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen

Post Reply