"Gay" forcing me out of unconsciousness

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samadhi
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Re: "Gay" forcing me out of unconsciousness

Post by samadhi » Fri Apr 10, 2009 2:24 pm

I'm so grateful for this thread. I also happen to be gay, which as yougarksoo said, is something which totally possesses you when you're growing up - it's like a part of you you're fighting, a negative identity and something you're really scared will alienate you and bring you suffering. Once you finally accept that part of yourself it can then switch from being a negative identity into a positive identity and, like yougarksoo said, it's something you defend and stand up for.

But any form of self-identification is ultimately illusory and I came to realise that. I no longer identify myself as "being gay" any more than I identify myself as being "blue eyed" or "Scottish"...that doesn't mean I deny any of those facts, I just don't relate to them as comprising who I am anymore. So being gay isn't any issue anymore than a person being straight is an issue - it's just part of the form.

When it comes to dealing with all the anti-gay hatred out there, I must admit it still stings, even though I no longer give any special credence to being gay. But then I'm still affected by a lot of the suffering that man inflicts on man and I don't entirely want to mute that sensitivity, because it instils compassion in me and fuels me to be very active on social, political and environmental issues. I accept the unacceptable but I still have a deep compulsion to do what I can to help eliminate the suffering, prejudice and cruelty in the world. Some nondualists would probably scoff at that and tell me that I'm simply not 'advanced' enough to see that 'suffering' and 'cruelty' are just judgements I should let go off - I've encountered that perspective and if that's fine with them I'm happy, but for myself I want to keep that heart connection open and continue to work to alleviate suffering and prejudice. So, if I ever encounter homophobic attitudes, I endeavour to fully accept but also to educate and promote tolerance and understanding. Not because they are threatening my ego identity, but because their attitudes are liable to create suffering for others.

Yes, I am greatly drawn to the 'bodhisattva' ideal. Not so much as a role...but more because I believe it is a salient reminder of our true nature. (that's probably a whole other topic - I apologise for the diversion). Once again thanks for starting this topic, I have greatly enjoyed reading everyone's posts.

HowToKnowGod
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Re: "Gay" forcing me out of unconsciousness

Post by HowToKnowGod » Sun Apr 19, 2009 5:00 am

I'm not gay, but I what E.T. said about that really made sense when I read it. It's unfortunate that so many gays end up totally identifying with their sexual orientation instead of who they are, the observer. They had the chance when they were younger when they saw they didn't fit in. Then they just started to "fit in" with a different group, like that Buck guy on Youtube. Instead of being an observant human, he's fallen into the trap of the annoying gay gossip man.

samadhi
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Re: "Gay" forcing me out of unconsciousness

Post by samadhi » Sun Apr 19, 2009 9:09 pm

HowToKnowGod wrote:I'm not gay, but I what E.T. said about that really made sense when I read it. It's unfortunate that so many gays end up totally identifying with their sexual orientation instead of who they are, the observer. They had the chance when they were younger when they saw they didn't fit in. Then they just started to "fit in" with a different group, like that Buck guy on Youtube. Instead of being an observant human, he's fallen into the trap of the annoying gay gossip man.
I know it's very tragic when I see other gay people so identified with being gay that 'gay' is the predominant part of their identity. I think a large part of the problem is that when you are gay, to a large proportion of non-gay people that's ALL you are in their eyes; 'gay'. You are reduced to a label and nothing more. It's easy to fall for that, particularly if the world is continually reinforcing this label and its supposed importance. I try to get some gay people to realise that being gay is merely incidental, in the same way that having blue eyes as opposed to brown eyes is incidental; its no more or less important. I sometimes muse that being gay is probably one of the least interesting things about me....and yet for some people it's probably the only thing they see when they find out I am gay. Their problem, of course! A lot of people might fall for that and buy into that shared illusion. I don't, won't. What others think of me is their business, not mine. Sadly for a lot of people, their identity is defined by what others tell them about their identity.

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Elise
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Re:

Post by Elise » Fri May 01, 2009 9:51 am

What a wonderful thread yougarksoo THANK YOU THANK YOU I love listening to you express your journey
heidi wrote:Outside the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing
there is a field; I'll meet you there.
(Rumi)
Heidi, this freaking blew me away! :)

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sliccy
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Re: "Gay" forcing me out of unconsciousness

Post by sliccy » Fri May 29, 2009 7:05 pm

First of, thank you for creating this thread. It has been very self realizing for me.
made be feel like an alien
That really rang a bell in my head. After all I literally am an alien, being born in Europe and having a multi-cultural/national background. When I moved to the states in my early teens my perspective on things changed dramatically. In a way it was a very depressing part of my life, but I am grateful I had that experience. It enabled me to really just spectate, and observe people. The way people behaved, talked, communicated to one another. I also had something to compare it with, since I am not born American. I guess some where along the way I started looking for what was right, how do you really treat someone else? What is life? Is there such a thing as hell? (Sorry I am really excited I just realized this about myself so I might be skipping out on things) It always felt to me as if there was a disconnect between people, the way we behave, and interact with one another.

Now that I look back at it, all these questions that I had triggered me to read all books I read, watch all the videos I watched, and meet all the people I met. Now I am here, still in the process of learning about presence.

I'd like to finish this post with a quote by Dan Millman

"Trust the process of your life unfolding "


Andy

Tony-S-Ma
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Re: "Gay" forcing me out of unconsciousness

Post by Tony-S-Ma » Fri May 29, 2009 9:06 pm

Sexual orientation becomes a non-issue after one becomes a true wanderer in life.

Gay Tony

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Sighclone
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Re: "Gay" forcing me out of unconsciousness

Post by Sighclone » Sun May 31, 2009 9:27 pm

Welcome sliccy! I hope you enjoy your tour here...

- another Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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sliccy
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Re: "Gay" forcing me out of unconsciousness

Post by sliccy » Mon Jun 01, 2009 3:38 pm

Thank you Sighclone, I am happy to be here.

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Marcel Franke
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Re: "Gay" forcing me out of unconsciousness

Post by Marcel Franke » Tue Jun 02, 2009 7:03 pm

yougarksooo :

>Once I came out, I identified too strongly for years with my homosexuality.
>That was who I was. As a result, anything that anyone said which could be construed as ignorant or homophobic or even
>slightly anti-gay was seen by me as a threat to who I was, something I needed to attack the person on and defend myself
>from. I was overly sensitive and fragile in that identity. Also, before the shift, being gay, coming out, the "struggle" for
>acceptance, the people who were "homophobic" was one big story I was telling myself and others.
>I was lost in that. Straight people were the "others."

You are (were) Daffyd !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhcUH-SaCmo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLSP05bGHkU

etc., etc..
---ooOoo---

karmarider
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Re: "Gay" forcing me out of unconsciousness

Post by karmarider » Tue Jun 02, 2009 7:16 pm

I seem to remember ET said or wrote that gay people (alienated people) are closer to enlightenment than the general population.

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sliccy
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Re: "Gay" forcing me out of unconsciousness

Post by sliccy » Tue Jun 02, 2009 7:30 pm

Thanks for bringing that up karmarider, I heard him say that before but it didn't make much sense until you just mentioned it.

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