Struggles by Name, struggles by nature...

[Guy Struggles]

If I were to choose a symbol to represent me it would surely be

I've been delving heavily into ET's works for a few months now and am somewhat addicted... dare I say even somewhat dependant. I try to remember his words to the effect of 'know when to stop reading' or 'know when to stop looking at the sign posts'. But as I am not a fast learner, I need a lot of reiteration to really 'get' things if especially ET's inspiring/spiritual philosophies. I've been borderline suicidal for years now and had the worst bottoming' out about 4 months ago, that one really scared me - I was 'in the zone' and a bad one it was. Even now I reserve the thought of 'if it gets too bad, I'm leaving'. Somehow now I've accepted that, I find it strangely comforting... a death of a kind? ... an acceptance that ET' might approve of? Not sure.

My basic/predominant issues in order would probably be:

1. Financial lack of success/scraping by. Was made redundant after 7 years at co. now falling back on physically laborious work/not handling well at my age (54). Body aches/pains/up at 4am for 6am start/not 'good' money.
2. Recurring issue at workplace(s) with disgust/distaste/angry feelings towards un-compassionate/unconscious/pain body laden/bad mannered/insensitive/self-absorbed/poor people skilled superiors. There is *always* someone or some people I can't stand at work. I'm learning that my ego and pain body have much to do with this so more control has been effected, thankfully. Why does there have to be sooo many unconscious/pain body laden people out there
3. Near constant fight with depression (self-talk/utilising ET's & followers philosophies has been extremely helpful). Suicidal thoughts raise and lower depending on levels of depression, anger, hopeless feelings/unconsciousness/P Body.
4. Ex wife constantly wanting (even) more $$$ from me despite her being many, many times more successful/stable career/great salary/material wealth... *entirely unconcerned* by comparison of my dismal looking future.
(she is extremely unconscious/heavy pain body/hard to deal with - though I have done well to improve comms).

Anyways, any/all advice and suggestions as to what I can look at/read/listen to/watch etc will be gratefully received. I've done a lot of 'patchwork' regarding the above so am really hoping this venue will help me to better 'home in' on what I need to do. I'n short, I'm looking for what I need... the needles in the haystack. I'm having trouble finding more on 'dealing with difficult people/persons'. There seems to be only (?) one real video by ET that comes close to what I'm looking for on the matter. Would *really* like to improve on this & the 'dealing with difficult people at work' recurring issue(s).

My knowledge of ET's work so far (only) includes having read 'The Power Of Now' and of course, many/most of his videos.

Many (many) thanks for taking the time to read my intro' !

Guy. )

[smiileyjen101]

Hi Guy, you could always change your name, to whatever / whoever you want to be
What we believe about our 'story' is merely our interpretation. Its not necessarily the truth, it is merely our personal perspective of it.

1. Financial lack of success/scraping by. Was made redundant after 7 years at co. now falling back on physically laborious work/not handling well at my age (54). Body aches/pains/up at 4am for 6am start/not 'good' money.

Our judgements are just our interpretation in the moment. eg: there is much satisfaction to be had in physical labour, there is much gratitude to be experienced if we choose gratitude instead of judgment. The essence of gratitude opens our hearts and minds to see, to feel, to know, so much more than our judgements allow.

2. Recurring issue at workplace(s) with disgust/distaste/angry feelings towards un-compassionate/unconscious/pain body laden/bad mannered/insensitive/self-absorbed/poor people skilled superiors.

Give yourself a break! You are not CEO of the universe who can direct or control others, and neither can others control how you respond. The choice is always yours - choose fear and separation, or choose compassion and peace.

Here's the key - we are ALL, each one of us, doing our best with whatever awareness, capacity and willingness that we have. Our awareness, capacity and willingness grow through experience, the more we respond with fear the more our awareness, capacity & willingness grows in fear; the more we respond with compassion -for self and others - the more our awareness, capacity & willingness grows in compassion.

Compassion recognises that each of us are just doing our best with what we have.
When fear arises - and those judgements above are based in fear - breathe out - let the stagnant, polluted judgements flow out with the breath. Nothing is happening but your interpretation of it.

With the clean intake of breath see your self and others and the situation with compassion - if you 'taint' the breath with gossipy thoughts, breathe out consciously again, take in a clean breath - you will know when you are holding in compassion because there will be a peace, a lightness, a loving base in your thoughts, and therefore in your responses. You'll know if you've tainted the breath with judgements because there will be a tightness, a constriction of your perspectives believing that your thoughts are the be all and end all, and your reactions will be polluted by the fears that you are energising or reacting with. (yours and others')

3. Near constant fight with depression (self-talk/utilising ET's & followers philosophies has been extremely helpful). Suicidal thoughts raise and lower depending on levels of depression, anger, hopeless feelings/unconsciousness/P Body.

Use the same exercise above - your emotions depend upon your thoughts, your thoughts are merely interpretations of stimuli organised by your brain into whatever 'story' you are creating / recreating.
Don Miguel Ruiz's The Four Agreements offers excellent perspectives to break these cycles of lying to yourself.

"Life creates reality, and I re-create reality by interpreting it with the word. The virtual reality that I create is my personal creation; it's my art, and it's only "truth" for me."
"Everything I believe about myself is because I learned it. Every judgment is just an opinion, a point of view, and that point of view wasn't there when I was born."
"Every word in my mind is just a symbol, and symbols are not real. They're my creation; they're my art. I am the one who gives meaning and power to every word.

4....

See above.

Rather than struggle - what 'word' would you like to give meaning and power to?

The choice is entirely yours

[Onceler]

Hi guy,

I feel your situation. I did construction for 10 years and still hurt from it.....I'm also 54. I don't believe that those who haven't done grunt work for more than a short stint understand how it can wear you down, both physically and psychologically. Having said that, I miss it.

As I said, I still hurt from injuries sustained during construction and manage them with Qi Gong. Tai Chi can also be effective. The problem is, you may not have the time or energy to do this before work. Maybe try doing it on the weekends as it can also center your mind and keep you in the present. I also recommend that you look into John Sherman's work and lose the fear of life. It's simple, free and requires no belief changes. It takes awhile to recover from the fear of life, but done once, you can begin to be more self reliant.

Justonelook.org.

Cheers and hope all goes well.

[DavidB]

Hi GS,

It's hard being human, no doubt about it. Life can often become a struggle, trying to make ends meet while trying not to fall in a heap. Being at peace can seem like a distant goal.

Naturally, adequate nutrition is essential, the body simply can't cope when it isn't being nurtured, which will invariably affect our state of consciousness. Make sure you get time for rest and relaxation. Avoid too much alcohol and try and avoid the news. The news is full of fuel for the pain body to feast on, ruin your day and exhaust our already depleted energy with negative emotions. If you can look at the news without becoming emotionally charged, then fine, but if makes you angry or irritable, then avoid it. Focus instead on whatever helps to promote inner peace and calm.

It's difficult to balance our human nature, as it is really quite complex, then add to that there is within us a deep seated need for unhappiness, which manifests as the pain body, also constantly being in contact with raging pain bodies at home and in the work place, and life can often seem altogether too difficult to deal with. In this context, suicidal tendencies are not really all that irrational, we might even perceive it as compassionate.

However, we know from experience, those of us that have managed to overcome the world, more or less, that there is a better way. Just hang in there and learn as much as you can. The realizations you require don't come all at once, they often take time and effort, and ironically, a lot of the time the realizations we need come through adversity.

We are really only here to do one thing, and that is know who really are in essence. Everything else is temporary manifestations that can aid in helping us realize this.

[Guy Struggles]

Wow! got some real good suggestions/help there... I must regularly come back as it's been a few months since I introduced myself.

I've come a loooong way since when I wrote this, mainly due to extensive (and I mean extensive) studying of ET's philosophies.
It's amazing what you will do when you get so low and really have to 'dig deep' when things get so dreadfully dark.
I am grateful for it now as in my case, it was the leverage needed in order for me to take a real hard look at myself and how I was doing/thinking things.
(now of course there is FAR less thinking!) Don't get me started on how amazed I am when I look at nature and scenery in general. Presence is entirely awesome.

I'm in a different state of 'flux' now, but still at times perplexed with... 'things'. Getting better and quicker at realising I've slipped out of consciousness.
So cool when you begin to notice the difference and when you 'slip out'. Sleeping FAR better too. I DO NOT miss that awful night time anxiety & panicked thoughts.

I'll be reading over your responses. Knowing that most/all of you understand 'presence' means I dare not take your advice lightly. Apologies for not coming back sooner... the state I was in had me quite scattered needles to say. I'm guessing most of you will understand. I'll return to the site more often as part of my overall ET studies. Nothing can get worse in doing so! ;o)

Best regards and thanks again for your sentiments!