Am I trying too hard to get into the Now

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Am I trying too hard to get into the Now

Postby Mental » Wed Jan 23, 2013 11:38 pm

There have been instances in my life where I have been anchored in the Now. There have been other instances where the Now seemingly slips away from my grasp for some reason. Now, it seems that during these phases whereI am not fully present, my only goal is to get back into the Now. Pretty much this journey consumes my life. I put aside goals that I must complete in order to progress in life in order to find the Now and become one with my self again.

This struggle is consuming me to a point where I have no energy. I have class work that needs to be done, but I (my ego?) thinks I must be in the now to produce anything of quality. I need to find an apartment for next year, but I think I am not capable enough to do that unless I am in the Now. It is so consuming that it is the only thing I know. My only quest is to get into the Now, and if I cant, everything else is a failure.

I can remember two instances where I have read certain pointers that have given me a feeling of realization which completely eliminated my ego. After reading these pointers, it felt like my soul was released from prison and all mental and physical barriers were shattered. This is the place I seek to be, but cannot get there.

I am thinking of just letting go of this quest to seek the Now and just try to enjoy my life as much as I can. In my current state, time feels as if it creeps by. I feel trapped between two states of consciousness. I am not overtaken by ego but I am not fully present. Is this even possible?

I have been posting on this forum in an attempt to fix this. I have things in my life that I need to do, but I know I will do them so much better if I am fully present. Its like I feel there is no point in doing anything unless I am present.

Thoughts?
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Re: Am I trying too hard to get into the Now

Postby smiileyjen101 » Thu Jan 24, 2013 12:38 am

It's very simple to understand reading your post, your focus - your energy flowing is in the 'trying' and 'finding' not the being.

The now didn't go anywhere - you did in your mind - you went from being in acceptance, enjoyment (putting joy into) and enthusiasm (being the arrow flying towards a target and being aware of the fullness of every moment) to 'trying to be' and 'looking for - trying to find' something that is not hidden from you. You're playing hide and seek with your self!


Stop TRYING - trying, is an activity all of its own and it goes nowhere and achieves nothing because in order to be trying one must not have succeeded or failed to DO something!
Yoda famously says, “No. Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try."


Stop SEARCHING - searching is an activity that sets BEING apart from where you are, puts obstacles and enemies (including your poor ego) and judgements and means to an end expectations between you and what you are doing and BEING right now. You didn't put on an invisible cloak and hide under a rock or in a cave, you only think you did and the fun begins. You cannot find that which is not lost!!!

My only quest is to get into the Now, and if I cant, everything else is a failure.

Is that making an enemy, obstacle or means to an end of being? Nice excuse though, passionate, certain, will work every time!!

I put aside goals that I must complete in order to progress in life in order to find the Now and become one with my self again.

Yep, it's much more fun playing hide and seek with yourself than doing what needs doing. :roll:

I am thinking of just letting go of this quest to seek the Now and just try to enjoy my life as much as I can.

This is nearly perfect... but heck let's throw in the 'thinking about it', it's putting off the being, and there's the ole 'try' word, just in case anyone judges me, and then lets qualify it as being all about you and limited 'much as I can'.

ET might suggest either BE in a state of acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm, or stop what you are DOING.
So then this would read....
I am enjoying my life
or
I enjoy my life.

No choice is wrong - if you want to play hide and seek and 'try' instead of do...go right ahead, it just brings a different experience.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com
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Re: Am I trying too hard to get into the Now

Postby tod » Sat Jan 26, 2013 12:11 am

Mental wrote:I have things in my life that I need to do, but I know I will do them so much better if I am fully present. Its like I feel there is no point in doing anything unless I am present.

Thoughts?


Notice that there may be some discomfort in getting yourself (ego) to do things that need to be done, but that once these things are under way this discomfort tends to lift; it may be noticed that what does not want to do things is an attitude - a mental positioning of oneself in mind (IOW ego) - and that there is a natural 'drifting back' to presence after a while with no mental positioning of oneself (ie self definition) and thus an enjoyable flow of action resumes.
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Re: Am I trying too hard to get into the Now

Postby Onceler » Sat Jan 26, 2013 5:01 am

I dropped the whole spiritual search about a year ago. It was becoming so dull and tedious...and stressful!!. Best thing I ever did.....when I stopped stalking truth like a creeper, I found that truth came looking for me. Live your life, that's what we humans were meant to do. Play hard to get and truth will come around knocking over the trash cans in your yard, setting your dog to barking.....
Be present, be pleasant.
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Re: Am I trying too hard to get into the Now

Postby randomguy » Sat Jan 26, 2013 8:59 pm

I like the suggestion Adyashanti has given, "Go ahead and try to leave the present moment.". I take it as an invitation to see that your true nature is always present and that the observed states of more or less now while doing whatever are just observed states, observed by what is always present and can not even be adequately described as now.
Do the yellow-rose petals
tremble and fall
at the rapid's roar?
- Basho
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Re: Am I trying too hard to get into the Now

Postby Mental » Sun Jan 27, 2013 12:07 am

Thanks for the suggestions guys. Its weird though because I seek this state of mind in order to function in society. I keep noticing that I frequently stutter and it seems that my knowledge is diminished.

When I am in the Now and not identified with my self conscious ego, I am truly myself and feel like I have unlimited potential. But in my current state, I am constantly thinking and worrying about the future. The weird part is I realize this but I don't know what to do about it.

Its strange, because during my initial ego-death experience, it seems like I have literally lost the ability to think. I know I am an intelligent person, but I cannot access this intelligence without being fully conscious. When I am fully conscious, important things come to mind, I recognize them, and then they are dismissed. However in my current unconscious state, all of the thoughts my mind produces are about me, and degrade me. Due to this, all real life duties I have seem to slip past me. Also in this state, it feels like I am just drifting through time and just reflecting on myself. I do not feel aware, even though sometimes I sit without thoughts in my mind, the feeling I have in my body is still there.

I think my ego is distorting the view of the Now and making it something that I must achieve. This is highly problematic because it gets in the way of all relationships. Another thing that I constantly think about is that in order to eliminate my ego, I must read something that resonates with me and leads me to truly realize that the voice in my head is not me. This happened frequently while reading the power of now and also some posts on this forum triggered this realization. So, I think my ego is twisting this to make it seem like the Now is a place I will achieve in the future, which I know is not true, but I do not truly KNOW this, if you know what I mean. I dont truly believe it.

Is this my ego talking? I am not sure if anyone is able to tell just by reading this.
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Re: Am I trying too hard to get into the Now

Postby tod » Sun Jan 27, 2013 10:31 pm

Mental wrote:When I am in the Now and not identified with my self conscious ego, I am truly myself and feel like I have unlimited potential. But in my current state, I am constantly thinking and worrying about the future. The weird part is I realize this but I don't know what to do about it.


You realise that you are not as you say a "self conscious ego" and that you have "unlimited potential" so just be that, and see that it is by 'going back into thought' ie identifying yourself as some thing, you are in a very real seeming way, objectifying yourself (seeing yourself as an object) in a thought bound realm.

Its strange, because during my initial ego-death experience, it seems like I have literally lost the ability to think. I know I am an intelligent person, but I cannot access this intelligence without being fully conscious. When I am fully conscious, important things come to mind, I recognize them, and then they are dismissed.


So just be conscious, be consciousness, not thought bound.

So, I think my ego is twisting this to make it seem like the Now is a place I will achieve in the future, which I know is not true, but I do not truly KNOW this, if you know what I mean. I dont truly believe it.


You mean that when you think of yourself, ie objectify yourself, then, you (ego), in your thought bound world, cannot believe/know that you are not really in time, that you cannot really be objectified?

And when you do not think of yourself, where are you? In your unlimited potential - ie not defined, objectified?
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Re: Am I trying too hard to get into the Now

Postby lakeswimr » Thu Jan 31, 2013 3:53 pm

I think you got some great replies already. :)

It sounds like you want to 'achieve being in the NOW' in order to have this super intelligence in order to do everything to the best possible level. This sounds to me like ego wanting to use the NOW to increase itself and that is not what living in the NOW is.

Living in the NOW is living life unobstructed by ego. It comes from accepting what is, not trying to get out of what is. That doesn't mean not making changes or taking action but taking action that comes from accepting the world as it is at this very moment.

What I like doing is thinking of things for which I feel gratitude and people I love and also focusing on my inner body. If my mind isn't very active and upset and I focus on my inner body I feel a pleasant feeling--joy, peace, love. To me that feeling is the NOW. I'm that and that is in me and everywhere. Can you get still and become aware of that in and around you? Eckhart Tolle has some nice CDs that I found very effective at helping me become re-aware of this when I lose it (which I do, over and over but that's OK, too!) Gateways to Now is VERY good IMO. It has ET talking through several methods of presence awareness. You might really like it. And his 'Stillness Speaks' CD is very good, too. Some of his CDs are more meditative and so are much more direct at helping me remember presence. Others are more talky but also do the same thing. You could sample some and see what you like.

You could also just go to youtube and watch some ET videos. That alone always puts me in a different state. :)
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Re: Am I trying too hard to get into the Now

Postby stormy » Sun Feb 03, 2013 2:00 am

In some way I consider myself relatively new to Eckhart's teachings. But I figured I'd offer something.

I remember in one of Eckhart's videos... a person mentions something about seeking to be in the now.

And Eckhart responds by saying that we don't have to seek to be in the now. We can just be aware that we already are in the present moment.

I saw a commenter under one of Eckhart's videos write something like, "We don't have to try to get rid of the ego; just be aware of it."

Maybe that applies to seeking to be in the now. A person doesn't have to try to stop seeking the present moment. He or she can be aware of the seeking.
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