thank you RCharles for postingRCharles wrote:Lowrey, first, I'm sorry you're still having the panic attacks, but it does appear that they come and go, so it's good that you get periods of relief and life is not one big panic attack. Second, it is possible for PON to contribute to this condition. As you focus on being present and letting go of ego, your ego may resist being booted off center stage. Basically, like a little child, it throws a temper tantrum, which can be anger, panic, or any number of emotions. Also, as your mind quiets down, emotional issues deeper down in your psyche may tend to surface.
If you need temporary relief, you can just stop practicing presence and spirituality for a while. The symptoms will probably subside. Over the long term, practicing will probably help you overcome the very things you are struggling with, but you may need to take it in small doses and then back off if you feel overwhelmed. If you just can't handle it at all, then that's just the way it is, and maybe PON is not for you. You are absolutely right that no one can tell you for certain that PON will heal and not harm you. Do what you feel is best for your own peace of mind.
I hope you are able to find a measure of inner peace, one way or another.
"spirituality" and "practising presence" doesn't have ANY effect on my condition. this is why I start to diminish the fear that "after reading Tolle I killed my personality". in my "clear" moments, I know that there is no such thing as "practising presence robs destroys your personality", and that Tolle only helped me. What I FEEL is, sometimes the opposite.
I'm a strong mf so I will go through this, I been through a lot so the chance I give up or become suicidal is about zero.