No going back, but is it worth it?

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No going back, but is it worth it?

Postby Enlightened2B » Mon Jul 24, 2017 5:38 am

This website was one of the most transformational places for me back when I was posting here regularly. I learned so much from people, made some friends, got into plenty of arguments as well, let me own ego get in the way plenty of times, experienced "Phil2", didn't even give out my real name at first out of fear of meeting people on this site, who might know me in real life, (I was very fearful when I first joined here), had another username I posted with prior to this one, but the lost the email address I used for that one, and yet it was in my early days of posting here that I had a spiritual awakening experience which changed my life completely. And sometimes, I wish I never did.

Since my awakening experience, my entire life changed, because my perspective shifted. Before that experience, sure I suffered, mainly in relationships and with my health, but life seemed easier at times, just going through the world not giving a rat's tushy who I really was. Everything in my life now always comes down to understanding what's actually happening in my experience. Am I operating/creating form that limiting ego perspective or am I operating/creating from the vast space of who I really am? Yet, what is seemingly incredible is how my life has pushed me more and more and more into a vulnerable, open, authentic place, while it was so much easier at times staying hidden. But, it's almost like every experience I have had has perfectly led to this present moment where I am right now. It hasn't been easy, but I've learned so much, resisted much as well, but I couldn't be where I am, if there was no guidance. The majority of the people I used to be friends with have completely shifted out of my life and new people who align more with where I am at, have shifted into my life. It's just the way this whole thing works I feel.

But, sometimes I just wonder if I could just go back in my life and pretend none of that ever happened. Life has gotten very difficult for me lately emotionally and with physical health. Yet, even saying that I could pretend, sounds ridiculous, because I can't pretend. Even the smallest glimpse of the man behind the curtain so to speak, has the potential to change everything I feel.......Not sure where I am going with this, so leaving it off here. If anyone wants to add their experiences with this, feel free.
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Re: No going back, but is it worth it?

Postby DavidB » Mon Jul 24, 2017 9:13 am

Hi E2B,

I feel as though I've come full circle.

At the very beginning of my awakening I was very naive and hadn't a clue about much of anything. I was quite young though, in my early 20's, so I didn't really know much about anything anyway. When I first became aware of the deeper dimensions of reality, I had this very simple and blissfully ignorant idea that nothing really mattered, that whatever I thought or whatever I did, was perfectly ok. I didn't know it at the time, but what I had discovered very early on, was that state of living in non-resistance, not minding what happened.

Between then and now, I was consumed with spirituality. I learned a great deal about myself, the nature of reality and the human condition, and thankfully am not confused anymore, most things make sense to me now. Through discovering how things work, I no longer live in a state of ignorance.

To be perfectly honest with you, I hardly ever think of spiritual matters anymore. I have returned to that blissful non-resistance where I really don't mind what happens.
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
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Re: No going back, but is it worth it?

Postby rachMiel » Mon Jul 24, 2017 6:16 pm

Before I had studied Zen for thirty years, I saw mountains as mountains, and waters as waters. When I arrived at a more intimate knowledge, I came to the point where I saw that mountains are not mountains, and waters are not waters. But now that I have got its very substance I am at rest. Once again I see mountains as mountains, and waters as waters.

— Ch'ing-yüan Wei-hsin
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily ...
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Re: No going back, but is it worth it?

Postby Enlightened2B » Mon Jul 24, 2017 9:28 pm

Thanks for the replies. Geez, what happened to this forum? This place used to be hopping with conversation. It was too much conversation at some points. Just reminiscing. Some very special times in my life.....on the internet none the less. 8)
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Re: No going back, but is it worth it?

Postby Onceler » Mon Jul 24, 2017 10:26 pm

There's not much to say, many times I begin to formulate replies here and then just say, aw screw it, and delete the post......I agree with DavidB, things are very much simpler now. I'm not looking for spiritual solutions, just living life. With most psychological suffering at an end, or taking a break, I just try to be a better human. I accept who I am with all my flaws and try to be better. I too don't really mind what happens and would never want to go back to my previous, intensely neurotic, life. Never.
Be present, be pleasant.
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Re: No going back, but is it worth it?

Postby Enlightened2B » Mon Jul 24, 2017 10:52 pm

Onceler wrote:There's not much to say, many times I begin to formulate replies here and then just say, aw screw it, and delete the post....


Ha, yes, I've done that too!
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Re: No going back, but is it worth it?

Postby runstrails » Tue Jul 25, 2017 12:00 am

Hi E2B,
Sorry to hear that you are going through some hard times. Par for the course in samsara, unfortunately. To my mind, a real purpose of awakening is to give us the emotional resilience with which to face problems when they (inevitably) will arise. And when problems arise I think of it as an opportunity to further my practice and deepen my self-knowledge.

It's a good question you raise. For me, I can't even imagine going back to the 'way it used to be'. Constantly indulging cravings, avoiding fears, feeling that horrible feeling of separation, looking for answers in life's zero sum game. Seems like a distant mad world. Nowadays no matter how difficult life gets, there is an undercurrent of peace. What you are is never affected by any of madness within the cosmic merry-go-around. Stay with that :D.
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Re: No going back, but is it worth it?

Postby Webwanderer » Tue Jul 25, 2017 12:30 am

Sometimes I wish life had a 'save' button. You know like a game where you save your place and then play on. Then when things don't go so well, you can just restart from the saved place taking the knowledge you just gained with you to apply in a replay of the game. I think I'll talk to Source about installing such a function. :lol:

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Re: No going back, but is it worth it?

Postby turiya » Tue Jul 25, 2017 1:26 am

Webwanderer wrote:Sometimes I wish life had a 'save' button.

WW


lol Me too! :D
"If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is - infinite." -William Blake
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Re: No going back, but is it worth it?

Postby turiya » Tue Jul 25, 2017 1:44 am

Onceler wrote:There's not much to say, many times I begin to formulate replies here and then just say, aw screw it, and delete the post...


I do this a lot on forums... and in my life, too (thinking of something to say while another person is talking... then just "deleting" the thought and sitting there listening to the other person.) :wink:
"If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is - infinite." -William Blake
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Re: No going back, but is it worth it?

Postby Enlightened2B » Tue Jul 25, 2017 5:10 am

Thanks for the replies RT and WW. Let me know what Source says to your question, although I have a feeling that Source might say something along the lines of "That's cheating" 8)

I will add more to this topic at a later time. With love to you all
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Re: No going back, but is it worth it?

Postby Rob X » Tue Jul 25, 2017 3:00 pm

I honestly think that you could go back - or rather, go forward and rediscover the simplicity and innocence of this.

Like Onceler and David B, I no longer really think about this stuff much these days. Every day I meditate and have walks where I clear my head (practical stuff, I suppose.) I will occasionally engage in a topic here if I feel moved to (this is the only forum I visit.) I have rid myself of 95% of my books. (At one time I had everything ever written by Ramana and Nisargadatta - they’ve all gone now - including my, once sacred, hardback copy of ‘I Am That.’) Looking over at my shelf, I see one book by Tolle (PON), a book by Balsekar, Alan Watts and about a dozen or so Buddhism/Taoism related books.

What I really don’t want/need is more information, more theory and certainly not more speculation. Over the years I’ve managed to strip away all that is surplus, inconsistent, muddled and highly speculative (of course there are things about this great mystery that will remain unknowable and unprovable - speculation (for me) is where a human mammal claims to know things that they couldn’t possibly know for certain.)

What I am left with is what I innocently stumbled across nearly 18 years ago. And it’s utterly simple and in plain sight. It hasn’t solved my life situations - far from it - but it’s made everything manageable because there is only everything and to argue with THAT is futile.
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Re: No going back, but is it worth it?

Postby Webwanderer » Tue Jul 25, 2017 4:45 pm

Enlightened2B wrote:Thanks for the replies RT and WW. Let me know what Source says to your question, although I have a feeling that Source might say something along the lines of "That's cheating" 8)

Okay, I checked with Source. Source says there is a better app already in place. Source calls it multi-dimensional, simultaneous, creative expressionism. Basically all time frames are in a constant state of creative development. Time as we know it here is only a context to work out the feeling/emotional details to make the experience more enriching. New details, including new history, are constantly being added. Ever notice how they keep making 'new' discoveries of historical events? In other words, all time frames are undergoing development simultaneously.

Hmm. Well, while that's pretty cool, I still wouldn't mind a sub routine to have a more direct access to a redo of some of my 'past choices'. Guess I'm still a bit too small minded. :roll:

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Re: No going back, but is it worth it?

Postby Enlightened2B » Wed Jul 26, 2017 3:53 am

Webwanderer wrote: New details, including new history, are constantly being added. Ever notice how they keep making 'new' discoveries of historical events? In other words, all time frames are undergoing development simultaneously.


You know, that's something that's always interested me. I've heard Abraham talk about it. So, all of history and science being discovered already exists in a parallel reality I would assume. I mean, if all realities are simultaneous, and happening NOW, then the dinosaurs are existing now, yet, what to make of the entire universe (outer space)? Are there actually other planets out there that we haven't seen yet, meaning, are we actually discovering planets or is it that these planets have always existed in a sense, in a parallel reality? Then there's different versions of everything too based on our individual interpretations. But, I do believe there is a consensus, collective shared reality that we all experience different versions of and are in a sense creating. I know Seth and Bashar have both talked about this stuff.
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Re: No going back, but is it worth it?

Postby dijmart » Wed Jul 26, 2017 5:41 am

Hi En2b,

Yeah, this forum is dying, imo. Sadly, after 8 years I finally moved on to another forum and just check here every 7-10 days or so.

Anyways, sorry about your troubles lately. Went through some tough times myself about 4 months ago, everytime I turned around there was some crisis, but his too shall pass, eventually.

Anyways, yeah, the good old days..lol. We were often confused together..hehe..being like "whhaattttt???". Can you rephrase that? ..Say it a different way?.. :lol:
Take what you like and leave the rest.
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