Sudden insights, inspirations and ideas

[GermanEnlightenment]

I decided to create this thread because throughout my daily life I would get sudden revelations about life that are increasing my awareness und vibration and then I would always think to myself: "Man, you have to write these down and share them with other people." Sometimes these are insights about relationships, sometimes these are feelings or strange synchronicities that happen. So this is going to be a thread where I collect all the things that I´m learning about life.
On my journey I realized that it helps me a lot to share myself openly with people especially because I always kept certain parts of myself hidden because I deemed them unacceptable or I thought that people simply wouldn´t care about them. Over time, though, I realized that these "weird" aspects about me (and other people) are the most precious and interesting things one could share with the world. Allow yourself to be seen and you will attract people that love these sides about you. And what was once unacceptable is now the key to your freedom.

So, today I realized something. Whenever my girlfriend or other people would get into a bad mood, I thought it was my job to fix that and get them into a better one, either directly in person or via text messages. But today when I texted my girl and she told me that she is tired (she has been on a long trip) and she was kind of grumpy I suddenly didn´t feel the need anymore to fix anything. What happened?
Well, a couple of days ago I was on a downward spiral and I was dealing with a lot of negative emotions. My pain-body called me deep into itself and I was on a frequency so low that I could barely take care of my daily-life. Everything felt like a lot of effort, no matter what I did. Activities that brought enjoyment to me, gave me nothing at all. So, I was scared to death that the pain would never go away and that I would always feel this way. Well, at a certain point though I realized that I have to just surrender to the pain and let it wash over me for so long that it doesn´t have any power over me anymore. I did that and then it dawned on me that these emotions are really not that bad. But what makes us suffer is the meaning that we give those "negative" emotions. If we feel pain, fear, jealousy, hatred, anger etc. we - especially as "spiritual" people - often feel like something has gone wrong and that these emotions have no business of being there. I, however, realized that the emotion is already there, so the only way to deal with it, is by allowing it to wash over me. By getting to know a certain emotion inside out it longer has power over you. It´s funny because every spiritual teacher talks about allowing everything to be as it is but it´s like as human beings we still don´t want to entertain certain emotions that we are afraid of. So we allow, but only if it´s not too painful.

So the lesson I took away from this is that there´s no point in forcing myself to be in a good mood and that trying to fix certain emotions of oneself is a pointless endeavour that will only lead to more resistence and fear of those emotions. And now - coming back to my girlfriend - today I realized that she was in a bad mood and that there´s nothing I can about it to fix it. It is in her power to experience these emotions, let them go and be at peace again and feel joy. I can´t force her to be in a good mood because currently she´s thinking thoughts about life that are "negative". That´s really all that happens. It´s not my fault, it´s not even her fault, there´s simply an energy movement in her that I only recently still deemed as negative but of which I now realize is just another flavour of experiencing life. I feel so grateful for that insight.

[Fore]

Women have this horrible condition that rears up once a month. There is a pre period time frame that lasts about a week and a half, and then there is the period in the middle which lasts a few days and then there is the apre period time which lasts another week or so. During this time it is good to smile alot in their presence but don't look happy. And whatever you do don't converse with them during this period. The rest of the time women are great, unless their hair is acting up. Oh yeah and don't leave cupboard doors open it activates their pain body.

[DavidB]

today I realized that she was in a bad mood and that there´s nothing I can about it to fix it. It is in her power to experience these emotions, let them go and be at peace again and feel joy. I can´t force her to be in a good mood because currently she´s thinking thoughts about life that are "negative". That´s really all that happens. It´s not my fault, it´s not even her fault, there´s simply an energy movement in her that I only recently still deemed as negative but of which I now realize is just another flavour of experiencing life. I feel so grateful for that insight.

You'll likely find that your relationship improves, because communication will improve. Instead of hearing something that needs to be fixed and it's your responsibility to fix it, you're now hearing her tell you how she feels with empathy and understanding.

Women tend to need to express their feelings in order for those feelings to be validated, and feel better. Men usually here this as, she has a problem and wants me to fix it.

And it's fantastic that you are having these realizations. This is what happens when we practice presence, we become attuned to that awesome intelligence that emanates from our own source. Realizations and revelations appear spontaneously into consciousness, like beautiful gifts, whenever we are ready. Every time I have a new realization I want to share it with the world, I can't wait to tell everybody, however, these days I tend to be much more selective.

There are no bad emotions, there are only emotions that have been perceived as bad. A painful emotion can be a catalyst for transformation.

Practicing presence is better than all the drugs in the world. There is no high quite so good as clarity.

[GermanEnlightenment]

today I realized that she was in a bad mood and that there´s nothing I can about it to fix it. It is in her power to experience these emotions, let them go and be at peace again and feel joy. I can´t force her to be in a good mood because currently she´s thinking thoughts about life that are "negative". That´s really all that happens. It´s not my fault, it´s not even her fault, there´s simply an energy movement in her that I only recently still deemed as negative but of which I now realize is just another flavour of experiencing life. I feel so grateful for that insight.

You'll likely find that your relationship improves, because communication will improve. Instead of hearing something that needs to be fixed and it's your responsibility to fix it, you're now hearing her tell you how she feels with empathy and understanding.

Women tend to need to express their feelings in order for those feelings to be validated, and feel better. Men usually here this as, she has a problem and wants me to fix it.

And it's fantastic that you are having these realizations. This is what happens when we practice presence, we become attuned to that awesome intelligence that emanates from our own source. Realizations and revelations appear spontaneously into consciousness, like beautiful gifts, whenever we are ready. Every time I have a new realization I want to share it with the world, I can't wait to tell everybody, however, these days I tend to be much more selective.

There are no bad emotions, there are only emotions that have been perceived as bad. A painful emotion can be a catalyst for transformation.

Practicing presence is better than all the drugs in the world. There is no high quite so good as clarity.

Indeed. It´s actually quite funny to me that the older I get the more I realize that no one on this earth really has a clue of what´s going on. We are all here, trying to figure out life without a manual or code of conduct. But then one gets those insights and inspirations that are seemingly coming out of nowhere. Presence is very still indeed. You are not being hit over the head with these realizations. At least in my case I often find myself in what was once a challenging situation only to suddenly realize: "What a minute...That´s no big deal. I have all the tools here within me to deal with that issue." It´s like someone suddenly handing you over a hammer to put that nail into the wall. You don´t know where the hammer is coming from but you are happy that it´s there.

[DavidB]

It´s actually quite funny to me that the older I get the more I realize that no one on this earth really has a clue of what´s going on.

Yep, none of us has a monopoly on the truth, we all are here trying to do our best with what we have. This forum for example, is a place we can come and share our experiences, what works for us, and what doesn't and hopefully make sense of what's going on.

Something I figured, is that human existence is about living with vulnerability and limitation. Working toward clarity and contentment then, in a world that can be so potentially hostile and confusing, is definitely a challenge.

Growing older, while potentially gaining wisdom, we also are presented with increasing challenge as the body grows more weary. I tend to think of this like a video game. The early game is easy, but as we move along the game becomes more challenging.

Everything is a potential opportunity for growth.

[GermanEnlightenment]

Today I´m thinking about family.

On my journey, the more I am growing in awareness the less time I spend with my immediate family. I still spend time with my mom and my sisters but very little with my dad, my grandma, my aunt and uncle. And the reason why is that those people are very unconscious, they are good in guilt-tripping others into doing things and constantly reminding you about the things in your past you did wrong. Well, a year or so ago I was still feeling like they could hurt me and push my buttons but now I feel like it´s just exhausting and boring to deal with them. It saddens me that there´s so little awareness in them, that they would probably never consider another approach to their life even if it would depend on it.
Family dinners that I don´t attend regulary anymore are something that I don´t enjoy and never enjoyed at all. It feels more like going through the motions and paying attention (for me) not to fall into old egoic behavarioul patterns again.

But what I realized today is that maybe I don´t have to make peace with my whole family. I mean it sounds so spiritual, right? "Just forgive everyone." However, maybe I´m not at a point yet where I can let go of my inner restistance when it comes to them. There´s a reason why I erected a protective wall arround my heart when it comes to them, right? Maybe deep down I still want them to change, to become "spiritual", not realizing that it´s not my job to fix them if they don´t want to.

Also since my vibration has changed so immensly I´m no longer a match to them because they pretty much stayed where they are. And for me the most self-loving thing to do is to stay away from their company because I would rather spend my time with myself or other people that are a better match to me vibrationally. I feel like in our society we place to much value on family, believing these people should always be the most important people in our lives even if they treat us horribly and neglectfully. Maybe I´m just trying to force myself to forgive and be at peace with them and it´s actually not even fruitful to do that?

[smiileyjen101]

DavidB said: And it's fantastic that you are having these realizations. This is what happens when we practice presence, we become attuned to that awesome intelligence that emanates from our own source. Realizations and revelations appear spontaneously into consciousness, like beautiful gifts, whenever we are ready.

Nicely said.

GE said: But what I realized today is that maybe I don´t have to make peace with my whole family. I mean it sounds so spiritual, right? "Just forgive everyone." However, maybe I´m not at a point yet where I can let go of my inner restistance when it comes to them. There´s a reason why I erected a protective wall arround my heart when it comes to them, right? Maybe deep down I still want them to change, to become "spiritual", not realizing that it´s not my job to fix them if they don´t want to.

Interesting noticing GE.
People are all on their own journey and have varying levels of awareness, capacity and willingness. Don't assume it is only willingness (want to) that affects or inputs into peoples' way of being. these things, awareness, capacity, willingness overlap and interact with each other within an individual and relation to other individuals and situations. They're also not (necessarily) permanent as you have discovered with your own growth and changes of heart & mind.

In terms of what you choose --- recognise that you do not have the awareness of another nor the capacity to choose for any other.

When ET talks about being in conscious states of acceptance, enjoyment and/or enthusiasm (rather than making enemy, obstacle or means to an end of a person, thing or situation) all that is required of you is to accept your awareness, capacity & willingness, regardless of any others'.

Another interesting insight you may become aware of now that you are no longer thinking and responding as you once might have, is that we can choose (for ourselves) to let go of things - thoughts, feelings etc that do not serve us, and that do not serve, in relationships, both parties.

When you were talking about your gf - she was sharing that she was --- in this moment --- tired (for whatever reason Fore)
her depletion was in capacity, before you knew and accepted this your depletion was in awareness. Willingness is rarely the only factor that creates our responses to a thing, person, situation.

From here we can look to growing our awareness of our expectations - not our reality our assuming how we, others, or things 'should' be when they are not what we would have or expect.

Realising we are not CEO of the universe can actually free us up from pointless sufferings. (which then increases our capacity to grow awareness, capacity & willingness in more conscious areas).

Enjoy the ride GE.

[GermanEnlightenment]

When you were talking about your gf - she was sharing that she was --- in this moment --- tired (for whatever reason Fore)
her depletion was in capacity, before you knew and accepted this your depletion was in awareness. Willingness is rarely the only factor that creates our responses to a thing, person, situation.

Thanks for responding. Could you please eloborate on what you are writing here? Because I don´t get it.

[DavidB]

Maybe I´m just trying to force myself to forgive and be at peace with them and it´s actually not even fruitful to do that?

Sometimes we need to accept that relationships with family can often be very dysfunctional and not healthy for our overall well being. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that we do not need to be in an unhealthy dysfunctional relationship, even if it is family. It doesn't mean we don't love them, it just means we are not willing to be exposed to that toxicity.

Eckhart says we have 3 choices, we can either change the situation or we can remove ourselves from the situation, if we can't do either of these, then we need to accept it totally. We don't need to accept a situation that can be changed or a situation we can move away from, we only need to accept that situation when we have no other choice.

We can be at peace in all of these situations, as we allow presence to be in all these situations. The peace we experience from presence is the simplicity of presence itself. Love, forgiveness and compassion, are a natural out flowing of presence, it's the real gift that flows through us into the world.

[smiileyjen101]

Jen said: When you were talking about your gf - she was sharing that she was --- in this moment --- tired (for whatever reason Fore)
her depletion was in capacity, before you knew and accepted this your depletion was in awareness. Willingness is rarely the only factor that creates our responses to a thing, person, situation.

GE said -
Thanks for responding. Could you please elaborate on what you are writing here? Because I don´t get it.

In the posts above you were discussing your raising awareness of your moods -ways of being in this moment - and the links to understanding or at least accepting other people's moods - ways they are being in this moment. Fore (probably at least a little tongue in cheek) raised women's biological cycle as reasoning for mood swings, but they are not the only reason, in your example you mentioned your gf had been on a long trip and was tired. Tiredness affects our capacity to be 'present'. Many things affect our capacity. This is discussed well in Don Miguel Ruiz's Fourth Agreement that our best, is our best in this moment while accepting that our best changes moment to moment.

You are noticing that about yourself.

If it's happening to you it can happen to others too. It may seem like a rock doesn't move and doesn't change, but if you look at it at a molecular level, it's moving and changing all the time in response to everything around it. So is everything and everyone.

Even noticing being out of synch in terms of vibration levels with some members of your family, is a huge step in raising your own awareness. Whenever we raise our awareness - open the door to something - invariably our capacity and willingness are put into action. Then stuff just 'happens', but with our greater awareness we notice, we discern, we're awake to it.

Sure it's less taxing to stay with those at the same level, of awareness, of capacity, of willingness - but if you look back you'll realise that your growth has come from willingly (acceptingly) experiencing the differences and either bringing them into harmony (balance) or allowing the difference to be there without reacting negatively against it yourself. This might be you opening doors to understanding through experiences with others, or others opening doors to understanding through experiences with you.

Two sets of awareness, capacity and willingness at friction create energy and create movement and power action at some level.

Understanding and accepting doesn't always lead to agreement about things between people, eg one person's version of events vs another person's version of events, and definitely if you start thinking in terms of what is right / wrong or how things 'should' be - none of which are real in the wider sense.

But it does lead to more energy, movement and action around that thing and in that relationship.

By understanding and accepting the perspectives of 'what is' for its own sake we open the doors that were preventing us from understanding or even seeing that perspective. When we do that in gratitude and generosity, we open our hearts and minds as well. Constant change, constant movement is the reality of the entire universe.

A clear heart and mind will experience the moment and the relationship one to another in gratitude and generosity, regardless of the differences between people, and rather than us making up an erroneous story and creating unnecessary suffering for self and others - in ET speak - making enemy, obstacle or means to an end of a situation, thing or person.

I'd thoroughly recommend Don Miguel Ruiz's book The Four Agreements as brilliant in helping to navigate these areas - Be Impeccable with your word ~ Don't take anything personally ~ Don't make assumptions ~ Always do your best.

There is also a chapter in the book about breaking old agreements, merely ways we learned to 'be' in this world. It may be that you and particularly those members of your family you are out of kilter with are holding onto old patterns of behaviour based on old agreements.

[GermanEnlightenment]

Oh I see, thanks for clarifying.

Yeah, what I find really interesting is that now I can just leave people with their opinions alone and I don´t feel like arguing with them anymore. I was never a argumentative person for the sake of it but there were certain topics that I feel like I had to defend when I talked with my dad or certain relatives. Like f.e. my veganism, my wish to become a freelancer or the way I go about my life in general. But now it´s like I don´t care anymore. I see their awareness level and I see why they are having the opinion that they have. And that´s fine.
I guess in the past where I wasn´t really grounded in myself I was afraid that they could make me insecure about my "alternative" lifestyle-choices and that they could hurt me. At some point, though, I realized that it was totally my responsibility on how to deal with their responses. I was afraid of their opinion because I was insecure and fearful about my lifestyle and so they just reflected those insecurities and fears back at me. Even if it didn´t looked like it, they did me a favour by being the way they are.

I feel like now I´m at a point where my life becomes really fun because it´s like sometimes I´m just waiting for people to have a "negative" response to me or what I´m saying just so that I can check if I´m really comfortable with my personality, my motivations and my life in general. I feel like I can work with my thoughts now and change what I believe. This wouldn´t have been possible only two years ago where I embarked on this spiritual journey and my self-talk was so negative that every self-loving or appreciating thought was drowned out by feelings/thoughts of lack, insecurity, fear, pain etc.

[GermanEnlightenment]

Today I also thought about my spiritual journey and spiritual teachings in general.

When I started out on this journey like two years ago, it was like I almost wanted a manual to just get this enlightenment-business done and be happy with myself. I approached every teaching very analytically and mechanically and I was more concernced with testing out certain techniques with the highest efficiency than just be present with my thoughts and emotions.

In the last two years I listened to so many spiritual teachers, self-help gurus, life coachs etc. that I simply got more and more confused and I thought that I would never figure this life-thing out. Well, I have to say that it´s really hard to tell what eventually got me to the point where I am out of this rut now. My whole life has changed so dramatically that I can barely believe I am the same person anymore. The nice thoughts that I´m thinking, the good feelings that I am having, the fun job that I am doing, the cool people that I´m interacting with, the way I´m spending my free time etc. - I made a complete 180 turn in regards to everything in my life. Sometimes I still feel like it´s all just a dream (maybe it is? ) because the difference is so shocking and remarkable. I am really thankful for discovering Eckhart Tolle and countless other teachers.

But anyway, today I thought about how hard it really is to teach this stuff. When all is said and done, I ended up where I wanted to be. But how did I got here? No clue.
It´s funny because my spiritual journey was really about reconnecting with people and the world again because I was always a loner who kept to himself and didn´t trust anyone with his feelings and opinions. By opening myself up to others I could heal a lot of old wounds in myself that had to do with feelings of abandonement, disconnection, fear of love and fear of social interactions in general.
In the end, though, everyone is still alone in this and we have to figure out how to trust our intuition again. That voice inside of us that tells us what feels good to us and in what direction we should go. We tried to numb this voice out by ignoring it, supressing it and denying it. We rather listened to our fear-based minds than to our own internal guidance system. Of course, we also live in a deeply unconscious society that encourages such slogans as: "Life is hard", "No pain - no gain", "Sometimes you have to do things you don´t enjoy", "Hppe for the best, prepare for the worst." or "What makes you so special?". Now, coming out of the other side of a painful reality I find such sentiments funny, but boy did they rule my life since childhood and made it so that I often got to a point where I thought of killing myself. The amount of suffering that I experienced during my teenage years and my young adult life was so great that I am not sure how I ever got out of that.

But one thing that I learned on this journey is that it is really important to find that voice inside you again which brings you back into alignment with your higher self and puts you back on your life-stream that is guiding you towards the fulfillment of your desires. To me this process felt like cleaning up a room that was filled with a lot of crap that I didn´t want to own anymore and only took up a lot of space for new things that I could appreciate more.

I´m not perfect now but that was really never the point of it all, was it? That was my mind´s idea when I embarked on this journey but now I realize how it really isn´t about that all. It´s about re-integrating the parts of you that you abandoned, denied or rejected when you were young because you deemed them as unacceptable and unloveable. I think that´s why when people get into spirituality and start mediating they are suprised by how negative they become when in reality just a lot of supressed, old emotions are coming up with which they have to deal with. That was a trap I fell into because I thought nothing was working out right for me. I lot of anger, resentment, emptiness etc. came up during my meditations and I thought: "Hey wait a minute, I wanted to do this to not feel these negative emotions anymore and now I simply get more of them. What the hell is happening."
I became frustrated with it all and I had zero belief in ET´s teaching anymore. I don´t know what happened then but at a certain point I guess these feelings simply went away and I became interested in spirituality again. Now looking back on it, I guess even the feelings of frustration and confusion about this spiritual-thing not working out was part of the process. It would make sense because by rejecting those feelings of confusion and frustration we only create more resistance and - again - deem some feelings as unacceptable which is what we have been doing since childhood. Well, I guess everything makes sense in retrospect, right?

I think this makes spiritual teachings so difficult though. You can´t just give someone a to do-list to become enlightened, no, everyone has to figure out his own path to freedom and learn from different people. It´s like you want to build a house and you ask different teachers (could be spiritual teachers or just the people in your daily life) to give you the right tools, but not everyone has all the tools you need, so you ask all of them to provide you with the knowledge or practical help that you need.

[smiileyjen101]

^ That is really beautiful GE
Really beautiful
self respect, self love, self awareness, recognising fear, and compassion.

So if you could hold those things for others as well ... you need not limit your exposure to anyone or thing of any other frequency, as you said they've been a part of your journey, a precious part indeed. <3

[Enlightened2B]

Wow, what a beautiful post GE. It's like literally reading my own experiences of late. I resonate so very much with it as our paths are very similar!

[DavidB]

I think this makes spiritual teachings so difficult though. You can´t just give someone a to do-list to become enlightened, no, everyone has to figure out his own path to freedom and learn from different people. It´s like you want to build a house and you ask different teachers (could be spiritual teachers or just the people in your daily life) to give you the right tools, but not everyone has all the tools you need, so you ask all of them to provide you with the knowledge or practical help that you need.

Yep, spot on. People come here asking all sorts of questions in regard to their spiritual journey, and a few of us might give them very different responses. None of them necessarily better or worse than each other. Some replies resonate with some people and some resonate with others, it all depends where we are at in our journey.

For me it all essentially boils down to this one thing, presence is simply being the witness, rather than the person. However, the person is an aspect of the witness, so needs embracing, rather than rejecting. The embracing is what brings transformation though healing. When we can witness everyone else as the same as this, then we extend unconventional love, total acceptance.

Love, compassion, forgiveness, acceptance and presence, these are not of this world, they flow through us into the world. Which is in a sense, our only mission.

Thanks for sharing GE, I am enjoying your candor.