Eckhart on Self-Esteem in the Classroom

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Eckhart on Self-Esteem in the Classroom

Postby Sighclone » Fri Oct 28, 2011 7:46 am

self-esteem is a kind of taboo word in nondual circles. In a recent Oprah Webcast after her first LifeClass, she had ET as a guest. At minute 33 in the webcast here ET addresses an interesting question from a motivational coach within a school system. Fundamentally, he encourages the teachers to praise the child who has done well, without suggesting they have any "additional worth" when compared tot he other kids. He goes on to emphasize that the praise needs to not diminish others in any way.

There are many other superior questions in this episode, too, especially one on "not fighting your ego, etc."

It is quite interesting to note that as soon as she broke away from her public network affiliation, that she is right back in tight with ET (and learned the TM technique recently, too.)

Andy
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Re: Eckhart on Self-Esteem in the Classroom

Postby Pako Chubi » Mon Oct 31, 2011 12:37 am

Thank you, thank you sooo much... The very first minute or two were already great, talking about oprah's obssesion with weight-loss, and saying that wanting to be healthy and loose weight is not something from the ego, but when we identify with that desire and want to "repair" our self-image is when the ego takes charge. I was sort of confused about that, about what doings are from the ego and what doings are not from the ego. This was very clarifying, thanks :mrgreen:
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Re: Eckhart on Self-Esteem in the Classroom

Postby Natalie » Mon Oct 31, 2011 2:41 am

Thanks Andy for posting the link to the class with Oprah and Eckhart. I am so glad I spent an hour and four minutes watching this powerful presentation on ego. It was a great refresher course. Eckhart was great as usual and yes, his answer to the teacher who was concerned about too much praise in the classroom was perfect. The intrinsic value of the child is not affected by his or her academic abilities. He said that child may have many other abilities outside the scope of the educational system that will never be witnessed by the teacher. Everything about this webclass was fantastic. I joined the facebook page to receive notifications of future classes. Thanks again,

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Re: Eckhart on Self-Esteem in the Classroom

Postby the key master » Mon Oct 31, 2011 6:44 pm

andy said eckhart said,
he encourages the teachers to praise the child who has done well, without suggesting they have any "additional worth" when compared tot he other kids. He goes on to emphasize that the praise needs to not diminish others in any way.


Thanks for the post andy. It certainly resonates. Today was my day to buy food for the other teachers where I'm teaching. I came in early to finish reports cards (i need that last minute pressure sometimes also), so by the time I was heading out to grab some grub,I bumped into little emily and maggie at the elevator(kids were already shuffling in). They asked where I was going, and I said to get some food. They tagged along for a quick walk to a local bakery, and I obviously bought them a sugar cookie each for their travels. I was later interrogated by little jenna, who let me know in no uncertain terms of her disapproval of my cookie purchase.

That's a bit of a funny example on how what's viewed as praise can diminish self worth. When I first started, a coteacher gave me a stamp pad, and said with the youngest two groups, that I can give a stamp onto some stamp sheet that each kid has when they give a good answer. I didn't waste my time with it, at first. The first time I broke out the stamp pad these kids went nuts. TEACHER STAMP!! I quickly uploaded the stamp program into the mainframe. Sometimes giving praise can hurt others feelings though, which I've noticed. Friday was festival day for Halloween and the kids got a bunch of crap. I got some of the leftovers which I really didn't want. I offered little sarah(who happens to be the smartest in the class and sits right across from me) a brand new pencil, she politely accepted, and i can't be sure, but judging from the looks on the rest of the kids faces, i think little patrick told me to go f*ck myself in korean moments later LOL.

Being around 10 different groups of kids has really been eye opening for me. Giving praise is a big part(i imagine anyway) in establishing a healthy connection between the mind and body and psychological development in general. I notice that a few seconds of eye contact followed by a heartfelt thank you for speaking or communicating can go a long way in promoting what I see as desired or healthy behavior. I can’t say that is part of the program however, more just something which happens on its own.
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Re: Eckhart on Self-Esteem in the Classroom

Postby Sighclone » Wed Nov 02, 2011 6:04 pm

Being around 10 different groups of kids has really been eye opening for me. Giving praise is a big part(i imagine anyway) in establishing a healthy connection between the mind and body and psychological development in general. I notice that a few seconds of eye contact followed by a heartfelt thank you for speaking or communicating can go a long way in promoting what I see as desired or healthy behavior. I can’t say that is part of the program however, more just something which happens on its own.


I volunteer in an elementary school as a tutor, as part of a safety net program for kids falling below grade level. So I get contact with 2-6 kids for one hour per week, sometimes more. I've done this for four years, teaching both math and reading. I love the idea of a Teacher Stamp...they are so appreciative of direct feedback. And fairness is so important (one girl gets a pencil, another is miffed without cause). Basically, and I guess, sadly, they are very competitive, always comparing -- sometimes sharing, yes, but very sensitive as to how they are doing. Eckhart mentions how strong the ego is in young people, and we have certainly seen that in this forum.

So what are you gonna do? If you try to get all "nondual preachy" -- well, that is not going to work. I guess you try to be fair in giving our the teacher stamp, being sure that you give them appropriately for each kid. If little Larry makes modest progress which would be trivial for Janet, but significant for him, he gets a stamp. We no longer can give out candy or even apple slices, but the need is there. I love the "teacher stamp" idea and will run it up the flag at our school.

Funny how small the world is..until you "realize" it.

Thanks, Jason -- best of luck over there!

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce
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Re: Eckhart on Self-Esteem in the Classroom

Postby the key master » Thu Nov 03, 2011 1:40 pm

Thanks andy!

Yea everything you said.


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Re: Eckhart on Self-Esteem in the Classroom

Postby Pako Chubi » Thu Nov 03, 2011 5:37 pm

Sighclone wrote:
Being around 10 different groups of kids has really been eye opening for me. Giving praise is a big part(i imagine anyway) in establishing a healthy connection between the mind and body and psychological development in general. I notice that a few seconds of eye contact followed by a heartfelt thank you for speaking or communicating can go a long way in promoting what I see as desired or healthy behavior. I can’t say that is part of the program however, more just something which happens on its own.


I volunteer in an elementary school as a tutor, as part of a safety net program for kids falling below grade level. So I get contact with 2-6 kids for one hour per week, sometimes more. I've done this for four years, teaching both math and reading. I love the idea of a Teacher Stamp...they are so appreciative of direct feedback. And fairness is so important (one girl gets a pencil, another is miffed without cause). Basically, and I guess, sadly, they are very competitive, always comparing -- sometimes sharing, yes, but very sensitive as to how they are doing. Eckhart mentions how strong the ego is in young people, and we have certainly seen that in this forum.

So what are you gonna do? If you try to get all "nondual preachy" -- well, that is not going to work. I guess you try to be fair in giving our the teacher stamp, being sure that you give them appropriately for each kid. If little Larry makes modest progress which would be trivial for Janet, but significant for him, he gets a stamp. We no longer can give out candy or even apple slices, but the need is there. I love the "teacher stamp" idea and will run it up the flag at our school.

Funny how small the world is..until you "realize" it.

Thanks, Jason -- best of luck over there!

Andy


Maybe, as Im seeing it now, kids may recieve positive feedback or a "teacher stamp" when they discover or make a progress on their own and individual capacities and habilities, specially when doing things they like the most... becouse when doing so, you can encourage them to know what they love doing in life, and also it can give them some self steem (that's always necessary). When children compete, I think is becouse they have been given some sort of "success parameters", I mean thoughts that say what is the best to do and what is not so important, so if you go well on mathematics you are "successful", but if you go well on art...it's ok but not such a great thing...
That's the "settle into the mold" modality of education
And creative people didn't usually fit in the mold during their childhood, that's something to be considered
Anyway, I like how you describe your method :) and certainly the "nondual preachy" won't work hahaha :mrgreen:
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Re: Eckhart on Self-Esteem in the Classroom

Postby Sighclone » Fri Nov 04, 2011 7:33 am

Pako -

You are so right about creative kids maybe not being interested in long division while they are imagining the next Star Trek. I've seen bright kids test poorly because thier minds wander. And the competitive thing -- hard to worry about being competitive when you don't know where your dad is, or if he cares about you.

Self-esteem...isn't that ego-building? Well, I'm not so sure, and if it is, how do we know that it is a "bad" thing? -- More later in a different thread.

Andy
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Re: Eckhart on Self-Esteem in the Classroom

Postby ashleywells2417 » Mon Dec 02, 2013 6:50 am

Children who have high self-esteem come to value themselves and think of themselves as worthy partners and capable problem solvers.
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Re: Eckhart on Self-Esteem in the Classroom

Postby Sighclone » Mon Dec 02, 2013 7:24 pm

Welcome to the forum, ashley!

I also believe that self-esteem is important in young people. There are so many threats to that, from bullies, neglectful parents, classroom competition, emerging sexuality, etc. Eckhart suggests that it is not until about age 30 that we can begin to discard the ego -- moreover, the capacity to discard it, paradoxically, seems to depend to some degree on how comfortable we are "in our own skin." People who have serious and debilitating mental disorders look to spiritual awakening to escape them, but that doesn't seem to work very well. Further studies on this are available from the California Institute of Integral Studies and the Nondual Wisdom and Psychotherapy Institute.

Andy
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There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce
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