Does desire to change a situation negate acceptance of it

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lucy
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Does desire to change a situation negate acceptance of it

Post by lucy » Wed Jun 21, 2006 7:28 am

Accepting the moment, surrendering to what it, allowing the moment to be as it is etc....

ET talks about how surrendering to life and acceptance of the moment does not conflict with taking action to change a situation. I really don't understand how you can completely accept the moment if on some level you want change. In PON, ET uses the example of being stuck in the mud,
you accept that you are stuck in the mud but then you take action to change your situaltion. Doesn't the desire to change the situation negate acceptance?

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Post by Slaine » Wed Jun 21, 2006 2:25 pm

I think I know the answer to this so I'll give it a shot for you...

The key word is denial. Take the example of an alcoholic; the first step to recovery is accepting that he is an alcoholic. That doesn't mean he's happy to stay an alcoholic. In order to tackle his drinking problem, he must accept the reality of the situation. Denial is the refusal to accept reality.

If you don't accept reality, how can you change it? To take Tolle's example, imagine you get stuck in the mud, and then stand there refusing to accept that you are stuck in the mud... "This is not happening to me... what mud?? I don't see any mud"... mostly people won't accept something due to pride, that's why they say it's a 'sin'.
Last edited by Slaine on Wed Jun 21, 2006 2:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by heidi » Wed Jun 21, 2006 2:34 pm

Desire is compatable with acceptance, just as is hope. You can accept that you have desire, the same way you accept that you are hungry or thirsty. :) Acceptance does not preclude action; in fact action from a state of acceptance has much more power than reaction based on resistance.
Maybe it's the difference between action and reaction that you're talking about? It's like the difference between working with or working against reality, what is.
So, you're stuck in the mud. That's a fact. You're stuck in the mud and may be late for your appointment - that's projection. You see a piece of wood on the side of the road and decide to wedge it under the wheel - that's the splendor of action. We are often most present in action, don't you agree?

One of my favorite quotes from Goethe:
Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, magic and power in it. Begin it now.
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Post by heidi » Wed Jun 21, 2006 2:36 pm

Yeah, and what Slaine said. :)
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Post by JedEye » Wed Jun 21, 2006 11:32 pm

If I have some situations that seem to repeat from time to time there is a moment where I see it and then I see I tried many things to change it. Then sometimes I have to agree to myself internaly that this situation still does exist, that I`m stuck in the mud and have no idea how to get out. Just confess that to myself. Maybe some acceptance of situation comes out of that, I don`t know. But the situations change without my effort and I don`t even know when. I see that after time - 'oh I had big problem for 3 weeks day after day and I don`t know where it went.' :)

That`s what Slaine said :) Admiting to be in bad place (sinful place :lol:). That needs some honesty.

Oh and by the way I have no idea what acceptance of this or that means, I understand it with mind but I have no idea
no more words

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Post by dee » Wed Jun 28, 2006 9:50 am

Accepting the moment is merely acknowledging the form of the present moment as it is.

You are accepting its reality. Its happened, its a fact, pointless to deny it............ however this acceptance does not preclude any action you may wish to instigate.

..and what Heidi and Slaine said

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Post by Webwanderer » Wed Jun 28, 2006 1:20 pm

Acceptance of the moment includes the call for action. If your in a parking lot and you see a man beating up a woman or a child, do you just accept it and move on? No, there is also the acceptance of the need for action in the moment. Each moment is an opportunity to "be" in unique circumstances. No judgement is necessary, only full participation.

That is not to say you do not try to affect the circumstances at hand. Just don't get too caught up in outcomes. Everything you see is contained within what you are. Be creative, not judgemental.

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Post by Webwanderer » Wed Jun 28, 2006 2:23 pm

What is is not a static thing. What is is a dynamic. To accept the river upon which you find yourself is also to accept the rivers flow. You may sit in your boat and allow the river to take you where it will, saying its Gods will, or your may take your paddle and learn to navigate. You may allow yourself to hit the rapids ahead sideways and accept any crash as what is, or you may guide your boat as best you can and make the ride less painful or even enjoyable. Developing life skills is not to reject what is, it is to take better advantage of opportunities as they present themselves.

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Post by dee » Wed Jun 28, 2006 7:15 pm

Webwanderer wrote:Acceptance of the moment includes the call for action...................................................................
In the example you give, probably, but in many instances of accepting the moment action is not required.

In fact non-action can be far more powerful

It brings to mind a buddhist saying

"Do nothing and everything is done"

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Post by Webwanderer » Thu Jun 29, 2006 10:50 pm

Yes Dee, what you say is true. So how does one decide?

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Post by dee » Mon Jul 03, 2006 10:50 pm

Webwanderer wrote:Yes Dee, what you say is true. So how does one decide?
I believe that if you are 'present' the answer presents itself.

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Post by Webwanderer » Tue Jul 04, 2006 12:07 am

Dee wrote:
Webwanderer wrote:
Yes Dee, what you say is true. So how does one decide?


I believe that if you are 'present' the answer presents itself.
And how does the answer present itself? For instance, you are present here now in front of your computer faced with a choice. To answer or not. It is not on the scale of someone abusing a child, but it is an opportunity to act (by answering) or not to act. A choice however will have to be made. In either case there is an action by virtue of making a choice. Whatever is chosen, acceptance of the course of that choice (or resistance to it) may be part of it.

There is no right or wrong answer in any choice that we make, but there is always opportunity for attunement with our True Being in making those choices. That opportunity for attunement may well be the essential purpose in all the choices that come to us.

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Post by weopposedeception » Tue Jul 04, 2006 3:31 am

Whatever action is taken is the "right" action. It is only the mind that looks back and says woulda, coulda, shoulda. That is because the mind believes it the doer.

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Post by dee » Tue Jul 04, 2006 2:47 pm

Webwanderer wrote:Dee wrote:
Webwanderer wrote:
Yes Dee, what you say is true. So how does one decide?


I believe that if you are 'present' the answer presents itself.
And how does the answer present itself? .......................................................................
It may sound trite but just as any other answer presents itself when we are present.

Hypothetical situations would be things of the mind, a story; present moment situations when they appear to an individual are the only ones that matter.

You cannot legislate beforehand ( other than to be present) for any given event. Each is unique and depending on all the factors involved there would be a unique response.

In these cases I believe if we are present the answer occurs to us, thats all I can say.

Its brings to mind another Buddhist/Theosophical saying.

"When the pupil is ready the master appears".

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Post by weichen » Fri Jul 14, 2006 2:37 am

The paradox (acceptance vs resistance):
1. when you use the question "how can I get myself out of the mud", you are not resisting "stucking in the mud". ET said the question of How is often better than the question of what. "how question" implies accepting what is, and it is focusing on the present moment rather than past or future.
2. resistance are one type of mental constructs, it maybe a question of "why". such as "why I was so careless a while ago, why I did not see the mud in front of me ? why my mate did not remind me when we got near the mud ? what was she thinking ? never hike with her again!"
resisting consume massive resource, creating endless loop thinking.

I believe when a person master the power of now (be aware when your mind wander to the past or future and be able to ALLOW attention to quickly come back to the present), then you automatically master the paradox of acceptance vs resistance, and most if not all other paradox in ET's books.

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