Of course, what goes along with that is the knowledge that you will soon be dead and will have missed this shining golden opportunity called Life.
to truly become one with the sorrow in that statement might push you to truth.
on the other hand if it remains in the sphere of egoic story, it will just fuel this depressed identity.
I can testify to that.
Yes. It 'might' push me to truth.
On the other hand, I have been chasing 'mights' all my life. It's been fruitless.
So far, all the "mights' I have chased (for decades) have been just more carrots on just more sticks.
The sphere of 'egoic story' may...or may not...be accurate. Perhaps it's not beyond the ability of the ego to make an accurate assessment from time to time.
It's just where I am stuck. Trapped.
IT'S ALL ABOUT THE PARADIGM SHIFT.
I have noticed that plenty of others were similarly trapped...until...they weren't.
Until they had life altering experiences. Among them Eckhart Tolle, John Sherman, Gangagi, Neale Donald Walsh, Leonard Jacobson, Byron Katy....etc.
Historically, we have Moses, Joan of Arc, Paul/Saul (he of the 'road to Damascus fame) and many many others.
All those people were hopelessly mired in wherever they were at until they had a Paradigm Shift.
"Most people live lives of quiet desparation" because they know they are not being who they could be and are tortured by the inescapable fact that the promise of their lives is evaporating minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.
Almost all of the BILLIONS of people on the planet will live...and die...without
having the Paradigm Shift that I seek. (A possible contributing factor to Anxiety and/or Depression? One would think so.
ET was no different and would have committed suicide or simply hung around until his body gave up the ghost in old age as only one more wasted life...EXCEPT...
ET had a Paradigm Shift.
Until and unless there is a Paradigm Shift, nothing will change.
Throughout my life, too few times IMO, I have experienced some Paradigm Shifts. I have no clue why they came, when and how they did. But, I know I would still be stuck 'back there' unless those Paradigm Shifts showed up.
The question for me is, "How Do I Get My Paradigm Shift?".
In the past, it seems that they came on their own from The Universe in some process and with some timing that I don't understand.
As far as I can tell, none of my cursing, fighting, striving, pleading, begging, railing, screaming, crying, working, working, working, working, working, working, tryings, thinking, working, working, working or searching had anything at all to do with the Paradigm Shifts showing up.
From all of the BILLIONS of lives lived on Planet Earth over 1,000's of years, it seems to me that this should be well known, well marked, well mapped territory.
Not so, it would appear.
How could this possibly be?