Missionary Zeal

Here you may share how the words Eckhart Tolle have affected your life.
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the key master
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Missionary Zeal

Post by the key master » Sun Jul 05, 2009 1:14 pm

When i first started reading about "spirituality", whatever that is, there was a mind inclination to discuss certain concepts with other people, even when the other people may not have been all that interested. With that said though, somewhere along the line I was conditioned to not want anything to change.

Two and a half weeks ago my friend tried to commit suicide. I wanted to go see him. I wanted to go help him. I didn't. I felt it wasn't my place. I felt that was a family matter. I thought that Im not supposed to want anything to change. 7 days ago I got a phone call to go hang out with that very same person. I wasnt around to take that call, and by the time I was, my friend wasn't here anymore.

Everything is not perfect as it is. Nothing needs to change for you to be what you are, but if you think you can make a difference in someones life, then reach out, give a hug. You might end up saving more than just a friendship...

PlutoISaplanet
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Re: Missionary Zeal

Post by PlutoISaplanet » Sun Jul 05, 2009 7:59 pm

Key Master, I am sorry for your loss. I think what you wrote is an important reminder. There have been spiritual teachers and followers throughout time that have justified inactivity by stating, "Everything is as it should be". But there is no reason to sit idly by while a person suffers. If I remember correctly, Tolle states that when you're in a situation that the mind has deemed "unacceptable", you should work to either change the situation or determine how to leave it.

We're all interdependent and, as such, will always have an effect on those around us. In your case, the outcome may or may not have changed - that's impossible to determine. The worst thing about suicide is the feeling of helplessness those who are left behind experience, the question of, "What could I have done to change this?"

the key master
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Re: Missionary Zeal

Post by the key master » Sun Jul 05, 2009 10:15 pm

Thanks Pluto.

There is human aspect to everything we discuss on this board, and I feel as though that can easily be spiritualized away. Even the simplicity of accepting what is. The first 6 months of this year seemed geared toward showing me just how much I can accept. Yes I can accept my friend is suicidal. Does that mean I shouldnt do something about it.

I once heard that only the ego in me would want to change the ego in others, or some such assinine statement. Statements like this show such a misperception of the illusory egoic identity it nauseates me. Or when I see Oprah on one of her webcasts, saying stupid things like "Oh I guess thats just my ego talking..." and Tolle sits idly by and nods. I wouldnt be nodding. I would tell her no you twit its not your ego now please stop talking for the sake of everyone.

Well anyways, I feel a rant coming on, so I will stop it here. I do appreciate your words Pluto, but ultimately this isn't about me, its about all of us. My actions in this situation were affected by enlightenment discussions, although I couldn't say definitively my actions would have been any different. Im not beating myself up. I am sad, but life goes on, always...

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Sighclone
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Re: Missionary Zeal

Post by Sighclone » Tue Jul 07, 2009 6:53 am

KM -

I had a similar experience many years ago - received an odd letter from a high-school chum. It was a cry for help -- I did not respond...he jumped off a bridge.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

the key master
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Re: Missionary Zeal

Post by the key master » Thu Jul 09, 2009 5:46 am

Thanks SC.

Soul Seeker
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Re: Missionary Zeal

Post by Soul Seeker » Sat Jul 11, 2009 2:49 am

I haven't posted for a while - have been away

Sorry for your lost Key Master - I have had two friends die though not by their own hand - that would have been very hard

I have made this comment in another thread here and it may be worth repeating - I remind myself about this a lot - I read it in Wake Up Now by Stephan Bodian - an excellent book; the core paradox - everything is perfect as it is but if the roof leaks fix it.

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Re: Missionary Zeal

Post by Sighclone » Sat Jul 11, 2009 6:11 am

Kind of reminds me of a question someone once asked Martin Luther:

"If you knew the world was going to end tomorrow, what would you do?"

His answer: "Plant corn anyway."

At least that is how I remember it.

You are going to be hearing more of these kinds of things from me...awakening does not necessarily mean isolation in meditative bliss and certainly does not mean not enjoying a pizza. Why would anyone want to fully understand and experience all the truths of the universe in one big infinitely aware cosmic bundle of nothing/everything if it meant we don't get to enjoy just dinking around in the garage, or weeding, or talking to a self-proclaimed unenlightened old friend. We have enough high-toned and challenging statements like "You are not a person -- you are Pure Consciousness." And I have typed many of them. They are fine. They are true. But they might tend to suggest that you don't get to have any fun.

Adya warns that whatever your image of waking up is, that it is wrong. If yours includes losing all your friends and sitting in a dull state and being sad...well, that's certainly wrong!!!

There is a book titled "Everyday Sacred" by Sue Bender. It is not a nondual text per se, but has a few pointers. The main strength of the book is the title and its general tone. I think many of the Zen koan and haiku are gentle reminders not that the mind needs to tamed or transcended (although they have that effect), but that nature is utterly beautiful and divine. When mountains become mountains again, they are that much more glorious. Even when it rains.

Namaste, Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Re: Missionary Zeal

Post by HermitLoon » Sat Jul 11, 2009 2:26 pm

Yes Andy :)
Rather than apathy, "realization", for "me", has meant that i have given this body/mind permission to joyfully experience and explore anything that appears during this fleeting Human Experience of "now" - without any mental or emotional limitations whatsoever!

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samadhi
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Re: Missionary Zeal

Post by samadhi » Sat Jul 11, 2009 4:37 pm

I'm also sorry for your loss.

We're all learning all the time. There's no endpoint in life when there aren't new things to learn, new ways of perceiving things.

It's very difficult juggling the approach to 'let everything be as it is' with taking action in the world. 'Letting everything be' when adopted as a rigid belief system can be harmful - after all, if you followed that to extremes you'd never get out of bed or feed yourself. Obviously there has to be a balance.

Maybe the key is acceptance of everything as it is, while allowing spontaneous right action to occur, by being aligned with the needs of the present moment.

Living in this world as an awakened being is like riding the waves of the surf...it's about always maintaining proper balance and alignment, not being too rigid in your approach but constantly being present with current conditions as they present themselves and adjusting accordingly.

I thank you for sharing your words and giving us this reminder.

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Onceler
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Re: Missionary Zeal

Post by Onceler » Sat Jul 11, 2009 7:43 pm

I read a story Bryon Katie told of a cousin who called her at 2 AM with a pistol to his head and said, "give me one reason to live." She was silent and thought and thought, but could not find any, which she stated. He broke down and cried, said that no one had ever been this honest with him and did "the work" over the phone. She freely admitted he might have shot himself....but she had given him the only honest answer she could in that moment.

Your response to your friend was only one you could give at the time. Period. Next time things may be different.
Be present, be pleasant.

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RCharles
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Re: Missionary Zeal

Post by RCharles » Sun Jul 12, 2009 7:40 pm

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, Key Master. Your story helps us all to realize that being at peace with what is need not prevent us from taking action to comfort a friend. We may not be able to change another person's thinking, but we can always offer comfort and friendship. In such a case, that may be all that's needed.

Now I hope you can work through and let go of any feelings you may have about the situation. At the time, you did not know what to do, and there is no reason to hold yourself accountable for what you did not know. Now you do know what to do, and if there is a next time, you will be ready. Sharing your experience also helps prepare those of us who read your story. Who knows, but maybe your posted story on this forum will save another life or lives.

Peace be with you.

RC
"They are all...perfect..." --Ken Watanabe, dying scene in the movie The Last Samurai

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