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Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 2:31 am
Oh! too haht tzay!
This is NOT off topic & i do not laugh at what you experienced!
In the beginning of all the bombs that dropped on me, there was a point when I actually asked God to take my life. I was done. I could no longer bear the hurt, the pain. And I heard this inner voice (gosh I have goosebumps replaying this): "alright, my child, I will take you, but you have to leave your little dog behind." Oh, man did I collapse! I couldn't leave her, I realized. I pulled myself up and fought onward
So here we are together, my little dog and I. The universe was willing to grant my request. But there was relief ahead. Man, it has taken so long, but I am so grateful!
So many lessons it seems our souls take us to learn....
Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 7:19 pm
Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 7:46 pm
you have to leave your dog behind
Posted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 11:12 pm
I like the part where the Creator said you'd have to leave your dog behind! Now that was funny!
You have to leave your dog behind can be rephrased to (with essentially same message but from a different angle):
Suicidal person is always
completely self absorbed (thinking about achieve the goals of little me, which is always much more difficult than giving and sharing). As soon as the focus detached from little me's self-abosorption and return back to sharing, mind resource is no longer stuck, life energy comes back.
There is another simpler and more cruel
version of rephrasing: "suicide" is God's way of geting rid of people who are self absorbed.
Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 12:22 am
We all get lost sometimes & I truly believe we are here (and not just here on this forum) to remind ourselves of what we know and why we're here.
But...for the record...I wasn't ever suicidal. I don't believe in taking anyone's life. Mosquitoes are all I kill. I just had those passive wishes-to-be-dead and they went away after that little *chat.* At that moment, I just didn't think I could deal with what had been dropped on me. But I did and went on to victory. So it's not so much a story about me (because that *me* doesn't exist anymore) but about how this communication occurs.
It was a pivot-point moment, because I knew I couldn't leave her behind to fend for herself.
I struggle when I learn of someone's suicide, as I too tend to think that's selfish. I also know how warped and insane our thoughts can be when in the midst of deep suffering, so I try to have compassion for the actor.
Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 12:46 am
ivy, really enjoying your posts.
Best wishes to you.
Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 2:10 am
Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 2:46 am
Awwww, eseward & too haht, thanks!
You know, the world of ego really tries to suck us up into the vortex of illusion. We have to come here and remind ourselves of what is real. So hard to find people who know these truths in real life.
For months I have been on another spiritual site. Many Tolle fans, but not the calm I find here. I am ever-grateful for all here. I have much to explore.
Any suggestions as to threads?
Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 3:20 am
Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 4:19 am
hi there too haht tzay (love the handle/ username !)
you need not worry, no-one here will laugh at your story, (exept maybe for the irony)
bless you and all you care about. P.B
Re: you have to leave your dog behind
Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 5:20 am
Suicidal person is always completely self absorbed (thinking about achieve the goals of little me, which is always much more difficult than giving and sharing). As soon as the focus detached from little me's self-abosorption and return back to sharing, mind resource is no longer stuck, life energy comes back.
There is another simpler and more cruel version of rephrasing: "suicide" is God's way of geting rid of people who are self absorbed.
As someone who has had many different experiences from personal (yes this was definetly a 'little me thing' to the suicide of my wifes twin sister, and other family members, and also being involved with what we call ' lifeline ' here in australia, (a 24 hr phone counceling service) as a counciler, , (unfortunatly my immediate area has the highest rate of attempted/ and actual suicides in Australia, (not proud) ) I feel that I must say that i do not agree with the "always" and "not giving and sharing" parts.
the reason I say this is yes, the overwhelming majority are as you say 'little me's' but I have experienced many situations where the person at risk, absolutely believes that it is in the interests of other people, (not just smoke and mirrors or benign justification) if they were to take their own lives. there are many examples of this that i could put forward, a terminally ill person who believes they are a burden, a person who has a history of violence against his/her own children or others
someone who has a family member or even just a friend desperatly needing an organ transplant etc, who are willing to take their own lives to enable the life of another to go on. (which is of course illegal but it does happen), often women suffering from P.N.D also believe that their suicide is the best thing for the child. there are many more examples i could put forward, some people will argue with my point of view, and thats totally cool, but some people in fact be so selfless that they will sacrafice themselves, for others.
As you can probably guess from this post, I find the last part of the above quote 'god's way of getting rid of etc' to be one of the most toxic things that i have ever read. however, this is based on my experiences,
and i do see the general idea behind it. (i just can't agree with it )
still, thats the whole idea of being seperate 'beings' and i applaude you for your convictions.
bless you and all around you P.B
Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 5:29 am
poison ivy wrote:Any suggestions as to threads?
Whatever drives your emotions, or whatever inspires you.
Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 4:43 pm
poison ivy wrote:You know, the world of ego really tries to suck us up into the vortex of illusion.
I've used the same word to describe it: it can be like a whirlpool or riptide, and staying conscious and detached from the pull of ego can be a challenge. Luckily it (staying conscious and detached) produces such fabulous freedoms.
Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 4:46 pm
Nice post, proudlybeing. Thanks.
Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 12:39 am