How can I detach from anger when I hate anxiety/depression

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How can I detach from anger when I hate anxiety/depression

Postby jtightlips21 » Wed Sep 06, 2017 1:32 am

I find that for me, anger gives me a sense of empowerment, where anxiety and depression just feel like defeat. In the presence of problems, Anger gives me the sense of fight where anxiety has too much flight. For me, when something unpleasant happens, my automatic response is to get angry. For example someone insult me, I feel angry because I dont want to accept any validity to what an external entity has spoken if offensive, where I feel like getting hurt would equal accepting a negative definition of myself. Otherwise, I see anxiety as fearing someone just because they have power, and therefore a form of surrender and admitting that might makes right. Or what I most dislike are the kind of people whose level of respect is dictated based on how much power one has over them. Similar to Peter Pettigrew from Harry Potter. Or the person who treats their boss better than their kids, or takes advantage of nice people, but kiss up to pushy people.
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Re: How can I detach from anger when I hate anxiety/depressi

Postby dijmart » Wed Sep 06, 2017 2:18 am

My question would be are you even able to choose between them (anger, anxiety, depression)? Your question seems to presume a choice between them?
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Re: How can I detach from anger when I hate anxiety/depressi

Postby jtightlips21 » Wed Sep 06, 2017 7:15 pm

dijmart wrote:My question would be are you even able to choose between them (anger, anxiety, depression)? Your question seems to presume a choice between them?

Probably not.
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Re: How can I detach from anger when I hate anxiety/depressi

Postby painBody » Thu Sep 07, 2017 1:02 am

I don't know if this is solely my experience, but to me, those 3 emotions you mention are almost not distinguishable from one another. In other words, when I experience one, I often experience the other two as well. Or, perhaps, it might start out as anger coupled with anxiety, then quickly morph into depression, then back into anger, and so on. The whole thing is just kind of a big cocktail of shit.

Like Dijmart said, it isn't realistic to be able to choose between them. So, what can you do ?

I think, in my case, my first step is just to recognize, "Ok, this has happened before. It sucks, but give it some time to run its course and (hopefully) dissipate." The stew of powerful emotions has a momentum, and it takes time (and awareness) to dissipate.

That is how I, personally, "detach" from episodes of anger/anxiety/depression when they occur.
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Re: How can I detach from anger when I hate anxiety/depressi

Postby dijmart » Thu Sep 07, 2017 3:33 am

Nice post PB!
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Re: How can I detach from anger when I hate anxiety/depressi

Postby painBody » Thu Sep 07, 2017 8:23 am

dijmart wrote:Nice post PB!


:D
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Re: How can I detach from anger when I hate anxiety/depressi

Postby dijmart » Thu Sep 07, 2017 2:56 pm

painBody wrote:
dijmart wrote:Nice post PB!


:D


Ahh, you took the plunge and added your pic, nice!
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Re: How can I detach from anger when I hate anxiety/depressi

Postby jtightlips21 » Thu Sep 07, 2017 5:57 pm

painBody wrote:I don't know if this is solely my experience, but to me, those 3 emotions you mention are almost not distinguishable from one another. In other words, when I experience one, I often experience the other two as well. Or, perhaps, it might start out as anger coupled with anxiety, then quickly morph into depression, then back into anger, and so on. The whole thing is just kind of a big cocktail of shit.

Like Dijmart said, it isn't realistic to be able to choose between them. So, what can you do ?

I think, in my case, my first step is just to recognize, "Ok, this has happened before. It sucks, but give it some time to run its course and (hopefully) dissipate." The stew of powerful emotions has a momentum, and it takes time (and awareness) to dissipate.

That is how I, personally, "detach" from episodes of anger/anxiety/depression when they occur.


This sounds like a Theory I had read before, where what we call "negative" emotions are all grounded on fear. Correct me if I am wrong, but what it sounds like you are saying is that we really cannot have an either/or view of our emotions. I find in much of our culture, we tend to see anger as empowering and willing to confront injustice. While we tend to see anxiety and depression as being weak, defeatists and helpless. I remember how in Political theory, there was a quote repeated from the founding fathers saying "When the people fear the government, there is tyranny, yet when the government fears the people there is freedom".

For me, I can see how much of my anger is over a fear of another entity having absolute authority over me, whether it is in the authority to control, punish, condemn or define me.
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Re: How can I detach from anger when I hate anxiety/depressi

Postby painBody » Thu Sep 07, 2017 8:40 pm

dijmart wrote:Ahh, you took the plunge and added your pic, nice!


I studied y'all on this site for a year, convinced myself that there are no psycho stalkers or other malevolent entities here, and took a leap of faith :)
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Re: How can I detach from anger when I hate anxiety/depressi

Postby jtightlips21 » Sun Oct 01, 2017 5:20 am

I sometimes wonder if anger is really so dignifying or if its just proud. It seems like Anger has an appeal of some form of self empowerment, where one wants to change something that displeases them, and if something cannot be done to at least refuse to be sucked into and accommodate what has happened. I know I am one to get angry if someone says something offensive to me, where anger for me is a rebellion against their unflattering statement or action in a refusal to let them hurt my feelings, or accept the definition of me they have given.
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Re: How can I detach from anger when I hate anxiety/depressi

Postby Mystic » Sun Oct 01, 2017 11:57 am

jtightlips21 wrote:I sometimes wonder if anger is really so dignifying or if its just proud. It seems like Anger has an appeal of some form of self empowerment, where one wants to change something that displeases them, and if something cannot be done to at least refuse to be sucked into and accommodate what has happened. I know I am one to get angry if someone says something offensive to me, where anger for me is a rebellion against their unflattering statement or action in a refusal to let them hurt my feelings, or accept the definition of me they have given.


Anger can appear to involve a strong sense of judgment, for example a form of mentation might be the "I am right and you are wrong" type of feeling.

Can we learn not to take things too personally?

https://swedenborg.com/new-mind-landing-page/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoVdYCpfr4Q
This video takes a look at “thinking impersonally” in a positive sense. Often we focus too hard on the people involved in situations, which can lead us to competitiveness or unnecessary judgment. It includes a few examples of practical application of this concept, which Swedenborg wrote was essential to the “angelic” or higher mindset.
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Re: How can I detach from anger when I hate anxiety/depressi

Postby jtightlips21 » Mon Oct 02, 2017 12:20 am

I have been observing that I am getting more and more discontent with identification with the mind, since the only thing the mind can recognize are impersonal facts. Since the way we often times recognize reality is undesirable. Its that question of why should we surrender to reality when reality wont surrender to us. But then I wonder if we are often times seeing absolute reality as something ultimately unconscious. I find this hard to explain, since it is impossible to speak of a conscious or personal understanding of reality.
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Re: How can I detach from anger when I hate anxiety/depressi

Postby jtightlips21 » Sun Nov 05, 2017 4:28 am

I have wondered if part of the anger is a defense mechanism from unwanted thoughts about ourselves being put in our heads. If someone shows me disrespect, I have wondered if the anger is over someone putting a thought in my head that I am inferior and deserve that treatment. So I wonder if the automatic response is to fight this unwanted thought, through getting angry at the person who behaved as such.
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Re: How can I detach from anger when I hate anxiety/depressi

Postby Webwanderer » Sun Nov 05, 2017 8:16 am

I would suggest that anger, while in some contexts, can be a defense mechanism, it has more to do with the judgment we place on some of the events and conditions of our life experience. The more we see some event or condition as wrong, the more we may be inclined to become angry about it. Especially to the degree we believe 'it should not be'.

Anger may often be the by-product, but it is the judgment one makes that is anger's underlying cause. Now anger is not a bad thing necessarily. But it can lead to some very unpleasant conditions. Anger is just a flow of energy born of a judgment. Deal with the underlying judgment and the anger will not develop.

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