Some advice

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Some advice

Postby Tulip54 » Wed Jun 28, 2017 7:19 pm

Hello to everyone.

Can anyone help? I am afraid I was all on-board with this spiritual guidance and I could feel it. Not like Eckhart describes but I felt so much more peaceful. Although it's said you cannot lose your true self I have. Well that's what it feels like. For the last month I have been feeling so depressed.
I feel like I have lost any joy I "found" and feel worse than I did before my spiritual journey.
I practice staying present like I did but I feel no joy.
I feel like I am a waste of a human being. I don't understand it anymore.
I used to take comfort in Eckharts words and Mooji but now even that does not give me any release from this sorrow.
I try to feel it and accept it but it seems to make it worse.
I do not know what has happened and why the words that resonated so deep within me are now meaningless.
Has anyone of you experienced anything like this?
Thank you in advance for by replies.
It is some comfort to know I can share ok this site.
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Re: Some advice

Postby Webwanderer » Wed Jun 28, 2017 10:19 pm

Hi Tulip. What you are going through is not at all uncommon. My experience is that it comes from a sense of identity.

Although it's said you cannot lose your true self I have.

Consider that statement for a moment. Doesn't it seem a bit backwards? It assumes that you and your 'true self' are separate entities. How else could the 'you identity' loose the 'true identity'? You might say you have your hat on backwards.

Let's get ourselves strait. 'You' are your 'true self' simply, and temporarily, lost in a belief structure about this Tulip persona and identification you imagine yourself to be. This belief structured identity was indoctrinated in you through a process of choices made about the nature of the world you grew up in and all the influences that came to bear on your developing mind. It is an adopted identification. There is nothing wrong with this however, as it is a design factor in this human experience.

The problems we have are in the beliefs we hold. Believe something different and our experience of self and life changes. It is at its base just a choice - one we have made through indoctrination, or one we choose to make through enhanced awareness.

I practice staying present like I did but I feel no joy.

I feel like I am a waste of a human being. I don't understand it anymore.

Being present, no matter how long those moments hold, is only part of the practice. You can be present with the thought that 'you are worthless' and guess what you will manifest? Maybe feelings of worthlessness? Should that be a surprise? What would you feel if you moved to presence - clear presence - with only feelings of appreciation? How would that affect your well being.

Sure, I know that can be a big step when you have a habitual focus on self-deprecation, so start simpler. What do you like in life? Do you like nature? A beautiful flower perhaps? Or a walk in the woods? Do you love children? Do you enjoy the smell of a tasty meal? Beautiful music? A bird song? The simple choices are endless. Pick one, or two, or a thousand one at a time and be present with what ever brings you a little joy and appreciate it.

That present feeling of appreciation, no matter how small, will change the nature of the energy flowing through your being. Repeat it often enough and it will change your life. There is so much beauty and opportunity in life that it can't be measured. We only need to make the choice that finding it is more important than living in the beliefs that bring us pain. Those beliefs were adopted at some point in your life and they can be replace by intentionally and consistently choosing a new belief structure to live through.

Know that old habits sometimes die hard, and those thought structures that bring you pain can arise again and again. Be alright with it. Do not see it as failure, just adopt an appreciation that you now see it for what it is - old habits of thought that no longer apply. It will pass and you will soon get back to your sense of appreciation for the many opportunities that come by each and every day.

Understand that genuine appreciation is about as close to unconditional love that a human being can experience. It is alignment with our true self in action. And always be patient with yourself. We are our own worst judges when understanding is most called for. Life is just as good as we choose to see it.

WW
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Re: Some advice

Postby sardinelover » Thu Jun 29, 2017 2:15 pm

Tulip54 wrote:For the last month I have been feeling so depressed.


I suggest visiting a counselor or mental health professional. Your state/territory may provide free counseling services.

Spirituality can certainly help with depression, but a high degree of presence is required.
Relax your face
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Re: Some advice

Postby Rob X » Thu Jun 29, 2017 3:44 pm

Tulip54 wrote:Hello to everyone.

Can anyone help? I am afraid I was all on-board with this spiritual guidance and I could feel it. Not like Eckhart describes but I felt so much more peaceful. Although it's said you cannot lose your true self I have. Well that's what it feels like. For the last month I have been feeling so depressed.
I feel like I have lost any joy I "found" and feel worse than I did before my spiritual journey.
I practice staying present like I did but I feel no joy.
I feel like I am a waste of a human being. I don't understand it anymore.
I used to take comfort in Eckharts words and Mooji but now even that does not give me any release from this sorrow.
I try to feel it and accept it but it seems to make it worse.
I do not know what has happened and why the words that resonated so deep within me are now meaningless.
Has anyone of you experienced anything like this?
Thank you in advance for by replies.
It is some comfort to know I can share ok this site.


Hi Tulip, don’t despair, as WW says, this flip-flopping between spaciousness and contraction is not at all uncommon for seekers - especially early on.

The dilemma is that when this sense of contraction arises we immediately look to how the sense of spaciousness and peace came to be in the first place. We retrace our steps, read the same passages and watch the same clips in order to recreate a certain frame of mind. But this can feel dry and sterile. This is because we are in a mode of mind agitation and expectation where memory and analysis are subtly at work.

It’s this mind-agitation/expectation/memory mode that is the problem. When the sense of spaciousness and peace originally revealed itself, these things were in remission.

So what to do? Well ‘what not to do’ is a better question. I would recommend a letting go of striving and seeking. Relax - get on with other things. The seed has been planted - you can’t force its growth - just let it go and allow things to be as they are.

Now whenever you can - gently and without any striving or expectation, shift your attention away from the narratives/anticipation/memory in your head and look to the raw actuality of what is happening (going for long walks can be helpful here.) Don’t look to succeed at anything - the fact of doing this will be enough.

In this way you make yourself available for a seeing/insight that is beyond concepts and conditioning.
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Re: Some advice

Postby Tulip54 » Thu Jul 06, 2017 9:15 am

Thank you for your kind words. They are much appreciated
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Re: Some advice

Postby Webwanderer » Thu Jul 06, 2017 9:07 pm

Tulip54 wrote:Thank you for your kind words. They are much appreciated

Now you're talking. Genuine appreciation has value and will enhance your experience in any moment that it is present. Enjoy that feeling often - very often.

WW
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