health complications

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health complications

Postby meetjoeblack » Mon Nov 14, 2016 6:04 pm

So, I have had a series of minor but very real health complications. I realize now, most of which is all directly or indirectly caused by anxiety and panic attacks. Worrying causes increase stomach acid and ulcers which led to a acid reflux diagnosis. I stopped taking medications and changed up my diet which helped it. Acid reflux can strip the enamel from your teeth since, the teeth are bathing in stomach acids. Anxiety attacks cause heart palpatations or arrhythmias. I have had my heart checked before because I thought I was having a heart attack. It was an anxiety attack.

I have did some personal development reading self help like Ecky. I still struggle but, I am more aware of my anxieties. For instance, I notice shallow breathing, racing heart beat, unease, tightness and stiff muscles, restlessness, insomnia, and many other things. Anybody overcome their anxieties? It was not long ago I had a bunch of anxieties over workplace politics. Its never ending and I need to stop fighting it. I need to go on with my life and just be at peace or the very least, content with circumstances.

That's something else I do a lot too. A lot of self blame. "That's my own fault." I think I heard it from a parent but, I am definitely reinforcing it. Something I am becoming more aware and I am stopping myself from that kind of self talk.
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Re: health complications

Postby Onceler » Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:30 am

I had a similar experience with anxiety.....mine went away over time as a result of an inquiry method suggested by John Sherman. I have written many post about this and the evolution of anxiety in my life. Help yourself to them. I realize that everyone is on a different route to wherever.....this worked for me and many others in the long term. What's curious is that with the loss of fear, I also lost the interest in spirituality. And I was intensely interested. I don't think there is a quick fix for anxiety, but there is a long plan using Sherman's method and other strategies. Once the fear of life is gone, other strategies like meditation, qigong, and yoga work better. Mainly to heal and increase enjoyment of life, not to reach some kind of other state, in my experience.

Check out his work.
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Re: health complications

Postby dijmart » Tue Nov 15, 2016 11:23 pm

Hi onceler,
Glad to hear you're doing well. It's not suprising to me that when the fear left you lost an interest in spirituality. As many, not all, but many are lead to spirituality, because of intense suffering. I can say that that's what got me interested. It's also why many seekers, again not all, but many have psychological issues to deal with. It seems to go with the territory. The problem with that is that it's difficult, sometimes impossible, to have clarity prior to the resolution of such issues. So, it's a catch 22! In my case, I worked on both, resolved the psychological, then came clarity...with the teaching of Vedanta.

I'm glad John Sherman worked for you. I tried it years ago with no success, perhaps I wasn't ready then?

....when the student is ready, the teacher/teaching will appear.

Take care,

Dij
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Re: health complications

Postby Onceler » Wed Nov 16, 2016 3:27 am

Thanks, dijmart, glad to see you are doing well as well. I was definitely looking for relief from my rather intense suffering and anxiety. Life is just sweet as it is without anything extra, you know?

Don't be too sure that Sherman's looking didn't work. It took me four or five years to see the effects. Glad you found something that works for you as well.

Take care.
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Re: health complications

Postby dijmart » Wed Nov 16, 2016 4:13 am

For me, on top of not wanting to suffer, came a burning desire to know what was really going on here!!! Lol! Which continued the search...but I'm happy to say I'm no longer a seeker and that's a relief.
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Re: health complications

Postby meetjoeblack » Thu Nov 17, 2016 3:03 am

Onceler wrote:I had a similar experience with anxiety.....mine went away over time as a result of an inquiry method suggested by John Sherman. I have written many post about this and the evolution of anxiety in my life. Help yourself to them. I realize that everyone is on a different route to wherever.....this worked for me and many others in the long term. What's curious is that with the loss of fear, I also lost the interest in spirituality. And I was intensely interested. I don't think there is a quick fix for anxiety, but there is a long plan using Sherman's method and other strategies. Once the fear of life is gone, other strategies like meditation, qigong, and yoga work better. Mainly to heal and increase enjoyment of life, not to reach some kind of other state, in my experience.

Check out his work.


I wrote about workplace politics. It bugged me a lot and people worked up my anxiety (yes, I know I need to take responsibility for letting it happen but, people in a position of power were bad to me too). I watch alternative media rather than mainstream media, I listen to podcasts but, at certain points, it only creates more ego. Being in the knowing. I do the same with the next self help book, ecky or dating. New girl. Next approach. Its so cyclical.

I like the bible verse: Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

In retrospect, it is always easier to take in but when the world feels bleak, its tough. I use apps like headspace or calm and I do some silent meditation or bodyscans. It helps. It is very hard. Also, as a guy, it seems silly and at times, very emasculating. I need to do more meditation and get back to doing yoga. It really changes my life.
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Re: health complications

Postby meetjoeblack » Thu Nov 17, 2016 3:09 am

dijmart wrote:For me, on top of not wanting to suffer, came a burning desire to know what was really going on here!!! Lol! Which continued the search...but I'm happy to say I'm no longer a seeker and that's a relief.


I read a lot. It helps organize my thoughts. I hate anxiety. I find physical exercise helps get rid of it but, it just doesn't seem like a good manly trait. It has always been there since I was a child. I remember the first panic attack I had was my first ever picture day. They called my dad to come get me. He talked me into taking my picture. After, he took me out for a hot chocolate and bought me a ghostbuster figurine. He is no longer in this world but, I am thankful I had him there that day.

I notice anxiety takes a big part of my life. It happens at doctor or dentist appointments because I worry about the worst case scenario. With teeth, I do not want to lose them. With my health, I don't want to die or be dying. Its that uncertainty. I get it with relationships and dating too. I am made to feel bad sometimes or not like a man :S emasculated or something. Then, it makes me anxious or thinking negative. It happens randomly but, the worries are usually real just over the top and made bigger then it is.
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Re: health complications

Postby dijmart » Thu Nov 17, 2016 4:37 am

Mjb,

Anxiety can bring about suffering, no doubt about it! But, I feel a duty to remind you, you're not what you take yourself to be. You are awareness, under the spell of ignorance, which makes you (awareness) identify with the "person" you appear to be, instead of your true nature. The anxiety will most likely continue if it's been a pattern throughout your life, unless or until you can recognize who you truly are. Sure, pain and pleasure will continue even when you know who you are, but suffering ends. You will know that whatever happens to the "person" (you're associated with), you (awareness) are left untouched by the "apparent" reality...it exists, because you experience it, but it's not ultimately real! What comes will also go, in this apparent reality, it is ever changeful. Awareness, the knowing, "I AM" and "I exist" has never changed in your entire life, that's what's real. It's the background to everything that appears in/to you.
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Re: health complications

Postby meetjoeblack » Fri Nov 18, 2016 2:39 am

dijmart wrote:Mjb,

Anxiety can bring about suffering, no doubt about it! But, I feel a duty to remind you, you're not what you take yourself to be. You are awareness, under the spell of ignorance, which makes you (awareness) identify with the "person" you appear to be, instead of your true nature. The anxiety will most likely continue if it's been a pattern throughout your life, unless or until you can recognize who you truly are. Sure, pain and pleasure will continue even when you know who you are, but suffering ends. You will know that whatever happens to the "person" (you're associated with), you (awareness) are left untouched by the "apparent" reality...it exists, because you experience it, but it's not ultimately real! What comes will also go, in this apparent reality, it is ever changeful. Awareness, the knowing, "I AM" and "I exist" has never changed in your entire life, that's what's real. It's the background to everything that appears in/to you.


It feels very cyclical. I was sick a few weeks ago. I am better now but, now, I am battling dental problems. I need braces to correct crowding, crooked teeth, and an overbite. I always get horrible anxiety at dentist appointments. Anxiety creates acid reflux which ruins enamel on teeth. Its a cycle. When I get through this, it will be something else without fail. I am not dying of cancer god forbid or heart disease and stroke. I should be thankful but, it feels very hopeless at times. I know its just my mind made self.

I recently took mushrooms. I felt like I had a psychosis. Like something all powerful ripped a black hole into my existence. I lost all grasp of external reality. I tried holding on but, it made the trip all the more worse. Given my predisposition to anxiety and panic attacks, its probably not the best idea for me. What I caught was negative thought loops, "its your own fault." Nasty negative thoughts. I thought about hopelessness, loss of family or friends caused by death or suicide, breakups or just never getting married, love, family, It was so dark. I have experienced depression after my father and sister died but, I never understood suicide until that moment. Like, absolutely losing all hope. It was a scary feeling to feel.

Things are not perfect. I thought if I plug away, work real hard, get a good education, be a good person, things would be much different. I have endured quite a bit of pain and it wont ever end. I am sure the answer is being content. Its just difficult to be fulfilled despite suffering.

You are a good person. I am happy you have people to go through your life journey with.
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Re: health complications

Postby dijmart » Fri Nov 18, 2016 5:38 am

Thank you MJB, but if you have missed the posts, ive said that I had a suicide attempt in 2009. I was in a coma and on life support for 5 days. So, family or not, if you're miserable, it might lead to a horrible situation.

I was given Tolle's book a few months later. Found this site 6 months later. Back then members were posting constantly, so feedback was readily available, good or bad. I will try to respond to you when you post.
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Re: health complications

Postby dijmart » Fri Nov 18, 2016 4:13 pm

Also....

When I get through this, it will be something else without fail.


Yep, the world is a pain/pleasure machine and pain is painful, so if you don't know your true nature/identity you will suffer. Suffering is the psychological bullshit we add to the pain. No matter who you are you will have pain to endure, so you're not alone, your in good company!

Ride out the storm, the clouds will part eventially and the sky will become sunny again. Just accept that the storm will come again and you can't change that, pop open the umbrella and move forward, knowing this too shall pass.
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Re: health complications

Postby meetjoeblack » Sat Nov 19, 2016 8:48 pm

dijmart wrote:Thank you MJB, but if you have missed the posts, ive said that I had a suicide attempt in 2009. I was in a coma and on life support for 5 days. So, family or not, if you're miserable, it might lead to a horrible situation.

I was given Tolle's book a few months later. Found this site 6 months later. Back then members were posting constantly, so feedback was readily available, good or bad. I will try to respond to you when you post.


Holy F. I didn't see it. I have had lost friends and family but, only minor scenarios of suicide attempts with somebody I knew. Never lost family.

I think sites like reddit are probably better for traffic or feedback. Still, you could have any stranger doing blow and nailing hookers posting on any forum. Its rare to find individuals that offer constructive useful advice or so I have found. I am sorry you experienced that.

I had a bad trip once and I finally understood suicide. Like if there was no coming back, I could see how somebody would want it to end. Do you know what your triggers are? What provokes you or sets you off?

during a panic attack, I kept thinking about loss, hopelessness, depression, that feeling of "this" present moment as all there is or ever was. Without hope, it seems rather pointless. I distract myself with tv or movies, I exercise, and I get out of the house but, it is suffering. I am ready when my time comes but I would never take my life. What scared me was finally understanding how someone could.
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Re: health complications

Postby meetjoeblack » Sat Nov 19, 2016 8:51 pm

dijmart wrote:Also....

When I get through this, it will be something else without fail.


Yep, the world is a pain/pleasure machine and pain is painful, so if you don't know your true nature/identity you will suffer. Suffering is the psychological bullshit we add to the pain. No matter who you are you will have pain to endure, so you're not alone, your in good company!

Ride out the storm, the clouds will part eventially and the sky will become sunny again. Just accept that the storm will come again and you can't change that, pop open the umbrella and move forward, knowing this too shall pass.


Its easier to accept if "passing" meant transcending but rather, its one health complication to another. Its a acid reflux issues, its getting sick, its feeling better then a cavity or something else. I could date somebody. They can leave. I was seeing a girl and we stopped talking. She messages me later about her immune system being weak which really scared me about hiv/aids. Its been a weird experience. Its cool to know we are all going through it so, I try to make it all relatable.
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Re: health complications

Postby dijmart » Sat Nov 19, 2016 11:27 pm

Hi MJB,

I could see how somebody would want it to end. Do you know what your triggers are? What provokes you or sets you off?


This happened in 2009, I can tell the "story" when I need to, but I don't identify with it any longer. I don't have triggers to suicidal ideation now.

Its easier to accept if "passing" meant transcending but rather, its one health complication to another.


How you transcend it, is by knowing it's not the "real" you. Pain will still be painful, but you don't have to suffer, if you know your true nature.

I could date somebody. They can leave.


Yep, this "apparent" reality is changeful...nothing stays the same forever. The only thing that doesn't change is you, awareness!
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Re: health complications

Postby meetjoeblack » Sun Nov 20, 2016 12:19 am

dijmart wrote:Hi MJB,

This happened in 2009, I can tell the "story" when I need to, but I don't identify with it any longer. I don't have triggers to suicidal ideation now.


Glad to hear it. :D

Yep, this "apparent" reality is changeful...nothing stays the same forever. The only thing that doesn't change is you, awareness!


Its strange. If somebody rationalizes, what would happen if you approach a perfect stranger, anybody can mental masturbate as to what would happen. There is only one way to know for sure. Its not easy. Then again, what alternative is there?
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