Painful Physical Reaction from Thought / Relationship Effect

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Painful Physical Reaction from Thought / Relationship Effect

Postby mz222 » Sun Sep 24, 2017 5:27 am

Hi all,

I came across Eckhart Tolle's books a few years ago and have been practicing watching thoughts come and go without attaching to them.

Recently some concerns have made their way into my mind regarding work and relationship.

I'll wake up, feel okay for a bit, and then thoughts about the relationship I'm in and my work arise, and some of them create a strained, pressured, even hot feeling in my body. Some have told me this is a signal those thoughts are not right, and some have told me they signal a change that needs to be made. This confuses me, because I've also heard that it's the ego that -demands- change... then I think, "what if it's true that my work and/or relationship environment is toxic? What then? I feel uncomfortable changing the relationship, but I would like to find work that aligns with what I enjoy doing."

The stress from these thoughts bleeds over into my interactions, and I tend to be more avoidant of interactions with others, because of what's running through my mind. How do we know when, and what, to change without slipping into repetitive thinking?
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Re: Painful Physical Reaction from Thought / Relationship Ef

Postby Webwanderer » Fri Sep 29, 2017 4:51 pm

mz222 wrote:'ll wake up, feel okay for a bit, and then thoughts about the relationship I'm in and my work arise, and some of them create a strained, pressured, even hot feeling in my body. Some have told me this is a signal those thoughts are not right, and some have told me they signal a change that needs to be made. This confuses me, because I've also heard that it's the ego that -demands- change... then I think, "what if it's true that my work and/or relationship environment is toxic? What then? I feel uncomfortable changing the relationship, but I would like to find work that aligns with what I enjoy doing."

It's a bit risky to consider that thoughts may not be 'right' as it suggests that they are wrong. It's more likely that they are just out of alignment with what you feel is best. You also said that you 'feel uncomfortable'. Feeling is generally a better guide to your own best interest than is arbitrary thoughts (your own or others) of right and wrong. If feeling uncomfortable about changing the relationship, then there is likely a better course of action - or at least more clarity to be had.

Consider the possibilities in the context of how they feel when you explore them as an actual choice. Logic is useful but without a feeling as guidance it could be simply an exercise in justification. Pointers from others, no matter how authoritative they may seem, are still just pointers and don't know your unique circumstances. Get familiar with your own inner guidance and you will have the best possible solutions available.

WW
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Re: Painful Physical Reaction from Thought / Relationship Ef

Postby mz222 » Sat Sep 30, 2017 4:44 am

Webwanderer wrote:
mz222 wrote:'ll wake up, feel okay for a bit, and then thoughts about the relationship I'm in and my work arise, and some of them create a strained, pressured, even hot feeling in my body. Some have told me this is a signal those thoughts are not right, and some have told me they signal a change that needs to be made. This confuses me, because I've also heard that it's the ego that -demands- change... then I think, "what if it's true that my work and/or relationship environment is toxic? What then? I feel uncomfortable changing the relationship, but I would like to find work that aligns with what I enjoy doing."

It's a bit risky to consider that thoughts may not be 'right' as it suggests that they are wrong. It's more likely that they are just out of alignment with what you feel is best. You also said that you 'feel uncomfortable'. Feeling is generally a better guide to your own best interest than is arbitrary thoughts (your own or others) of right and wrong. If feeling uncomfortable about changing the relationship, then there is likely a better course of action - or at least more clarity to be had.

Consider the possibilities in the context of how they feel when you explore them as an actual choice. Logic is useful but without a feeling as guidance it could be simply an exercise in justification. Pointers from others, no matter how authoritative they may seem, are still just pointers and don't know your unique circumstances. Get familiar with your own inner guidance and you will have the best possible solutions available.

WW


Well, for example, I'll get really worried about my relationship/living situation and start to think I just need to end it or cut if off. Yet, when I'm home with that person everything relaxes and I feel a bit better. Yet, the topic of the relationship not being "right" for me has been on my mind for months, so that must mean something I believe. I am exploring different outcomes, to see which one feels the best. I don't want to cleave the tie to this person, but I don't want things to stay as they have been, as I don't feel I'm living my own life. The closer I've gotten to accepting the thoughts of "I don't like this person, I want them gone" the better I've felt, so, even if the thoughts were overblown, I believe it may be my inner guidance nudging me in a different direction to modify the circumstances as they've grown to a point where I'm unhappy with them. The overblown part can just be the "force" required to get us back on the right track I believe. How can one be sure they're hearing their inner guidance?
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