
On my journey I realized that it helps me a lot to share myself openly with people especially because I always kept certain parts of myself hidden because I deemed them unacceptable or I thought that people simply wouldn´t care about them. Over time, though, I realized that these "weird" aspects about me (and other people) are the most precious and interesting things one could share with the world. Allow yourself to be seen and you will attract people that love these sides about you. And what was once unacceptable is now the key to your freedom.
So, today I realized something. Whenever my girlfriend or other people would get into a bad mood, I thought it was my job to fix that and get them into a better one, either directly in person or via text messages. But today when I texted my girl and she told me that she is tired (she has been on a long trip) and she was kind of grumpy I suddenly didn´t feel the need anymore to fix anything. What happened?
Well, a couple of days ago I was on a downward spiral and I was dealing with a lot of negative emotions. My pain-body called me deep into itself and I was on a frequency so low that I could barely take care of my daily-life. Everything felt like a lot of effort, no matter what I did. Activities that brought enjoyment to me, gave me nothing at all. So, I was scared to death that the pain would never go away and that I would always feel this way. Well, at a certain point though I realized that I have to just surrender to the pain and let it wash over me for so long that it doesn´t have any power over me anymore. I did that and then it dawned on me that these emotions are really not that bad. But what makes us suffer is the meaning that we give those "negative" emotions. If we feel pain, fear, jealousy, hatred, anger etc. we - especially as "spiritual" people - often feel like something has gone wrong and that these emotions have no business of being there. I, however, realized that the emotion is already there, so the only way to deal with it, is by allowing it to wash over me. By getting to know a certain emotion inside out it longer has power over you. It´s funny because every spiritual teacher talks about allowing everything to be as it is but it´s like as human beings we still don´t want to entertain certain emotions that we are afraid of.

So the lesson I took away from this is that there´s no point in forcing myself to be in a good mood and that trying to fix certain emotions of oneself is a pointless endeavour that will only lead to more resistence and fear of those emotions. And now - coming back to my girlfriend - today I realized that she was in a bad mood and that there´s nothing I can about it to fix it. It is in her power to experience these emotions, let them go and be at peace again and feel joy. I can´t force her to be in a good mood because currently she´s thinking thoughts about life that are "negative". That´s really all that happens. It´s not my fault, it´s not even her fault, there´s simply an energy movement in her that I only recently still deemed as negative but of which I now realize is just another flavour of experiencing life. I feel so grateful for that insight.