FEAR!!!!

[NoordZee]

Hello everybody,
For the past four months, I have not contributed to this forum, as I went through a difficult time. I just did not seem to have the energy to write about anything. A couple of weeks ago, something happened that told me clearly that I have a very long way to go before I can just 'watch' my thoughts and emotions so that they will not have any negative effect on me.

A few weeks ago, a government department sent my wife and me a letter in which they informed us that our Age Pension had been cancelled, as I was deemed to earn too much. Upon my visiting a branch of this department, the staff were helpful as always and they quickly reinstated our pension. They admitted to having made a mistake by placing one zero too much against an updated figure provided by me a few days earlier.

The point to the above is that, when I saw this letter, my heart went into overdrive and I was gripped by, what I can only call, a panic attack. Yet, I knew intellectually that it obviously was a mistake that could be easily rectified. The fact that I was gripped by such a strong emotion prompted me to write this post. I need your help to determine how I can come to grips with such situations without my going to pieces. How can I apply Tolle's teachings in such a case?

I quote from Ben in one of his posts elsewhere:

Other fears are less tangible, and always have to do with circumstances that are beyond my control. I can't control what people think about me, I can't control how people judge my work or my looks, I can't control terrorist threat, just as I can't control the weather! Those are the kind of fears that are debilitating and self destructable, because no matter how much you think these "problems" over, you can never solve them. Accept there is a whole world out there that is beyond your control. Realize that there is no way to control it. Later on, you may realize that there is no NEED to control it. This helps me to let go of my problems. It may be an intellectual approach to addressing yor fears, but it works for me. Very Happy

Although this website is replete with some very good posts, I would appreciate an input as to what the best way is to tackle these unnecessary fears of mine. I have often tried to practise being in the Now but have met with very little success so far. I can manage to obtain a fair degree of peace and presence in nature but not anywhere else. It makes sense what Ben says but I find it very difficult to follow his suggestions.

I have taken a number of practical steps in an attempt to reduce my depression and anxiety. As a result, I am now able again to spend time on this forum. Your input will be highly regarded.

Regards to all

[Beingeternity]

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Greetings.

For me the answer seems to be awareness. It reminds me of when ET spoke of people not experiencing fear while in the presence of real danger. I know if I pay attention to my intuition I will not be bogged down by fear of the intangible.

For me it is a process of sharpening my resolve which is based on a program of discipline that I need from decades of not paying attention and deliberately diverting my attention away from this moment.

[Webwanderer]

The point to the above is that, when I saw this letter, my heart went into overdrive and I was gripped by, what I can only call, a panic attack. Yet, I knew intellectually that it obviously was a mistake that could be easily rectified. The fact that I was gripped by such a strong emotion prompted me to write this post. I need your help to determine how I can come to grips with such situations without my going to pieces. How can I apply Tolle's teachings in such a case?

Hello NoordZee, welcome back.

What will help with your fears is to live consciously in Truth. Understand how fear is possible. When one lives life through a concept of separation from what is perceived as the external world, it makes one feel vulnerable to events generated within that world. Most still live as a me identity. Me’s are constantly in competition and at risk from circumstances that manifest in life.

Get clear on the nature of me identity. As Kiki has urged so often on this forum, look for that me and see if it really exists. Find the truth of it. Once one clearly understands that the me, is only a group of memories and emotional attachments held together in a concept of time, and assumed as a personal identity, one can return to a more fundamental awareness of being within which all form expresses.

If you were dreaming that a crisis was upon you, and you felt the gripping fear of financial ruin to you and your family, and suddenly you recognized that it was a dream, how would you feel? You're still dreaming, but you recognize that all events and characters, including the you character, are but internal manifestations of mental concepts.

Would they be as threatening as when you believed them to be real? Or could you be more at peace with the dream circumstances knowing they would express for a while and soon pass. Knowing their true nature, could you not perceive those dream events through a sense of enjoyable curiosity as to how those events would proceed and how you might more effectively interact with them?

Once it is understood that one is essentially the field of awareness upon which the experience of being is played out, the events themselves become less threatening. It’s not that there is not still a great sense of engagement to living the events, but it offers perspective that no matter what the nature of those events are, they remain but temporary experiences in a life of interrelationship and adventure.

[weichen]

As ww said so clearly, this event of 'losing age pension' became fire that burns off delusion about "me identity".


It might have some other impacts on you. For example, even though you know that you are more than this little me (you are pure awareness), little me still had some vague idea about future, things it wants to do and accomplish. Event like "losing age pension" may lead to change of value, you may no longer interested in "get stuff" and may be more interested in "share and give". It needs very little money to "share and give".

Within the realm of little me, I sometime realize that "I have made it", not that I have accumulated unlimited money, but in the sense that I lost a lot interest in "geting expensive stuff".

[NoordZee]

Thank you Webwanderer, Beingeternity and Weichen for your replies.

Webwanderer wrote:

Get clear on the nature of me identity. As Kiki has urged so often on this forum, look for that me and see if it really exists. Find the truth of it. Once one clearly understands that the me, is only a group of memories and emotional attachments held together in a concept of time, and assumed as a personal identity, one can return to a more fundamental awareness of being within which all form expresses.

That is a good explanation. Again, I am the kind of person who can quickly come to grips with the theoretical aspects of a subject but have great difficulty translating this in practical terms. I understand what you are saying but struggle with convincing myself that my mind (me) consists of memories and emotional attachments and does not represent my true personal identity. I guess that, as a result of events many years ago, I am subconsciously afraid to be hurt and react correspondingly.

I have ET's book "A New Earth" but have yet to read it. I hope that this book elaborates further on the various concepts that you touched on. A friend of mine referred me to a book entitled: Kryon-Lifting the Veil-by Lee Carroll-Book Eleven. The website can be found at: http://www.kryon.com/menu.html I have started to read this book and there are striking similarities in some parts with ET's teachings. So, in addition to trying to apply the practical aspects of ET's teachings, I am also busy reading up in a bid to understand more.

Beingeternity wrote:

Greetings.

For me the answer seems to be awareness. It reminds me of when ET spoke of people not experiencing fear while in the presence of real danger. I know if I pay attention to my intuition I will not be bogged down by fear of the intangible.

For me it is a process of sharpening my resolve which is based on a program of discipline that I need from decades of not paying attention and deliberately diverting my attention away from this moment.

You are right. When there is real tangible danger, I and presumably many others, tend to respond quickly and decisively without experiencing the type of fear that applies to intangible subjects. I have had a number of such experiences during my life time when I did not feel fearful despite extreme danger. If only I could apply this to the intangible!!!

Thank you again.

[Annie]

Hi NoordZee,
Buddhism is not my primary Way, but I have found the following effective. I post with my best wishes to you.

araphrased from "Peace is Every Step" P53.

"Transforming Feelings.

The first step in dealing with feelings is to recognize each feeling as it arises. The agent that does this is mindfulness. In the case of fear, for example, you bring out your mindfulness, look at your fear, and recognize it as fear. You know that fear springs from yourself and that mindfulness also springs from yourself. They are both in you, not fighting, but one taking care of the other.

The second step is to become one with the feeling. It is best not to say, "Go away, Fear. I don't like you. You are not me." It is much more effective to say, "Hello, Fear. How are you today?" Then you can invite the two aspects of yourself, mindfulness and fear, to shake hands as friends and become one. Doing this may seem frightening, but because you know that you are more than just your fear, you need not be afraid. As long as mindfulness is there, it can chaperone your fear. The fundamental practice is to nourish your mindfulness with conscious breathing, to keep it there, alive and strong. Although your mindfulness may not be very strong in the beginning, it will grow if you nourish it. As long as mindfulness is present, you will not drown in your fear. In fact, you begin transforming it the very moment you give birth to awareness in yourself.

The third step is to calm the feeling. As mindfulness is taking good care of your fear, you begin to calm down. "Breathing in, I calm the activities of body and mind." You calm your fear just by being with it, like a mother tenderly holding her crying baby. Feeling his mother's tenderness, the baby will calm down and stop crying. The mother is your mindfulness, born from the depth of your consciousness, and it will tend the feeling of pain. A mother holding her baby is one with her baby. If the mother is thinking of other things, the baby will not calm down. The mother has to put aside other things and just hold her baby. So, don't avoid your feeling. Don't say, "You are not important. You are only a feeling." Come and be one with it. You can say, "Breathing out, I calm my fear."

The fourth step is to release the fear and let it go. Because of your calm, you feel at ease, even in the midst of fear, and you know that your fear will not grow into something that will overwhelm you. When you know that you are capable of taking care of your fear, it is already reduced to a minimum, becoming softer and not so unpleasant. Now you can smile at it and let it go, but please do not stop yet. Calming and releasing are just medicines for the symptoms. You now have an opportunity to go deeper and work on transforming the source of your fear.

The fifth step is to look deeply. You look deeply into your baby - your feeling of fear - to see what is wrong, even after the baby has already stopped crying, after the fear is gone. You cannot hold your baby all the time, and therefore you have to look into him to see the cause of what is wrong. By looking, you will see what will help you to begin to transform the feeling. You will realize, for example, that his suffering has many causes, inside and outside of his body. If something is wrong around him, if you put that in order, bringing tenderness and care to the situation, he will feel better. Looking into your baby, you see the elements that are causing him to cry, and when you see them, you will know what to do to transform the feeling and be free.

This is a process similar in many ways to modern psychological method. Together with the patient, the therapist looks at the nature of the pain. Often, the psychologist can uncover causes of the suffering that stem from the way the patient looks at things, the beliefs he holds about himself, his culture, and the world. He examines these viewpoints and beliefs with the patient, and together they help free him from the kind of prison he has been in. But the patient's efforts are crucial. A teacher has to give birth to the teacher within his student, and the therapist has to give birth to the therapist within his patient. The patient's "internal therapist" can then work full-time in an effective way.
The therapist does not treat the patient by simply giving him another set of beliefs. She tries to help him see which kinds of ideas and beliefs have led to his suffering. Many patients want to get rid of their painful feelings, but they do not want to get rid of their beliefs, the viewpoints that are the very roots of their feelings. So therapist and patient have to work together to help the patient see things as they are. The same is true when we use mindfulness to transform our feelings. After recognizing the feeling, becoming one with it, calming it down, and releasing it, we can look deeply into its causes, which are often based on inaccurate perceptions. As soon as we understand the causes and nature of our feelings, they begin to transform themselves."

(Italics mine; exquisite gentleness and simplicity are Thich Nhat Hanh's).

( for "mindfulness", read a degree of presence/awareness; the simplest way for me when a negative emotion threatens to overwhelm me, is just to be aware of the breath going in and out - do not alter, just be aware of (follow) the breath.)

Regards,

[NoordZee]

Thank you Annie for your effort here. I have to read your quote a few more times in order to internalise it but I do get the drift. I shall attempt to practise this any next time that something similar happens. Thank you for your wishes and your quote.

[eseward]

NoordZee, you may find the book "The Secret of Letting Go" by Guy Finley helpful.

[Webwanderer]

Or just about anything else by Guy Finley. I like his stuff, especially about clearing up issues of mind.

[NoordZee]

Thank you. I have just ordered the Secret of Letting Go from Guy Finley.