Everything reminds me of "her"

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Everything reminds me of "her"

Postby Attention » Wed Mar 29, 2017 1:07 pm

Two and half years ago, I got to know a girl and developed feelings for her but she wanted us to stay just friends. My feelings never gone. Lately, she decided to end this friendship, and this was also hard for me.

One of the things that I'm struggling with is that she's always in my mind. We were texting a lot in the past, and I remember a lot of words, with the memories comes a heavy uncomfortable feelings.

Today I was reading "A New Earth", and even the ideas of "Alignment with life", "The higher order" remind me of her words when we are talking and I was trying to convince her how much I want this relationship (she knows these ideas because we have also the same believes in our religion).

So now, I'm trying to accept "this moment", get along with Eckhart Teachings. So I can raise my consciousness up, and re-reading "A new earth" is my current step, but I'm bothered and wanted an explanation why these ideas attached with memories of her plus bad feelings the memories are bringing. And how to be more comfortable when while reading.
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Re: Everything reminds me of "her"

Postby dijmart » Fri Mar 31, 2017 1:37 am

You're grieving the loss of the relationship. It will take as long as it takes for her to get out of your head.
Take what you like and leave the rest.
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Re: Everything reminds me of "her"

Postby Attention » Fri Mar 31, 2017 12:53 pm

dijmart wrote:You're grieving the loss of the relationship. It will take as long as it takes for her to get out of your head.


How to speed up the process, or rather how to not keep it permanent. For me, it seems that this is never going to end, perhaps until I find somebody else, and this is not easy.

In the past, I tried many times to end the relationship, but after 2-3 months I find that the attachment never lessened so I would rather friend her again so maybe something could happen..
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Re: Everything reminds me of "her"

Postby dijmart » Fri Mar 31, 2017 3:08 pm

Attention wrote:
dijmart wrote:You're grieving the loss of the relationship. It will take as long as it takes for her to get out of your head.


How to speed up the process, or rather how to not keep it permanent. For me, it seems that this is never going to end, perhaps until I find somebody else, and this is not easy.

In the past, I tried many times to end the relationship, but after 2-3 months I find that the attachment never lessened so I would rather friend her again so maybe something could happen..


The five stages of grief/loss are- denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. They don't have to go in order and people often jump around several stages, even in one day. Also, not everyone experiences all of them.

Your last sentence is part of the denial and bargaining stage or so it seems. I don't know how to speed up the process. Some find dating other people to lesson the blow, others can't conceive of doing that. So, it's an individual thing. I'd say it takes time. How much time depends on the person.
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