Pain body when waking up

Talk about anything Tolle-related here.

Pain body when waking up

Postby pausesmile » Sun Sep 24, 2017 2:54 am

When we wake up, it seems like the pain body is at its worst. I try not to have breakfast with my wife because I know her pain body is so strong before she gets her coffee and some food. I am also not the nicest person when I wake up. I like to go jogging in the yard first thing in the morning. My worst pain body is when my wife wakes me up for some unjustified reasons. Eckhart Tolle explains the pain body in great details but never mentions the waking up pain body.
pausesmile
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Jun 29, 2017 3:40 am

Re: Pain body when waking up

Postby Mystic » Sun Sep 24, 2017 4:33 am

Negative thoughts and emotions can bring you immediately into the present moment when you learn to recognize them and not identify with them. As Eckhart Tolle says, it can be a great spiritual practice.

Usually in the morning right after waking up, I become still for five or ten minutes and meditate upon the breath.

Pain bodies are very seducing and they love to feed on violent movies ...with popcorn... :D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BOYERp-2nA



.
User avatar
Mystic
 
Posts: 235
Joined: Tue Apr 07, 2015 10:29 am

Re: Pain body when waking up

Postby painBody » Mon Sep 25, 2017 2:45 am

Your post's title was all I needed to read :D

I'm no expert, but I do have an observation to share. Now, keep in mind that I live with the most unconscious/unenlightened person you can imagine.

When she wakes up, she is unbelievably unconscious - ferociously angry for no reason, throws things around (at me and otherwise around the room), breaks things, complains about the neighbors, about me, about her life, about "the world not being fair to her", etc. Almost all my fights with her have occurred right after her waking up in the morning.

So, yes, it does seem that way.

As for my own pain body, I don't think it's particularly strong when I wake up. I can say that I am most depressed when I wake up, because the sunlight and having to face another day of human insanity depresses me. I am most peaceful (and perhaps even "happy") at night.
painBody
 
Posts: 384
Joined: Fri Aug 12, 2016 10:25 pm
Location: Not on this forum

Re: Pain body when waking up

Postby pausesmile » Mon Sep 25, 2017 9:32 am

Thanks Mystic, deep breathing and becoming aware of our unconsciousness is a great way to overcome the morning blues. Thanks Mr Painbody, are you sure we don't have the same wife? My dear significant other, not only throws things at me, she also throws things at the wall and is very gifted at making holes... She finally started counseling about a month ago, we also went on vacation for 2 weeks, so she was free of her anger outbursts. Then last week end, after I criticized her for putting our toddler in front of the computer too early in the day, she relapsed. Her relapse was so severe, I had to call her therapist to ask her to see her more often. The wife pretending to be busy was only scheduling herself twice a month. I know ET doesn't like us to label people, but I believe she has a borderline personality. With her constant slamming the doors, hanging up on the phone etc, she fits the profile. I really want her to get better, separation does not seem to be an option because I don't want to lose my son and I would be too afraid to leave him with her. I really try to not react to her provocations and to reinforce her positives...
pausesmile
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Jun 29, 2017 3:40 am

Re: Pain body when waking up

Postby painBody » Mon Sep 25, 2017 11:41 pm

pausesmile wrote:Thanks Mr Painbody, are you sure we don't have the same wife?


Oh God, no ! This person is not my wife. She is just an acquaintance. No one deserves enough punishment to be married to her. She's got a good heart, and I can see it on the rare occasions when she's relaxed. But, I honestly do feel that she is too far gone. Also, she is developed in years, so the conditioning really has a hold on her. It's much harder to undo 50 years of bad conditioning than 25 years. She's definitely borderline (yes, I'm familiar with BPD too), and I would even venture so far as to say borderline psychotic. If there is a "bright side" to my life, it is that I'm not stuck being married to someone like her, because one of us would end up dead. She is going through hell, and I feel sorry for her, but also clearly see that she is certainly beyond my help and probably beyond all help.

I feel a deep empathy for you, because I understand what you must go through. Your situation is much more challenging because you can't just walk out. I wish I could offer you any advice. Honestly, with a person like that, I don't know if anything helps or even can help. With my roommate, I've tried being patient and present, I've tried shouting back, I've tried having calm but serious talks (even long talks about ET), I've tried it all. In the best case, she calms down for a few minutes or hours, and then the following morning, it starts all over again, as if our talks never happened. The conditioning ... the pain body ... is just too strong, its momentum too great. It's like putting up a picket fence to hold back an avalanche coming down a mountain ... futile.

At the end of the day, I know I'm going to run far far away from this person someday ... and that that is the only thing that will resolve the situation. Every person's first loyalty is to him/herself, whether one wants to admit it or not. I need to preserve my sanity, which is, after all, all I have.

I can't decide what's best for you, but, at some point, you might consider saving yourself. And, I think you could do that without abandoning your son. I don't know how, but I just know. It is just not easy. I really feel for you.
painBody
 
Posts: 384
Joined: Fri Aug 12, 2016 10:25 pm
Location: Not on this forum

Re: Pain body when waking up

Postby meetjoeblack » Wed Nov 15, 2017 7:21 am

pausesmile wrote:When we wake up, it seems like the pain body is at its worst. I try not to have breakfast with my wife because I know her pain body is so strong before she gets her coffee and some food. I am also not the nicest person when I wake up. I like to go jogging in the yard first thing in the morning. My worst pain body is when my wife wakes me up for some unjustified reasons. Eckhart Tolle explains the pain body in great details but never mentions the waking up pain body.


Pain body is no different. The situation maybe but, at the core, it equates to suffering.There is no escaping it. I am reading through the yoga Sutras, Sanskrit, and meditation. According to the Yoga Sutras, the klesha (troubles) are: ego, attachment, aversion, ignorance, and clinging to this life. A yogi establishes one's unity with God through relinquishing one's consciousness of said obstacles.

We're all on this journey my friend. I am a single man. I wish I had a wife that would wake me up along with children to set off a pain body. My pain body seeks marriage, my queen, wifey, children, and therefore I am attached to that construct. Furthermore, when dating, I experience aversion, seeking my freedom, and therefore, even getting what I truly want from my heart of hearts sets off my pain body. You suffer wanting, desire, lust, needing, attached. You get what you want and you suffer.

I have been reading over the Gita; about being 'unattached to the fruits of my labor.' Reading John verse 1: "In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God. And the word is God." Reading St. Paul, "I've learned to be content." As in, it is not our baseline consciousness. We seek freedom from our suffering in a variety of sources but, there is no transcending of it. Its happening. "This is our life and its ending one minute at a time." - TD. Nihilistic and cynical as it maybe. Being sentient, consciousness, knowing of our impending doom brings suffering and yet, because it is ending, it makes everything all the more beautiful.

I read a book that mentioned of a book on 5 daily habits. It spoke of starting off the day making your bed. Why? To set off that feeling of accomplishment. Document 3 things you want to do or need to do. Write three affirmations to set your day off and three things you are grateful for. End day off with three wins of the day. Three things you could do better/improve on? I need to get back to writing. It was a great way to start my day. I currently meditate when I first wake up and before bed. I found this is my ideal way to subside my pain body and suffering.

God bless my friend. A wise man once reminded me that, "its the journey. Not the destination." Now, if only I could spend more meditating with that in mind. :)
meetjoeblack
 
Posts: 235
Joined: Mon Aug 01, 2011 3:49 am

Re: Pain body when waking up

Postby RobS » Thu Nov 30, 2017 10:50 pm

pausesmile wrote:When we wake up, it seems like the pain body is at its worst. I try not to have breakfast with my wife because I know her pain body is so strong before she gets her coffee and some food. I am also not the nicest person when I wake up. I like to go jogging in the yard first thing in the morning. My worst pain body is when my wife wakes me up for some unjustified reasons. Eckhart Tolle explains the pain body in great details but never mentions the waking up pain body.


The mornings can be like this for many people. For many years I was not to be spoken to in the morning. Once my awakening kicked into a hihh gear, thus dissipated. My wife was particularly like this when we first met. She used even punch someone for waking her when she was younger - it was a reflex reaction while still sleeping apparently, although I was never on the receiving end myself.

I accepted that this is how she is, that her pain body was very active in the morning and I got on with it. Over the years we’ve been together, as my presence grew so did hers. Don’t resist what is. Accept how you are in the morning, accept how she is. It’s okay even to laugh and joke about it when you both calm down.

Many years later, and now my wife wakes up with a smile on her face and has even started reading the Power of Now recently. I never asked her to read it, she just said one day she wanted my copy. It’s amazing watching my presence waken her. You can do this too. Accept what it is, surrender to the present moment and you’ll see the difference.
RobS
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2017 10:30 pm


Return to General Eckhart Tolle Discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google Adsense [Bot] and 2 guests